Visser Three's Journal
by Sinister Shadow
Summary: -Part Two of the Visser Diaries Trilogy- Less than a year after the end of the Diary, Visser Three receives a brand new Journal... and the antics continue as if they never left. Yet not everything is as simple as it once was... Will V3 ever catch a break?
1. It's Me, Visser Three!

**Visser Three's Journal**

by Sinister Shadow

**Humor/General**

**Rated 14+**

**I don't own Animorphs.**

**A/N: **Hey everyone! This, as you must all have figured by now, is the **sequel** to **"Visser Three's Diary". **I was amazed by the success of that first fic, so I decided to make a sequel.** "Visser Three's Journal" **is a lot like "Visser Three's Diary", except that the story follows itself a bit more. There's a bit more of a plotline in this one, too. Of course, though, the diaries will always be primarily humor. This one is just more serious than the first one, as the story is progressing.

In "Visser Three's Journal", those who liked the **three main characters **of "Visser Three's Diary" -- **Visser Three**, **Visser One** and **Iniss 226** -- will be pleased to find them all in the Journal. Some other characters in the Diary will also be in the Journal, as well as some new characters (some in Animorphs, some OCs).

I hope you like my new fic! Read on, and enjoy!...

(Side note: This will only make sense after you read the chapter, but for your best interest while reading this trilogy I suggest that you **pay attention to the dream in this chapter**. I won't tell you why, just pay attention to it and don't forget it.)

_**Dedicated to my best friends Concrete Angel and Jess for being the best – and helping me out with some ideas for this fic… Thanks guys!Also, to Edriss (for being an awesome friend and being the author of "The Beginning of the End", my favorite fic on this website) and Kharina (for being so enthusiastic about this fic. You won't be disappointed:P).** _

**---**

**Visser Three's Journal**

"_It's a new melody but the same old song…"_

**_Chapter1_  
It's Me, Visser Three!**

... May 1st

Entry One

Dear Diary... No, Dear _Journal_,

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Finally! It's been almost a year since I've been able to write anything! Well... unless you count the stuff I scribbled on Iniss's spare toilet paper...

My Yeerk who's pretending to be my grandmother decided to not wait until my birthday to send me this… but still, she HAD to wait a BAZILLION FRICKING HOURS! Gah! Anyway, in any case… thank God! How _else _was I supposed to get another diary? She's the only one who knows I even _have _one! I guess she's got psychic powers, because she must have sensed I needed to write down my hidden thoughts and emotions... OF COURSE I have hidden thought and emotions! You're dumb, Journal.

I decided to call you, my new Diary, Journal. Because... well, I wouldn't want to get stuck saying 'Dear Diary _Number Two_'! Now _that _would just be irrelevantly stupid. I bet Iniss called _his _diary'Diary Number Two'. The fricking dapsen.

Oh, by the way, Iniss Two-Two-Six is my personal assistant. You know, the guy I drag along with me everywhere I go. Except to the bathroom... Eew. I don't think even _Iniss _would want to be in there...

You might be thinking: "WOW! A P.A.! Cool!", but if you are, you're a dapsen. See, Iniss is NOT 'cool', as you'd say. Actually, he's the contrary of cool. He _looks _like a fricking DORK. Especially when he wears those unimaginably large, round sunglasses. Uhh...! Find a happy place!

Some females think Iniss is cute. I think some females are humanized dapsens.

Actually, _most _females these days are humanized dapsens. And I do emphasize the 'most', though only _very slightly_. Seriously, there is only one female I can think of who's a serious Yeerk. Definitely not a humanized dapsen.

... Well, she's a dapsen, but she's not humanized! She used to be... I know her secrets... but not anymore.

Her name is Edriss Five-Six-Two. Her rank is Miss Dapsenish Devil. Now, if she ever finds this, _my _rank will be Dead, and _you'll _end up in Foster Care for Diaries.

No, actually... She's ranked higher than me. Snif... SNIF SNIF SNIF! Okay, I'm a retard... Anyway, her rank is Visser One, head of the Yeerk military. In other words, by legal actions, I must obey her if she gives me an order. But I've never really liked that rule, sooo...

Visser One is a seriously attractive Yeerk. All the males think so. Now, I'll admit (though I'll have to bolt this down with a sealer gun after I'm done) that even _I _think so. But that won't stop that evil freak from being a total dapsen. She can be a sweet little grub, but as soon as you get on her bad side, the whole world goes boom and suddenly everyone hates you. I'm telling you, in some ways, Visser One has more power than even the Emperor! That freaking she-devil can brainwash you in seconds if she wants to. She looks kind of innocent at first glance, but she's actually the evil Visser One with serious firepower and incredible good looks that will eventually drive you to insanity. Trust me, I know.

... Okay, okay, I'll admit it. We've had our moments... But NEVER AGAIN, thanks to my completely restored brain functions! There was a time when I was weird, and that time has passed.

... Almost.

Besides, Visser One and I parted ways a long while ago. It was a tearful goodbye... Oh geez I'm not good at lying... But she had other places to go. Like the Yeerk home world, where she can leave all the Vissers in the Empire Building just as awestruck as the ones here! Me not included! Heh...

... Well, actually... Never mind... No wait! ... Yeah, never mind.

Heh heh... I love playing around with people's worthless minds like that. Especially Iniss. You wouldn't think that someone as annoying as he is would be so much fun to annoy...

Oh yes, and have I mentioned that Iniss is NOT ONLY very annoying, but he _also _has a very annoying obsession (Fun life, eh?)? Yeah. Iniss is obsessed -- and I mean OBSESSED in very large bolded, underlined, italic, capital letters -- with Visser One. Although, who these days _isn't _obsessed with Visser One? NO ONE, OKAY! Except of course many of the other, more unimportant females, and hey, ME! Although that's no surprise, I'm always rejected from everything, since the other forty-six Vissers' lives just simply _revolve _around Visser One! And no, I didn't calculate that wrong: It is forty-six. Visser One's life revolves around her too.

Anyway, back to Iniss's futile obsession with Miss-Yeerk-Home-World-Eight-Years-Running. It's not only annoying, it's seriously ridiculous. You think I'm exaggerating? Shall I kill you? You should freaking SEE it! Okay, Iniss has like four hundred pictures of her stuck to the wall in his room. And that's only ONE WALL! And without counting all his unadvertised pictures of Visser One as her equally attractive Yeerk self. Trust me, even we Yeerks have standards on attractiveness.

I swear Iniss possesses at _least_... uh, let's see... FIFTY pictures of Visser One in every single host she's ever had! _Including_ the time she was on serious oatmeal and infested some guy's six-year-old daughter to make him believe the kid was possessed by the devil... Long story. Though it worked. I swear that man killed himself... Well, Visser One _is _the devil, so it must not have been a very hard imitation.

Ahh Visser One! Where ARE you? I get so bored around here without you yelling my ears off… You know, it actually does seem like an eternity since I've last seen her. In many ways, that's a good thing. But for worst enemies like us, almost a year without arguing is a DAMN LONG TIME.

… And that's not the _only thing _it's been a long time for… Whoo… Do WE ever have loads of stuff to talk about. Hope you don't get bored easily! I don't, except of course of Iniss. Then again, who DOESN'T get bored of Iniss?

Just be glad you're _my _journal, and not that stupid moron's "diary number two". Lucky break for you, that one was.

Take this morning, for example. It was around three o'clock in the morning and I was sleeping soundly, like any SANE CREATURE _should _that fricking early! But then, I was awaken, quite abruptly, by a sobbing Iniss. You'll notice throughout this second recital of my phenomenally exciting life (and NO, I did NOT spin the freaking "wheel of adjectives" that those embarrassingly primitive humans have on that stupid "TV commercial") that Iniss tends to _sob _and _cry _and _bawl _and _be a stupid idiot_ an awful lot. It's almost criminal, I tell you.

Aaaanyway. Back to the Iniss-waking-me-up-at-three-o'clock-in-the-god-damn-MORNING episode.

( Iniss, what do you _want_…? ) I snapped dangerously. You don't disturb me when I'm sleeping. You just _don't_.

And then, figure this: Iniss had yet another stupid ninny excuse for an excuse ready and waiting.

" VISSER!" he yelled, and then proceeded to talking SUPER FAST. Sigh… " I was sleeping and my telecom started ringing and I was scared so I wanted to make sure I was still safe and I came here and I'm not going back there because they won't stop calling and --"

( Oh, for the Emperor's sake… ) I rolled my eyes up in my head. Why me? ( ANSWER. THE DAMN. PHONE. It's not going to _bite _you or anything. Good lords. )

" But Visser I'm scared and I --"

( Iniss, it's three o'clock in the freaking morning. I could seriously NOT care less. Now get OUT of my room. )

He just kind of stood there, perplexed, and sniffling like his life depended on it.

I threw my arms in the air exasperatedly. ( _NOW_! )

" Y-Yes Visser!" Iniss squeaked, and ran out of the room.

Now, I'll bet you have at least a _slight _idea of what my everyday life is like. Not pretty, I know. But I live with it, you know? I mean, what else can I do? Well… I could always hang myself… But that would be a waste of a perfectly amazing creature! And I _don't_ mean the Andalite!

It took me forever to get back to sleep after that, anyway. I kept remembering Visser One. I know, I'm completely retarded. I blame it on the lack of _sleep _(HUH, Iniss?).

Visser One had called me the day after she left for the Yeerk home world. We'd talked for hours, arguing mostly. As usual. I mean, why wouldn't we have spent the whole time arguing? We're worst enemies, are we not? In fact, if we _hadn't _been arguing the whole time, _that's _when I would have started worrying…

I remembered our conversation and replayed it in my mind over and over again. I think that's when I fell asleep after a while… I don't remember exactly at what point. But in any case, I fell asleep, and I dreamt.

I was dreaming of a large room, a waiting room of some sort. The walls were black all over. I remember looking around and seeing Ellie, my incredibly girly Yeerk of an intern, as if all of a sudden. She was sitting on a bench, a white bench, contrasting deeply with the darkness of the walls. She pushed away her red hair from her forehead, then saw me and smiled.

" Like, hello Visser!" she said in a typical, yet somehow faraway voice.

( Hi Ellie, ) Dream-Me replied.

Suddenly, Iniss appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing a colorful thinking cap and quite abruptly had buck teeth (Ask the dream, not me). He was crying. Wow, this could seriously be a representation of my reality.

( What's wrong, Iniss? ) I asked subconsciously. Duh, if it had been conscious I would never have been so nice!

" I can't find any water!" he sobbed.

( Water? ) I asked increduously.

" Yeah, I need water to fill up my bottle!" he exclaimed. Only then did I notice a transparent red, empty bottle in his right hand.

_Haha, don't worry. It's not going to last very long anyway._

Huh? What was… Oh, wait a minute. That was Visser One's voice. Where was she? … I spun around in all directions, but didn't see her anywhere. The voice sounded far away, as if coming from another room altogether.

_You're such an idiot, you know that?_

( Yeah, I know. ) I muttered, my voice filled with undiluted hatred.

Ellie and Iniss both looked surprised, to say the least. I guess private thought-speech doesn't exist in dreams.

" Who are you talking to, Visser Three?" Ellie asked, for once without her usual "like".

I pointed to the wall, utterly confused. ( Visser One. Didn't you hear her? )

" Visser One?" Ellie repeated, as if lost.

_It's not going to last very long…_

" Visser!" Iniss pulled on my fur and repeated, " I need some water to fill up my bottle!"

I looked at him and saw Ellie, from the corner of my eye, eyeing me strangely. Her eyes glimmered red.

Then I woke up.

Well, that was weird. To tell you the truth, it was actually kind of freaky. And not the "AHH! It's a monster!" type of freaky. I mean, "Iniss abruptly had buck teeth" freaky. In any case, the freakiness of it all made me strongly consider never eating the human delicacy that is grilled cheese before going to bed again.

Anyway.

Visser One's voice… In the dream, she'd told me that it wouldn't last long. But what wouldn't last long?

… Ahh, it's all coming back to me now. Our _telecom _conversation. I'd told her I still had about five boxes of instant maple-and-ginger oatmeal left in my cupboard. Long live the Quaker.

She'd laughed. " Haha, don't worry. Knowing you Visser Three, it isn't going to last very long anyway."

( You'd be surprised how long I can make that stuff last when I want to! ) I'd exclaimed at her underestimation of my conservation abilities.

" You're such an idiot, you know that?"

( Yeah, I know. ) I yelled. ( And you're the biggest butt-ugly dapsen ever to exist! )

" You're a waste of flesh," she spat.

( You're a waste of brain cells, ) I snapped back. ( You don't _use _them, anyway! )

I laughed interiorly. The dream was pretty much a colorful, backgrounded replay of our conversation, except with Ellie and Iniss involved. The context may have been a bit disturbing, to say the least, and I _still _have no clue where that fricking _water bottle _came from… But it's really no wonder I dreamt about that.

I fell asleep thinking about it.

And I couldn't help but wonder, even now, if things would ever get back to normal.

_Well, _I said to myself, _at least things are a _bit _more normal now… _

I smiled in my mind's eye. Yeah. Things _were _back to normal, at least the pleasant part of normal…

I mean, I already have no clue how I survived all this time _without _a diary, or a journal, or WHATEVER you want to call it! All I know is, now I have one. Now, I have a valid _excuse _to stay away from Iniss!

… Thank the _lords _I'm back!

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

* * *

**Gah! It sure does feel good to be back:P (After like two weeks, lol… at least _I _didn't have to wait almost a year!) Well, I know I'm not done Borders, but I was done this and nowhere _near _done part four of Borders, so here it is:P I know Kharina'll be happy.**

**I know… Drastically boring first chapter, but gee, aren't ALL first chapters drastically boring? ;) Please review, it DOES get much better from here. It really does! No wait! Come back!**


	2. Voran, Mary, and a Cow

**A/N: **Oh no. It's back. Well, here's the second chapter:P

**This is to "girlwhocanwritebetterthanyou":  
**(and I'm making this public because I have absolutely no respect for flamers or their dignity)

Okay, so you flamed my story. That's fine as I didn't say "no flames" in the first chapter. But if you're going to flame an author, you have to be ready to receive equally unfriendly response.

First off: What did I ever do to lie? You can't just randomly call people liars when they didn't even lie to you. I've never spoken to you in my life, so quite frankly I have no clue where you took the senseless argument that I am a liar.  
Second: I adore **Birdie num num's **story, **"Da Uber Scary Diary of Visser Three"**. HOWEVER. This story is **by no means** a copy or even SIMILAR to Birdie num num's idea. You can't just say that everyone who has "diary" fics copied Birdie, first off the first chapter of this series was written before I read that fic, and there are other diary fics, so stop attacking mine. Also, if you had read the prequel, "Visser Three's Diary", you would have found out on your own that it is not a similar story, but I guess you're either too stupid, too lazy, or simply can't read. You can't spell either. Learn to capitalize your words in reviews if you're going to tell people you can write better than them. While we're on the subject, if you can write better than me, try proving it. Thank you.

Cordially, or not, Sinister Shadow.

P.S. – This series sucks? You can think that all you want. How about asking my 183 wonderful V3D reviewers for a second opinion? (Thanks guys) Also, if you have something nice or constructive to say, then by all means do it, but if you flame me again I will simply delete your reviews. Don't need your crap dirtying my review record. Sorry.

_Dedicated to **Abomination, a.k.a. Voran One-Three-Four **on the Animorphs FanFic Lounge and the wonderful RPG site Animorphs: New Beginnings. :D Voran's character by the same name (NOT a Mary-Sue, guys) **guest-stars in this chapter**. Enjoy!_

**Note to Voran**: (chokes laughter) Seriously, I am TOTALLY sorry for COMPLETELY RUINING your character… :P This was the perfect place, I could not resist… You'll see what I mean soon enough… :P

**Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs.**

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 2_  
Voran, Mary, and a Cow**

May 2nd

Dear Journal,

The Emperor has NO life WHAT. SO. EVER.

This morning, he called me to his room in the mother ship in order to hand me release papers (as if I was in jail), and told me I was, well, released. From what, you may ask? …

Let's start at the beginning.

This morning, I woke up at around eleven. The dream, the one I had yesterday in the early hours of the morning, had happened again. I wondered once again what the hell _that _was, and then I strode off to begin my day.

When I got into the kitchen and started cooking my daily dose of oatmeal (which does NOT mean I am addicted. It really doesn't! … Fine, DON'T believe me), Ellie was just coming out of the shower. She walked out of the bathroom with a bathrobe on, a curling iron in her left hand and an energy bar in her right.

" Like, hi Visser," she greeted me in her usual, smiling way.

( Morning, Ellie. ) I replied dully, stirring my oatmeal as if it would instantly explode if I didn't.

She walked by the kitchen into the now-pinkified room I had given her for her internship, and shut the door behind her. I continued my relentless stirring. Moments later, I heard Ellie exclaim in indignation:

" Visser, there's a COW in my room."

( Hah… It's probably Edriss, ) I said with a smirk, not even flinching at the thought of a wild Earth animal in my intern's room. After all, she _had _consumed dangerous amounts of cornflakes last night before going to bed. What did she expect?

" Like, Visser, HELP!" Ellie yelled. " The cow is like, STARING at me!"

( Ellie, would you _shut up_? ) I exclaimed. ( I'm _trying _to make myself some oatmeal here! And besides, there is NO cow in your room! )

- Moooooooooooo. Moooooooooooo.

If I had had a mouth, it would have dropped right freaking open!

( I… stand corrected? ) I said, eyes wide.

I dropped the large excuse for a spatula into the pot of oatmeal and ran like there was no tomorrow to Ellie's room. But I was running so fast that I zoomed right past the door!

( God damn hooves! ) I screeched and did a freaking U-turn right there on the narrow hallway carpet.

"Like, Visser, where the hell are you going!" Ellie yelled from her room.

- MOOOOO!

" AHHHH!" Ellie shrieked. " Like, it's charging, it's CHARGING!"

I ran to the room, and suddenly noticed a piece of paper on the ground. I looked at it, and by the time I looked back up, there was the COW, running straight for me! A full-grown cow, here in my chambers! What the hell!

I skidded frantically to a halt, but too late! The cow rammed right into me, and I stumbled. My knees buckled and, out of options, I swung my tail forward… A miss!

- MOOOOOO!

" Visser Three, the like doorbell is ringing!" Ellie yelled. " Should I get it?"

( Ellie, there's a COW in the room! ) I yelled, appalled.

" So, should I?" she asked.

( … Sure, why not! ) I replied.

I heard Ellie running across the floor as I desperately tried to fend off the mad cow. I swiped again with my blade. Miss! Gah. This damn cow is aggravating me! Even writing about it pisses me off!

The cow snorted, and an almost mutantly enormous clod of COW SNOT landed on my FACE!

That. Is. The last. Straw.

I swiped again and, FINALLY, hit! Oh YAH. That's right. Visser Three saves the day again. Or, you know, at least his room. And that's good for eleven thirty in the morning.

" Visser Three!" Ellie yelled from the door.

( What? ) I snapped, as cow blood squirted all over me. Who knew that a cow's shoulder could be so squirtatious?

- MOOOO!

" It's, like, Councilor Four!" Ellie shrieked. " I told him to like, _wait_, because there's like a cow in the room."

I snorted. ( And what did Councilor Four say to that? )

" He like asked me if I had eaten your, like, cornflake reserve," Ellie giggled and I smirked.

She pretty much _had _eaten my cornflake reserve. _All _of it. And I thought Visser One was a pig.

But seriously. There was a cow in my room. WHY WAS THERE A COW IN MY ROOM? This isn't some farm land parody! It is the journal of a perfectly sane Visser! Where oh where did this infernal cow come from?

( I think we _both _ate a bit too many cornflakes, ) I muttered.

" Like, what did you say Visser?"

( Nothing, Ellie, ) I sighed. The cow pretty much passed out with a disturbing, and quite frankly scarring "MEUGHL", and I shoved it aside onto the carpet, thinking I could get Iniss to mop it up later. He probably unleashed the freaking cow in my room in the first place, so, so be it.

Wiping the vile snot off my face and thanking the lords Andalites vomit through their hooves, I galloped over to the front door of my room, where Ellie was still standing.

" Eew, Visser," Ellie commented. " You have like, snot on your nose."

( I am fully aware, _thank you_… ) I snapped. ( Now shut up. )

I opened the door and walked out into the brightly lit hallway. It didn't take long to find Councilor Four, he was standing with his back against the far wall facing my room. He curtly nodded at me and I did the same.

Councilor Four is probably the best friend I have, here in the universe. It probably helps that he doesn't run away from me like the plague. Councilor Four, real name Krader Five-Four-Nine (Now you know why he doesn't tell many people his name… aha I'm so mean), is the kind of guy who is friends with everyone. He has the admirable ability to see everyone's viewpoints, and manage to be on EVERYONE's side at once. It's almost supernatural. I mean, he manages to be on both my and Visser One's sides at the _same time_. Now _that_ takes TALENT!

" Hello, Visser Three." Krader – Hah… I mean Councilor Four said.

( Hi, Councilor Four. ) I replied, smirking like an idiot.

" What are you laughing about?" he asked, flinching. He was probably thinking,_ gee, do I _want _to know…?_

( I took down a cow! ) I said as if that was a great accomplishment.

" A cow…?" Councilor Four said, looking utterly dubious. He raised an eyebrow. " An _Earth _cow. Here on the ship."

( _Yes_, ) I sighed. Then I added, taking on a fake excitedly awed voice, ( A _real cow_! )

Suddenly, to my great surprise, Councilor Four's eyes lit up with newfound understanding.

" Oh!" he said. " That must have been the cow Councilor Three was talking about… He came running into the meeting room at like _seven o'clock_, screaming that there was a genetically processed Earth cow running loose around the mother ship. But you know, it's Councilor Three, so I kind of figured he was making things up…"

So much for being on everyone's side at once. Pfft. Well, it _is _Councilor Three. A.k.a. Mr. Loud-And-Nasal, according to Visser One and me. Not until you actually _meet_ Mr. Loud-And-Nasal can you even begin to conceive how incredibly HARD it is to _ever _be on his side. And trust me, you _don't _want to meet Mr. Loud-And-Nasal. EVER.

( Oh. Well, forget the cow, ) I said. ( What did you come here for in the first place? )

Councilor Four raised his arms to the sky. " WHAT? I'm not even allowed to visit my friends now?"

( Nope, ) I smirked.

" Thanks a _lot_, Visser Three."

( You're welcome. )

He rolled his eyes and smirked back. Only a moment later did his smirk evaporate to turn into a preoccupied glance. " Actually, there is a reason I came here…"

He hesitated.

Oh oh.

… OH OH!

( … Go on! ) I practically shrieked.

" You look like a toad," Councilor Four commented, laughing at my sudden change of facial expression.

( Councilor Four, cut the suspence already! ) I exclaimed.

Councilor Four looked pensive, and then pointed dismissively back down the hallway. " The Emperor wants to see you. Says it's important. He told me to let you know as soon as possible."

My eyes widened and I raised a slightly skeptical eyebrow.

Great. Now the _Emperor _needed to see me. The Emperor never needs to see ANYONE! What is this DAY?

… Gah… He probably wanted to give me a fine for temporary housing of a cow in my room. I refuse! I _refuse _to pay that fine! The fricking cow is all Mr. Loud-And-Nasal's fault anyway, not mine! What the hell, Emperor? Why am I always to blame for everything?

Well… it could be because of my Andalite host. Bwa. My people are so very racist…

Don't tell them I said that.

" Hello, Visser Three?" Councilor Four waved a hand in front of my eyes. " You better get moving! The Emperor said it was _very _important."

( What? ) I asked dazily, snapping abruptly out of my thoughts. I shrugged. ( Oh! Yeah, yeah. )

And so I just stood there like a complete idiot, looking at Councilor Four as if he was the Pope sent to me for guidance.

" Visser Three!" Councilor Four exclaimed.

( Huh? ) I asked innocently.

" Just GO already!"

( Oh, ) I blushed. ( Right. )

---

So I went to the Emperor's room. To tell you the truth, it was kind of exciting. I mean, NO ONE goes to the Emperor's room. No one! But somehow, he had called me in today, most probably to fine me on the offending cow incident. That alone took away some of the excitement.

But not enough to make a big difference in my behavioral issues.

I took the elevating shaft to the thirteenth floor – the Council's floor, which was, incidentally, a mere two floors above my room. Go ahead, say I'm lazy. I'm making the ecological choice. Besides, I would have looked like a huge retard taking the stairs. I was jumpy as a "popo stick", maybe more. The Emperor's room! ME! I don't mean to sound like a star-struck fangirl, but WOW!

Once the "ding" resounded and the shaft stopped, I stepped out onto the forbidden ground… The COUNCIL'S FLOOR. Seriously, I felt like a Councilor as I walked cockily across the red velvet-carpeted floor. Room 01… Shouldn't be too hard to find. Walking down the long corridor, I noticed Room 04: Councilor Four's room. As I walked right past it I realized that never before had I even _been _in this room. I remembered being in his room once, but that was on the Empire ship during the Visser-Council reunions, not on the mother ship. This room was forbidden to me unless Councilor Four invited me in. But he usually comes to my room, not the other way around. I wonder why. Maybe he has a bit of a crush on Ellie… Hah, funny thought.

I approached the end of the corridor, and only then did I realize where the Emperor's room really _was_. It was on the far wall of the hallway, creating a dead end at the very closure of the long array of closed doors. Embellished with golden paint, and glistening in the light of the artificial solar panels hanging from the ceiling abo -- … SNORE. Is my sudden poetic literature fetish annoying you too, or is it just me?

Anyway, it was a door. At the end of a hallway. Your imagination can do the rest, or at least we hope.

I smiled. Here I was, and in only a few moments I would knock on that door and enter a place where no Yeerk has gone before…

I took a step forward.

Just then, a quick blur zoomed out of a side hall and across the floor in front of me, forcing me to abruptly stop in my tracks.

( What the hell! ) I exclaimed.

The person stopped. It was a human… uh… female? I think. There was seriously no way to be certain. She… he… IT had long hair, so I assumed it must have been female.

The pretty much androgynous human looked at me apologetically.

" I am SO sorry…" it said in an extremely unpleasant voice. " The toilet would simply NOT flush, and when it finally did it went all kazooey in my face. So I ran out of there!"

It giggled. Sounded freakishly like Ellie.

( Umm… ) I blushed slightly. ( Okay. _I'm sorry_, but are you a male or a female? And tell the truth! )

The human looked offended. " Excuse me? This host is a female. Can't you tell?"

I looked _her _over. Big glasses, a nose that looked like it had been done over countless times with a human instrument called "plyers", crooked eyes, a pink necktie, masculine features, pants three sizes too big, short but still apparent facial hair, pudgy… Naah, beats me!

( I'm sorry, no. ) I said truthfully.

She snorted. " Well, this is only a replacement host anyway. My regular Hork-Bajir is undergoing treatment. But THANKS, you made me self-conscious!"

( Well… to be honest, you really should not have expected any less. )

The… person… smirked (it was a scarring thing), and stepped forward, only to trip on her own feet. " Damn shoes!" she exclaimed.

She stood up on stubby legs and dusted her pants off. As if she needed to… This is the COUNCIL'S FLOOR, people! You better believe they keep it clean and donut-free!

" My name is Voran One-Three-Four," she said, smiling and showing off the host's crooked teeth. I would not be lying if I said this was literally the most unattractive host I had ever seen. " And my Hork-Bajir host is much more attractive than this one. Her name is Calam."

( And what is this host's name? ) I asked reluctantly. Did I _want _to know? It was probably like EDWARD or something!

" Mary Sue, actually," said Voran with a bit of a chuckle. Mary Sue? That was quite a feminine name, to say the least. I wondered if the humans had a meaning for it. Maybe it really did mean "ugly, clumsy, half-androgynous human with crooked teeth"... I guess we'll never know. " It is not a very common name on Earth, it seems… Ahh well, Calam is more interesting. I wish to return to her soon… Anyway, I must go see Garoff about --"

( Excuse me? ) I exclaimed, wide-eyed. ( Garoff? As in, _the Emperor _Garoff? )

" Huh?" she asked in her pitiful excuse for a low-pitched voice. " Oh, yeah. That's him."

This was absurd! First a cow in my room, then the Emperor calling me to his ROOM, and now this! A half-hermaphrodite human woman named Mary Sue, and her Yeerk called Voran, who was also apparently on rendez-vous with the freaking Emperor!

( Well… I'm headed there as well, ) I said dully. ( Might as well be off. )

I walked off, and a few steps later broke into a trot, hoping, PRAYING that the random Yeerk was not following me. The door to the Emperor's room was only a few feet away now. Two… One…

I stopped directly in front of the Emperor's door and looked behind me. Before I even had time to THINK about sighing in relief, here came Mary Sue, gasping and leaping out of my way just in time to crash right into a side wall.

- CrrrrrAACK!

To Voran's seemingly chronic misfortune, she and her unlucky host body knocked over a mirror in the process. It fell and shattered onto the ground. Not only that, there was now a huge DENT in the wall. Good job, pudgy human!

Rolling my eyes, I rang the doorbell. Waited… waaaaaaiiited… Come on Emperor, you were expecting me! Open the damn –

The door opened, quite abruptly.

" Hello Visser Three," said a blond-haired, green-eyed human male with a punk style and who looked like he came straight out of a hurricane. This, obviously, was nothing but the body which housed our beloved Emperor. " I was expecting you."

( I know, your Excellence, ) I said respectfully. ( Councilor Four has brought me news that you would like an audience with me. )

" So I do, so I do," he said seriously. Then, suddenly, he smiled. " But first things first, Voran?"

Voran stepped out from behind me and grinned at him. " Hello, Garoff, I am back! Please, do not mind the host…"

" NONSENSE!" Garoff protested. I moved nimbly out of the way as he walked over and… hugged her?

… Did I miss something here?

He separated and beamed at Voran. " Go on inside and wait for me, I have to give Visser Three some very important news. It should not take long."

I felt my blood turn to ice. Was I being demoted? Oh my lords, was I really being demoted because of a COW?

Voran smiled at the Emperor and walked inside his room, shutting the door behind her. The Emperor looked aside for a moment, then concentrated his gaze on me.

I braced myself.

" Well, Visser Three," he sighed, and dare I say actually muffled a chuckle! The little dweeb! " I don't know if this will be good news or bad news, but…"

I clenched my eyes shut and tried not to let him notice. This was it…

" … You've been transferred to the Yeerk home world," the Emperor finished.

I opened my eyes. Very suddenly.

( The HOME WORLD? ) I exclaimed, feeling the horror already. ( Oh god. No. Surely there is some sort of -- )

The Emperor pulled a couple of sheets out of his pocket and handed it to me, causing me to remain speechless. " Here are your transfer papers. Release papers, if you will. Do not lose them as you will be unable to gain access to the planet surface without them."

_What makes you think I _want _to gain access to the planet's surface? _I thought to myself in exasperation.

" You'll be leaving in two days, so plan accordingly," he said. He smiled at me and walked to his room. He opened the door and walked inside, where the red floor carpet continued still. But before he could lock me out of his existence completely, I objected.

( Can I at least know _why _I'm being transferred there? ) I asked.

The Emperor looked at me enigmatically, as if trying to decipher my thoughts.

_It won't be that bad, you'll see, _I tried to convince myself. _You're going home. How bad can that be?_

_Home…? _I countered. _You've seen the place once. How can it be home?_

I actually had to think on that one for a second. Why _was _it home? It was a place I was not even familiar with, and yet I now called it home? Why was it so important to me?

_It just is, _I finally concluded.

The Emperor half-smiled again. It showed he was getting annoyed of my very presence, but I was not leaving this hallway without an answer!

" Just _go_, Visser Three." the Emperor said.

I sighed, admitting defeat. " Yes, sir."

And then I turned around and walked back down the hallway toward my room, where hopefully there was no longer a mad, bleeding cow.

Unless someone had given it to Iniss to take care of, of course. Now _that_ would definitely not matter as much.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

* * *

**I know, VERY random. What did you think? Please review, anyway! And don't forget, no flames. :) Though please tell me if there's stuff I need to improve!**

**Till next time!**

(Side note: Traycon, I fixed the typos. :) Thanks for telling me!)


	3. Go Home

**FOR THE LAST TIME, I do NOT own Animorphs! Geesh!**

**A/N:** Hehehe… Hi guys:3

**Visser Three's Journal**_  
_(Rated 14+)

**_Chapter 3_**  
**Go Home.**

May 4th.

Dear Journal,

I was in a ship.

VERY early this morning, I had carefully packed all my belongings – from half-eaten packs of oatmeal to Ellie's pink stuff to boxers for my human morph (Hey. You never know when you're going to need a pair of nice boxers.) – and now, myself AND my belongings had been stowed away in my Blade ship, ready to go…

… On an EIGHT-HOUR, FUN-FILLED space trip with my personal assistant Iniss, Ellie the intern, and JOE! … Okay, so his name isn't really Joe. But he's a Taxxon-Controller named Xjibrzed, and he _refuses _to tell me his Yeerk name, so there you go, Mister Taxxon! Your name's _Joe _now. What? Did you REALLY expect me to be able to pronounce Xjizi… Xjibri… XJIBRIZ… Oh _never _mind!

Anyway. An eight-hour trip. On a Blade ship. To the Yeerk home world.

With INISS.

… Someone please shoot me before I DIE of BOREDOM in this hellhole!

And what a destination! I was going to the Yeerk home world, and for what? I didn't even KNOW because the Emperor was too stupid to TELL me. But one thing I did know was that once there, I would be inevitably reunited with Councilor Eight, and of course the main meddler herself, Visser One. I had to resist strangling myself to avoid the PAIN. But of course, Iniss was officially Hyperman Extraordinaire at the thought of retrieving his little worshipee.

" Oh my lords oh my lords oh my LORDS Visser!" he screamed, jumping up and down on my bed in euphoria. " We're going to see Visser One! We're going to see Visser One! Aren't you HAPPY?"

Oh for the Emperor's SAKE, SHOOT THE _DOG_! …

( Apparently, _you_ are… ) I said dully, gazing out the window at the starry sky. The stupid starry sky. Why couldn't I just have stayed on the fricking MOTHER SHIP, where everyone lived in peace and harmony! …

( Iniss, get out of my room. ) I snapped.

" But Visser, WHY?" asked a very sullen Iniss.

( Because we've only been gone for _fifteen minutes _and ALREADY you're driving me up the wall. )

Disappointed and sad, Iniss got off my bed and dragged his feet all the way out into the hall, glumly carrying his half-empty bag of VERY outdated chips in his left hand.

( Close the god damn door! ) I yelled.

Iniss dragged his feet back to my doorframe and pressed the close button. The door slid to a close, and I was finally able to relax…

I took a spray bottle from an easy-access pocket on a small luggage bag and frantically sprayed all the disgusting Iniss germs off of my beloved bed. When I was done, I lay down on the fluffy bed in my room on the Blade ship, and decided…

… Hey, we have eight hours… It won't hurt to take a little snooze…

---

" _I can't find any water!" Iniss sobbed._

_( Water? ) I asked increduously. _

" _Yeah, I need water to fill up my bottle!" he exclaimed. Once again, I noticed the red bottle in his hand, only this time it was cracked and broken. _

Haha, don't worry. It's not going to last very long anyway.

_( What isn't going to last? ) I asked Visser One's voice while I looked in vain for its source._

This. All of it.

I looked around, and my eyes set on Ellie. Oh no… oh no… I tried to close my eyes but Dream-Me wouldn't obey. I couldn't help but look on as Ellie's eyes glimmered red, a deeply disturbing expression settling in her gaze.

" Like, Visser, wake up!"

I jerked awake at the touch of Ellie's hand, cold Andalite sweat matting my fur. I spun my stalk eyes around and looked at her. Green eyes. Ditsy expression.

Phew…

" Like… ew, Visser," Ellie said, shaking her hand in disgust. " Do you need some like, antiperspirant or something?"

I felt my cheeks turn blue. I know, they're already blue… DARKER blue, you moron.

" My stomach is HUGE," Ellie said quite irrelevantly.

( Is THAT why you woke me up? ) I exclaimed in indignation.

Ellie laughed wholeheartedly, fixed a bright pink pompom on her equally pink sweater, and beamed at me. " Oh no, Visser. The like, PEOPLE want you to wake up now, because we're like almost there."

I LEAPED out of my bed and onto the warm-carpeted floor, just dripping joy. ( We ARE? ) I asked. ( … Well, good, good. Why don't you get your things ready, and _mine too_, as a matter of fact, and we shall be off! )

Ellie raised an eyebrow at me. Was she refusing to pack my things? Was she really so lazy a Yeerk? I simply REFUSED to believe it! Where did I go wrong, huh? _WHERE_?

( Ellie? ) I said sweetly. ( … NOW. )

Ellie frowned, belched out a very aristocratic "HMMPH!", spun around, and dramatically stormed away into her room, muttering to herself.

Too many commas in that sentence, I know.

I sat on my bed and looked out the window. There was the familiar black, star-studded sky…

But no Yeerk home world.

( Ellie? ) I asked dubiously.

" Yeah?" she called out from her room.

( Are you _sure _we're almost there? )

" Yes, Visser, I'm sure. Just, like, look out the window."

( I am looking out the window. )

" Well, like, look closer!" she snapped.

( Ellie! ) I exclaimed. ( You'd think I would _notice _a damn PLANET! )

" Oh. Well, you like never know, Visser! Iniss wouldn't!"

( How DARE you compare me to that meddling fool? )

I heard a door close, and I spun around to face a very exasperated Ellie.

" Visser… That window points to the _back _of the ship." She looked at me as if I was beyond help.

( Oh. ) I blushed. ( … Oops? )

Ellie just stared.

( Stop looking at me and get back to work, low-rank! ) I snapped angrily, appalled by the intense disobediance present in this female.

Ellie stuck out her tongue snobbishly at me (A _reeeeaaal_ Visser One clone, this one…) and walked back into her room.

As for me, still embarrassed, I took a nice morning (Afternoon? Evening? NIGHT?) stroll down to the window in the main room for a FRONTAL view outside the ship… boy am I stupid sometimes.

As soon as I gazed out into the pitch black sky, I saw it. A beautiful, green-shaded planet, streaked by bolts of lightning and gray-green tints and – alright, maybe _beautiful_ isn't exactly the word I was looking for.

We were closer that I had pictured, at first. My Blade ship's computer was just turning on the landing lights as we shot at full speed through the planet's atmosphere only moments later. Soon, we would land. I thought about going to help Ellie pack the rest of the cargo onto the luggage belt, but I figured, _hey, we'll be staying here for a while… we'll just bring the important stuff, i.e. MY stuff, and come back for the "seconds", i.e. _Ellie's _stuff, later._

Satisfied with this plan, I smiled to myself as I slowly walked to the ramp and prepared to exit. Iniss joined me a few moments later, followed by an exhausted-looking Ellie, just as the computer announced: 

- Preparing for landing. Please secure all inanimate objects of your belonging onto the cargo belt and prepare to exit the ship. Thank you and have a nice day.

I don't know WHO programmed Yeerk technological computers to wish everyone on the freaking ship a nice day EVERY. FIVE. SECONDS, but I swear to the lords it has GOT to stop. I felt a slight impact, softened by the compensators of course, as the ship landed on the Yeerk homeworld's rough terrain. _You're home, Visser Three, _I thought to myself with a bittersweet sigh as the ramp slid open and I walked out of the ship, into the world beyond. I think Iniss's bad excuse for a poetic mind is starting to rub off on me. --- 

" Welcome, Visser, to the Empire Building," a Hork-Bajir guard said, smiling at me in that gritty, toothy, disgusting Hork-Bajir way.

The Empire Building. I practically wet myself right then and there! Every Yeerk DREAMS of going inside the Empire Building. Even me, hihi! … No, I'd never been in it. But now I was about to set foot in the luxurious, high-rank-only, human "luxury hotel" styled building that made the Yeerk home world what it was. It was a super-luxurious, twenty-three-floored residence for the high-ranking Yeerks of the Empire's hierarchy: The top ten Sub-Vissers, the Vissers, and of course the Council of Thirteen. A room was reserved for every member of the group. Even me, although never before had I set foot in my Building room.

I looked up in well-supressed awe at the long array of windows lining the height of the Empire Building. My first thought, surprisingly enough, was that I should get inside, find Visser One, and have a long overdue fight.

LONG overdue.

There would be some blood. And bruises. Many bruises. And much blood…

Yes…

" Like, where are we?" Ellie snapped me abruptly from my devious thoughts.

( Oh! … Ahh, the Empire Building. ) I snapped dismissively. ( We'll be staying here. And unfortunately, we all have to share a room. So Iniss, no talking, and Ellie, no whining. )

" YEEESSS, VIIIIISSER!" Iniss talked.

" Like, fiiine…" Ellie whined.

This was going to be a _long _stay in the Empire Building, I reckoned…

" Are you going to enter the building, Visser?" the guard asked politely.

( Yes, actually I AM. ) I snapped, and walked in. The _nerve _of these people! Can't even stand outside anymore without getting bitched at by a Hork-Bajir! ( And hardy-har for you, you get to stand out here in the raiii-hain! )

Ignoring further comments by the offensive Hork-Bajir, I walked inside the building and found myself strolling down a long, red-floored corridor. At the end of this corridor was, of course, the main lobby of the building. Upon entry of the luxurious lobby, the first thing I noticed was a slim, but well-built human-hosted male with short, silky-looking brown hair and training gear chatting pleasantly with the receptionist, who was sitting behind his gigantic kitchen island of a reception desk.

( You two go upstairs to wait for the cargo, ) I told Iniss and Ellie. ( It is Room Double-Zero-Three on floor twenty-one. )

I gave Iniss a fish eye.

( I'm guessing you can _remember _that, you worthless _garshnit_? ) I snapped.

Iniss and Ellie didn't say a word. They figured I was not in the best of moods, and decided to avoid the storm and simply do as I say. I watched them as they disappeared down a side hall, heading toward the public ascension shafts.

" So I was wondering if we could get some extra gauze charges?" the male dressed in training gear suggested happily. " A friend of mine hurt his ankle while running."

Oh great. A _gentleman. _There goes my daily portion of Anda-grass.

The guy behind the counter smiled and handed him about TEN gauze charges. He said something in reply, too, but I wasn't paying attention.

As soon as Training Gear got the gauze charges in his hands, he waved the guy a thank you and started back toward another side hallway. _The training room, no doubt. _

I followed him.

( Excuse me, ) I said forcefully.

Training Gear turned around and smiled at me. WOW. Not to sound gay or anything, but HE was handsome! He looked better than Councilor Eight, I swear to the lords! … Wonder what his rank was. Wouldn't it be funny if Councilor Eight got bested by a Sub-Visser? Well, a Sub-Visser who is _incredibly _good-looking – okay, how about I just stop here before you get scarred for life?

ANYWAY.

" Well, Visser Three, right?" Training Gear asked with a secretive smile. " Nice to meet you. Did you need anything?"

( Um… ) I tried not to blush. ( Actually, I was looking for Visser One. Would you know where she may be? )

Training Gear's eyes widened. " Yeah!" he said. " She's training. I'm going to the room right now, if you'd like to follow."

I shrugged and nodded, galloping up to join him.

" It's just a few rooms away," he said. " But tell me… are you and Visser One friends?"

( Nah. Worst enemies, actually. )

Training Gear looked puzzled, but I suppose he decided not to ask. " Oh. Nice…"

We walked a few more feet, and then Training Gear pointed to a room two doors away.

" There it is," he smiled, running the last few steps and walking into the room.

I followed, once again, and peered into the room.

I saw Councilor Eight running, and thankfully he didn't see me. But when I saw Visser One, for the first time in such a long time, running to catch up with him, I couldn't help but let out a thought-spoken ( Visser One! )

Visser One turned back and looked at me. Her eyes widened and her face contorted into an expression of disgust.

" Visser… _Three_?" she exclaimed, not at all thrilled.

But I was not answering. For I too was not at all thrilled…

( Visser One! ) I stared in utmost shock. ( What did you DO? )

Oh God. What… _What _had Visser One done to her –

" What do you mean, what did I do?"

I pointed at the disgusting THING. She looked at my half-shaking finger and nodded.

" Oh, that." she said, waving her hand dismissively. " Yes, so? Do you not _like _it?"

( … NO! ) I shrieked.

I was in shock. I was in _horror_! The first time I see Visser One in a YEAR, and THIS is how she GREETS me?

No, seriously…

… What had she DONE?

_**To be continued…**_

* * *

**Yep. I know. A cliffie. AND a shortie:P**

**Sue me.**

**Now please review!**


	4. The Acts of Being Replaced

_Dedicated to **XxaRchaNgLexX **for making my DAY with her newCloset Fan story. To **Quillian **for also integrating CF in his 10th-year anniversary ficlet. Thanks guys:D_

_And to **Ember Nickel**, for ITs chapter dedication to me in "The Pursuit". Enjoy!_

**Visser Three's Journal**

**PG-13**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs.**

**Chapter 4: The Acts of Being Replaced**

Continued from Chapter Three… 

… I looked at Visser One again, simply not believing it. My eyes were wide. My nose was wide. My nonexistant mouth was wide. Even my STOMACH was wide! But that, of course, was simply a side effect of Alloran's intestinal problems.

Visser One.

What have you done to your HAIR?

" Why are you gaping at me like Iniss, you dapsen?" she said in her ever-so-incomprehensibly-Yeerkish-accented voice, barely hiding a smirk. She flipped her hair back and I nearly closed my eyes in pain.

( Your HAIR! ) I nearly yelled in desperation. I reached out to touch the, uh… tufts. In moderate disbelief. ( Your… interestingly long hair! … What have you _done_ to it? )

" I cut it, you dufus!" Visser One exclaimed snappishly. I looked again. She'd _cut _it alright! Even INISS could figure that out! You know, considering that her previously lower-back-length silky black hair now stopped to rest just over her curved shoulders.

( I can SEE that. ) I said, disappointed. If there was one thing I had loved about Visser One, it was that amazingly silky, long hair of hers! ( But WHY would you do such a thing? )

" Because I _wanted _to," she snapped, glaring at me. " Long hair is a nuisance for military business. Now what the _hell _are you DOING here?"

I frowned. ( … _Unfortunately_, ) I drawled. ( I got ASSIGNED here. By the Emperor. So unless you want your head chopped off, you're just going to have to put up with me! )

I smirked. Ohh, how fun it was to annoy her… Hehe.

Visser One just grimaced and gave me a slight fish-eye. " Right, Visser Three. Just stay away from me and we'll all be fine."

She started to walk away, returning to her training. Another Visser waved over at her to go join their group, and she marched off in their direction.

( I would not want to be anywhere _near _you, Visser One! ) I called back in frustration. ( You disgusting _dapsen_! )

… Why did I want to come back here again? Seriously. I had been here less than an hour, and already I could feel the incredible hatred seeping back into my blood, coursing through my veins…

Visser One tripped, probably on her own feet, and tumbled onto the ground. She rolled and landed on her back, winded for a moment. That guy from a while ago, the handsome one dressed in flamboyant training gear, ran over to help her up. He leaned down and touched the tip of her nose with his index finger. At my angle, I saw him smile at her, and the corners of her mouth lifted into an inevitable, shy grin. She looked up at him and he took her arm and lifted her up to her feet.

" You be careful now," with a not-so-sincere sternness he smirked again. " We don't want our Vissers getting hurt."

" I slipped," Visser One snapped icily as her smile faded. Bad move there mister… Visser One hates to be perceived as weak or clumsy. She thinks she is the most graceful think to ever have _graced _(forgive the pun) the universe.

… Pfft. Ohhh lords, Visser One can just crack you up like nothing else sometimes!

Training Gear laughed wholeheartedly, which of course made Visser One absolutely TWITCH in rage.

" You don't have to be so mean with me, Visser One," he said almost teasingly. " I was just trying to help. You don't like help?"

" Not from the likes of you, _Councilor Two_," Visser One sneered. " News flash: You AREN'T the best thing that ever happened to this species. And the reason I tripped is probably because _you _were sweating all over the floor."

Ouch. Burn. Sounds like something she would say to _me_.

… Wait.

It DID sound like something she would say to me!

… Councilor Two, huh?

( Now, now Visser One… ) I sneered, stepping up to the feuding pair. ( Just because you have the aim of an Earth bear with its eyes pierced out and have lost your touch, does not mean you have to take it out on respectful Councilors. Where have you learned your manners? )

" Not from you, that's for sure…" Visser One snapped.

( … Is it that time of the month again? ) I asked, just DRIPPING fake understanding.

" Actually, NO!" Visser One exclaimed, going red. What the hell was her problem today, anyway? She pushed me futilely toward the sidelines of the training gym. As if a human can move an Andalite warrior. But I went along with it, in hopes of asking her WHAT exactly had peed in her cornflakes this morning.

( Visser One, WHAT is your problem? ) I asked privately. ( Why must you always be so very unpleasant? )

" HE is my problem!" she raged. " He thinks he's the greatest, most amazing, most wonderful Yeerk male on the damn planet! He is so stuck-up it isn't even amusing!"

( Wait a second. ) I stopped her. ( You're saying _he's _your problem? As in, _I'm _not your problem? )

" AMAZINGLY, you are actually not as bad as he is right now!" Visser One snapped.

Hold it! Hooooooooold it, Visser One! Am I being replaced here? What the hell did Councilor Two think he was _doing_, being stuck-up with Visser One? _I _am her worst enemy! _I _have those special priviledges. And she only accepts that from ME! … Or does she?

… Come to think of it, who cares? Who needs her? She can burn in hell for all I care, and go and join her little mate-ee, Essam Two-Nine-Three, whom she so deeply looooooves… Blech. It sickens me that our top Visser has herself succumbed to a futile human emotion. Can you imagine lower Vissers? Sub-Vissers? … My twin brother? Heh, my twin brother is officially the lowest-ranking Yeerk in the Empire after he was caught performing so-called "experiments" on a Hork-Bajir-Controller, not to mention the VERY disturbing consuming of fellow Yeerks… The shame, the shame.

Makes you wonder what our Empire is coming to.

Visser One walked back to Councilor Two and right past him. He gave her a blazing look. Oh no… He didn't feel so fondly about her either, now did he? Well THIS is great. This is just the fricking PIE IN THE SKY, now isn't it?

… I need a day job. Maybe something not involving handsome, stuck-up Councilors and seeing my worst enemy's ugly face. Yeah, that'll work.

" Okay everyone!" Councilor Two called. Obviously, since the Emperor was nowhere in sight, he was the one in charge of this session. " Let's start combat. Pick a partner, and let's get started. Visser One? With me?"

" Pfft, you wish." Visser One said, raising an eyebrow. " I'm with…" she looked around at all the hopeful males. And the few snickering dorks in the corner.

She sighed.

" … Okay, so I'm with you," she conceded in defeat.

Councilor Two smirked. " I bet you _suck _at combat."

" Excuse me?" Visser One said, smirking back. " We'll just see about that, won't we now?"

Councilor Two whistled and everyone got into position on the mats. I watched as Visser One tied her newly-destroyed hair into a tiny ponytail and placed herself in front of Councilor Two. When he whistled again, indicating the start of the match, Visser One literally _attacked _him, blocking nimbly with her arms and using body strength techniques she'd picked up during her years as a Visser. Visser One was far from the best at combat (Dracon beam maneuvering was her true skill: I'd lied in saying she had a bad aim), but by watching his reaction, I could tell Councilor Two was at least mildly impressed. He dodged her blows easily in most parts, but she did manage to stump him a few times. Evidently though, Councilor Two was the better fighter. In the third minute, he winded her so hard with a blow from both his fists that she collapsed onto the ground and stayed there, her fists and eyes clenched tightly in pain.

At three minutes thirty seconds, Councilor Two whistled to indicate the end of the match. The Councilor had won, of course. As everyone headed to the benches for a break and a drink, Councilor Two stepped up to Visser One and held out his hand to help her up. She slapped his hand away in rage, being the incredible sore loser she is.

" I don't need your help!" she raged.

" That was a good fight, Visser One," Councilor Two advised in hishigh-and-mighty manner, ignoring her badly-intended remark. " But there are some techniques you could improve on. If you'd like, I could show them to you."

" No thanks," Visser One spat icily, getting up and clutching her injured stomach. " My stomach hurts. I think I'm going to go sleep it off."

She turned her back on him and stormed out of the room, still in her training suit and evidently not taking the time to change. My stalk eyes followed her with a hateful glare until she turned around the corner of the hallway and out of my field of vision.

" Wow. She is some _jokran_…" Councilor Two said to me.

I turned around and nodded at him. He UNDERSTOOD! ( Yes! She is! Welcome to my world! )

Councilor Two laughed. " I actually think it's kind of cute how you two hate each other so much."

( It is not CUTE, ) I said, offended. ( We are worst enemies! Visser One is a disgusting, pathetic creature, and apparently I am the _only one_ who treats her how she deserves to be treated. And she deserves to be treated BADLY! )

I glared smoulderingly at Councilor Two, while really meaning the angry look for the image of Visser One, grossly cut hair and all, still in my mind. The Councilor just shrugged.

" Meh… I think Councilor Four has a crush on her."

( Pfft! ) I exclaimed. That was the _biggest _LOAD of tripe I had ever heard in my life! ( And _what _makes you say that? )

" I don't know, he's just on her side in EVERYTHING."

( Councilor Four is on everyone's side for everything. )

" … Not _mine_!"

I nodded curtly, beaming politely. ( And there is most _definitely _a reason for that. )

Thankfully, he did not understand exactly where I was going with that comment.

" How do you know Councilor Four, anyway?" he asked.

( Duh. He's _only _the most popular Yeerk male ever. He's friends with _everyone_, including me. And that's saying something. )

" Oops, wrong!" Councilor Two smiled with thousands of brilliant white teeth! (Okay… like twenty-nine… but still, SOMEONE uses "Crest WhiteStrips"…) " The most popular Yeerk male is actually… me!"

( Okay, pardon my Galard, ) I said, ( but stop god damn flattering yourself! )

" No, it's true!" Councilor Two nodded briskly. " Hehe… I rock."

And then… get this… he pulls out this month's edition of EMPIRE magazine! The Yeerk equivalent of "People"!

As I watched in hair-raising, agonizing disgust, Councilor Two turned snobbishly to page fifty-two and fifty-three, where lay two identical lists, one on each page. Leaning forward, I read the titles of both articles.

"_Top Ten Most Popular Yeerk Males"_

"_Top Ten Most Popular Yeerk Females"_

( … Is this some sort of non-humorous joke? ) I demanded.

" Of COURSE not!" Councilor Two exclaimed, seeming genuinely insulted. " This thing is SACRED! You must not offend thee!"

I laughed. Hey, he was trying to be funny, right? … At least I hope… God I hope… I mean, it wasn't exactly comedian material, but you have to be respectful of higher-ranking Empire personnel. Something Visser One has never fully understood.

" Go on, read it!" Councilor Two said, and I obeyed, almost against my freaking will…

"_Top Ten Most Popular Yeerk Males:_

_1: Councilor Two _(to the side, there was a picture of Councilor Two that would make any female squeal, and any sane male screaming for the hills) _– This handsome Councilor has proved his popularity amongst the Yeerk community through various events, including VIP invites to every community event this cycle. Kind and social, Councilor Two knows how to have a good time in any situation."_

( Oh god. ) I said. ( You have GOT to be kidding me. There actually IS a most popular Yeerk list? )

" Well _YAH_!" Councilor Two exclaimed.

( Oooookay… ) I said. I decided, after that, to simply keep my mouth shut around psycho people.

My eyes skimmed the list… Councilor Four was in second place. Visser Four, in fifth. I noticed him right away thanks to his screwed-up kablooey of a side picture. His eyes were just _slightly_ bloodshot, and his hair was slicked back like nothing I'd ever seen.

I decided to NOT read the article… Good idea, Visser Three.

Instead, my eyes zoomed up the list and landed on number three…

OH.

OH LORDS NO.

It was… it was…

Blond hair. "I've-been-surfing-and-picking-up-females-all-day" smirk on his face. Nice and tanned, just the way Visser One likes it. And especially… _especially _that god damn shirt.

Councilor Eight.

I could not resist: I read it. I read it ALL!

"_3: Councilor Eight – The hunk of the Council room, Councilor Eight has chosen a host perfectly apt for his flamboyant personality _(how about we replace "flamboyant" with "voluptuous" here?)_: Young, charming and always smiling. Posters of him hang on walls everywhere."_

( Well, _that _was disturbing… ) I commented to no one.

" What was disturbing?" Councilor Two asked, looking over my shoulder.

( The realization that Councilor Eight is actually third most popular Yeerk male in the Empire. )

Councilor Two laughed wholeheartedly. He has an irritating habit of doing that. " Hehe! That's my brother!"

( Hehehe… ) I started. Then it hit me. ( … Wait… WHAT? )

" What, what?" he snapped, losing his patience.

( COUNCILOR EIGHT is your BROTHER? ) I exclaimed. Oh lords… The world is over! This MUST be an omen. There was no other explanation!

" Uh… yeah?" Councilor Two suggested. " What is the problem?"

( Um, that _Councilor Eight _is your brother? ) I simply could not believe it. I couldn't!

So I wouldn't. Not for now, at least. Besides, I was getting awfully tired of handsome, Most-Popular Councilor Two for one day.

( You know what? ) I said, feeling just a bit sick. ( … I'm feeling a bit under the weather from the long trip. I think I'm going to go rest in my room for a bit. )

Councilor Two shrugged and smirked. " Suit yourself!"

I nodded and walked outside the training room, still not believing my own ears.

… But then again, maybe all this is just a dream. I mean, you never really know, do you?

You can only hope…

---

Too lazy to just take the drop shaft up to my room (if that makes ANY sense), I galloped up TWENTY FLOORS OF STAIRS. I know, I am terribly stupid. But let me tell you right now, when you finally GET to the twenty-first floor on stairs, the feeling is so much better!

… Plus, the stairs were closer.

The twenty-first floor of the Empire Building was dedicated to the top twenty Vissers. It was beautifully furnished and decorated to make for a lavish setting, very comfortable in which to live. The hallways were wide, the activity rooms were huge, and we even had our own private JET TUB saloon! Does that beat the mother ship or WHAT!

The floors of the corridors leading to room 003 (My room: they are numbered according to the Visser's rank) was soft and blue-carpeted, and the walls were of a smooth, orange metal. As I finally arrived at the deluxe Vissers-One-to-Five branch of the floor and turned around the corner, I realized with a bang that once again, Visser One and I would be next-door neighbors… since the rooms here are zigzagued, as in 001 on one side of the wall, then 002 facing 001, then 003 next to 001, 004 facing 003, etc., there was no escaping the fact that just like on the Empire ship, Visser One's and my rooms would be simply FAR too close for comfort…

It seems that nothing has changed after all.

Standing in front of door number three, I pressed in my new room code. The code was '_53520_'. Not so hard to remember, really… I would get used to it.

- _Code correct, _a computerized voice told me as the door slid open to allow my passage.

" VIIIIIIIIIIIIISSERRR!" Iniss yelled very suddenly, leaping toward me.

( YAAAAH! ) I exclaimed, surprised. I dodged away angrily, almost peeing myself.

I glared at Iniss, who immediately looked down to the ground.

( … _IN_! ) I practically screamed, pointing firmly to the door.

" But Visser, do you want some candy?" Iniss beamed, backing up in a quivering fashion toward the door. " Or some cheese quesidillas? Ellie is actually a PRO CHEF, Visser! And-and-and-and--"

( Just SPIT IT OUT already! ) I yelled.

" And-and we invited Visser One to try them, and-and-and-and she actually DID!"

( For the Emperor's sake Iniss, you sound like a cassette gone bonkers. ) I said disapprovingly. ( Learn to ARTICULATE before I attack you with a dictionary! … And _please _tell me you did not let Visser One lay her germs all over my things. )

" Oh no…" Iniss smiled. " I made sure to put a kleenex under her butt before she sat anywhere."

I glared at him for long moments… but concluding at last that he would never, EVER learn, I stepped nimbly across the threshold and into the room beyond.

Visser One was sitting on the couch, eating cheese quesidillas like there was no tomorrow.

I swear, it was almost as if she had never left!

" See, look!" Iniss said in a probably accidental stage whisper. " See the small white protrusion under her?" He squealed and snickered like a low-rank. " It's a KLEENEX!"

I rolled my eyes. ( Shut up and get to work on those dishes! )

" What dishes?" Iniss inquired. " We just got --"

( FIND some. )

" … Yes, Visser…" Iniss obeyed, hanging his head.

I glared at Visser One. She smirked and glared back.

" Yew dapshhen," she attempted to say with practically an entire quesidilla in her mouth.

… Okay. So I _wasn't _being replaced. Visser One obviously still thought of me as her worst enemy. I mean, why wouldn't she? I may not be as _popular _as Councilor Two, but I can be more irritating than him any day!

And what better day than today?

I walked up to Visser One and messed up her hair with my Andalite hand. She gave me an annoyed look.

( You should never have cut your hair. ) I taunted. ( Now you'll never hear the end of it. )

" Touch my hair again, and you'll never hear the end of your pathetic Andalite bones breaking!" she snapped.

( I guess we'll see, huh? ) I glared.

" I guess we'll see," she glared back.

Then I turned to Ellie. ( Hey, could I have one of those? )

" Like, sure Visser!" Ellie giggled.

And we both went back to our daily affairs: Visser One eating things like a madwoman, and me ordering people around.

And I guess none of it will ever change. _None_ of it… But it can't hurt to dream, right?

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

* * *

**Please review!**


	5. Genderless?

**IMPORTANT A/N:** "Hey, K. A.! I just have one question, but PLEASE answer my letter! Are there male or female Yeerks? Or is there three genders, because when three join, there could only be 3 or 1, right?  
Thanks!  
-Mike M."

"Hi, Mike:  
Nope, Yeerks have only one gender. They are neither male nor female. Which is perhaps why they have invented neither the La-Z-Boy recliner nor the 25 off sale.  
–KAA"

… Do you realize what this means? My Yeerk reproduction theory! My… pretty much EVERYTHING concerning Yeerks in the Diary or the Journal has been completely thrown into the trash when we over at **The Animorphs FanFic Lounge** discovered, officially, that the Yeerks are genderless.

At first I was shocked! Paralysed! Wondering what the HECK I would do with my fics! AND WITH CLOSET FAN!

:) … Here was my reply on AFFL: "... But really, it wouldn't matter would it? If the Yeerks are genderless, it would be perfectly normal for three Yeerks to have affection for each other without genders. There wouldn't be such a thing as gay people or slash either, since having the same gender for them is NORMAL! Basically, they just kind of choose their genders through their hosts... Hmm, it really does make sense and it could make sense with my stories. Still, my whole V3D-and-Controller reproduction theory has been pretty much thrown into the deep blue sea now. Still I can't remember if I ever EXPLAINED my theory in V3D... Well, I still think it's funner when they have genders, but they could be genderless in my fics while keeping the "male", "female" aspect since they simply choose their gender through their hosts..."

I thought I would have to rework every single one of my fics.

But then, I thought of THIS idea. :)

Hope you enjoy!

**

* * *

**

**"Visser Three's Journal"**

**Chapter 5  
****... Genderless?**

May 6th.

Dear Journal,

This morning, "celebrating" my third droning month – I mean _wonderful DAY _in the Empire Building, I woke up quite abruptly.

Actually, I woke up to Ellie practically whacking me with a frying pan, but that's… actually NOT beside the point.

" Like, VISSER. Wake. Up!" Ellie pretty much screamed into my ear.

I opened my eyes and saw her, her red hair in an indescribable mess, looking both scared and concerned.

( Ellie, it's ONLY… ) I shot a look at my clock and frowned again. ( … Noon! By the Kandrona itself, won't you let me SLEEP? )

For the umpteenth time this week, I seriously considered deadbolting my bedroom door.

And Ellie did not budge.

I sighed.

( Ellie, what do you want? ) I finally conceded.

Ellie grimaced. " Do Andalites have pimples?"

( _Tell _me you did not wake me up for the SOLE PURPOSE of asking me that. )

" Well…" Ellie considered. " Actually, I wanted to know if you wanted your eggs boiled or scrambled."

( NEITHER! ) I exclaimed. ( It's NOON! I want my OATMEAL! )

Ellie raised a tired eyebrow and strode outside into the hallway with an exasperated groan.

" By the way, Visser, the like, _New Yeerk Times _is here," Ellie called.

Gah. The _New Yeerk Times_. The Yeerk Empire's daily newspaper. _Eeeeeveryone _gets it. Trust me, if I COULD unsubscribe from the evil thing, I WOULD.

( That's… just great, ) I said, trying _not _to sound like an overtired ninety-year-old human on menopause.

But really. GAH. Who – well, besides Iniss… and Councilor Eight. And his gagworthy brother, Councilor Two. And Councilor Seven, and Visser Four, and – okay, why don't I just stop now before I prove my own point wrong?

Anyway, WHO wants to see Visser One's ugly, mushroom-shaped face in the newspaper EVERY DAY under headlines like "Visser One does it again" (forgive the pun, Councilor Eight), "Visser One finds second possible Class Five species", "Visser One has a Hork-Bajir nose" (Okay, so the last one was me… so what?)…

You get what I mean. Terrible things to depress a great but moody Visser such as myself. What about ME, _New Yeerk Times_? What have I ever done to YOU? … Where is the LOVE?

Ahem.

In fact, I was SO certain that Visser One would be, yet again, the star of the _Times_'s front page, that I decided to impose a little deal on Ellie… Heh…

( Ellie, ) I droned. ( If I get this wrong, you don't have to do Iniss's laundry today. )

" And like, if you get it right?" Ellie asked, immediately sensing the trick.

Aha, such a smart Yeerk, this one. Unlike Iniss, who would simply have not fallen but JUMPED, _LEAPED _into the trap… ( If I get it right, you have to not only wash Iniss's laundry, but you also have to clean my room. ) Hey, it would save me the job, right? Mwaha, I am BAD! ( Deal? )

" Wait." Ellie said sternly. " You said I like, wouldn't have to wash Iniss's totally gross clothes?"

( If I get it wrong, ) I replied

I could almost see Ellie's face light up. " Like, TOTALLY DEAL!"

I smirked. ( Okay, here's the question: Is Visser One, or is Visser One not, featured on the front page of the _New Yeerk Times _today? )

" Like, wait a sec," Ellie giggled. " I'll go look."

I heard her footsteps as she stepped farther off into the hallway and into the kitchen. A few moments more… and then…

" Visser, it's not Visser One," said Ellie.

My eyes widened.

( You're LYING. ) I raged, there on the tip of the mountaintop between anger and hysterics. She had to be wrong. It was ALWAYS Visser One. ALWAYS.

" … Like, I wish I was, Visser," Ellie protested in an obvious lie.

( Well if it isn't that dapsen… ) I seethed, ( WHO IS IT? )

A moment passed as Ellie evidently re-consulted the paper. I expected her to say "Woops, like, _so-RRY _Visser, it is totally Visser One."… But unfortunately for me, and for Iniss's laundry, that was definitely _not_ what escaped her lips next.

" Like, Visser, it's some random scientist named Eivan Six-Seven-Nine…" she replied in a curious way from the kitchen, seemingly enveloped in her reading of the article.

( Eivan Six-Seven-Nine? ) I exclaimed. Of course I knew him! ( As in, _Visser Fourteen_? )

" Like, I DUNNO," Ellie said indignantly. " I'm totally just an intern, Visser. You expect me to know _aaaall _the --"

( The question was RHETORICAL, Ellie. I _know _it's Visser Fourteen. )

" Oh."

( Now keep reading, I want to know what this is about. ) It definitely did strike me as odd that the Empire newspaper was featuring a scientist – Visser or not – on the title page instead of in the regular Science section.

" Like, it says…" Ellie called out before reading the title of the article aloud: " _Well-Known Scientist Eivan 679 Makes Shocking Discovery."_

Woooww… that told me just TONS of information.

( Keep reading, Ellie. )

She moved on to the subtitle. " _Reproduction scientist Eivan 679 discovers early yesterday that…_" she stopped.

Then she shrieked.

" Like, OH MY GOD!" she yelled in horror. " Like, NO WAY. This is TOTALLY A JOKE."

Desperately trying to figure out what it was that Ellie was so damn freaked out about, and yet remaining totally unaware, I spoke to her in an effort to calm her down -- so she could tell me what the HELL was going on!

( Ellie, what seems to be the problem? ) I exclaimed, covering over her screams.

" Like, Visser!" she wailed. " You have GOT to see this!"

I sighed, sensing the world was over already... ( You come here. )

She immediately obeyed, and I heard hurried footsteps rushing toward my room. When Ellie ran inside, newspaper clutched in her left hand, I swear to the lords she looked like she had just suffered an anxiety attack and fallen straight into the core of a tornado.

( Ellie. WHAT HAPPENED? ) I demanded.

" Visser, look at this!" Ellie yelled, half-angrily, half-disbelievingly, as she thrust the _New Yeerk Times _onto my bed.

I got up on my four knees on the bed and gazed down at the article, embellished with a picture of Eivan 679 in a lab coat, holding up what seemed to be… a Yeerk.

Definitely curious now, I read the article in its entity… Or at least I tried.

_Well-Known Scientist Eivan 679 Makes Shocking Discovery_

_Reproduction scientist Eivan 679 discovers early yesterday that the Yeerk race is genderless!_

My eyes, nose, tail, stomach… EVERYTHING went wide.

Oh God.

Ellie was right. This was definitely a really, really, REALLY bad joke.

( WHAT. THE. HELL. ) I exclaimed, unable to detach my eyes from the damn article.

" I kno-ho-ho-ho-hoooowww!" Ellie bawled. " Like, Visser, I am TOTALLY a girl!"

… Of course, I could not agree more with THAT one.

But let me tell you that I LEAPED out of that bed and ran for the door as fast as my legs would carry me.

" Like, Visser, where are you going?" Ellie inquired.

( Show this to Visser One! ) I yelled. As much as I could not get over this RANDOM news… which Visser One may have an explanation for… the apocalypse was definitely worth seeing Visser One's face when she – or rather ITfound out.

Heh… So I ran out into the Empire Building's hallway and followed it down the short distance to Visser One's room. Newspaper in hand, I rang the doorbell.

- Bzzzzt.

Oh. So the doorbells had THAT infernal noise again… Whoopti-do.

The door slid open suddenly, and yet I hadn't heard any footsteps… When I peered inside, I saw Visser One lounging on her couch, playing around with her computer console.

A few moments passed before she noticed me walk in dubiously. Looking up and noticing the dumbfounded expression on my face, she laughed.

" Automated door response, you dimwit," she explained calmly. " I have it on my console."

I just stared. Visser One shrugged and returned to her work.

( Hey Visser One, guess what? ) I loudly slapped the newspaper on the table in front of her. ( You're an IT. )

" I'm a what?" Visser One asked distractedly, glancing briefly at the paper.

( An IT, ) I repeated.

" Very funny, Visser Three," Visser One spat. " I am female and even YOU can see that!"

I pointed to the article. ( APPARENTLY NOT! … Read it! )

Finally, curiosity winning over animosity, she glared at me and leaned down to look at the newspaper. Her wide-set eyes skimmed the photo of Eivan, then the title… and finally the subtitle, which of course made her large eyes become even larger.

" … What the hell, Visser Three?" she exclaimed, looking back at me.

( That's exactly what I said! ) I shot back.

" This has to be some sort of --"

( … Joke. ) I finished for her, rolling my eyes. ( But really, you have no clue about this? You reproduction exp -- )

" Shut it…!" she warned. " … Beats me. I mean, never in the twenty-two years of my life did I ever once doubt that I was female!"

( SAME! … Except, you know, male. ) I blushed slightly. This was about the ONLY TIME I ever agreed with Visser One on anything. But then again, it IS the apocalypse…

" Seriously though," Visser One continued. " How can we be GENDERLESS if we didn't even KNOW we were genderless? It makes absolutely NO sense!"

( Well… ) I said. ( Shouldn't it explain in the article? )

" Maybe," Visser One replied, handing me the paper.

I pushed it back.

( I meant YOU read it, you dapsen! ) I said. ( Unless, of course, you are too stupid to know how to read. )

" Damn you!" Visser One fumed. But her curious eyes rested on the newspaper again. " It says… that since we're blind in our natural state, we would have no way of knowing. And when we enter hosts for training, we automatically assume we are of their gender."

I pondered the thought… It made surprising sense. My first host was male… And before that I didn't really have any self-awareness beside the fact that I was swimming… endlessly swimming.

And lords know, if EIVAN 679 had discovered this, it unfortunately had to be true.

" My first host was female," Visser One realized.

( Yeah. And mine was male. )

" Could this be true? Are we really all undisclosed ITs?"

( Apparently, ) I said glumly. ( But… )

" But what?"

( To avoid any confusion, which is sure to arise… can I just keep calling you SHE? )

" Yeah. I would rather."

( Okay. )

" Okay."

--

So the Yeerks are officially genderless… Really, I should have found out earlier, since I know Iniss, and sometimes it's hard to tell with him… But still, this is shocking news! I mean, even WE had no idea… and it's our species!

But the hardest and most annoying part, by far, of learning all this… was telling my personal assistant.

Sitting on a chair, Iniss's mouth was dropped open as if he had just found out… well, that we are genderless, yeah. My bad.

" But Visser," he squeaked. " Why?"

( I don't KNOW why, Iniss. Only Visser Fourteen does. ) I tried to explain in a calm, fatherly fashion.

Iniss didn't reply, but gazed longingly at my Visser One dartboard, not even noticing the gash across her neck from when I had decided to "impale" her.

" ... Fine, so I'm GAY." Iniss said. " I can live with that!"

( You are not GAY Iniss, ) I said, then thought about it for a minute. ( Well... maybe you are, but that's besides the point. NORMAL YEERKS aren't gay... we all have the same gender! So it's NORMAL to mate with someone of your gender, because there ARE no genders! ) Whooaaa… I was confusing even myself now!

" Well..." Iniss said, trying again. " So I'm un-sexed then!"

( ASEXUAL, you dufus. )

" Oh, Visser Three, that's a biiiiiggg wooooooord..."I rolled my eyes in irritation. Genders or not, Iniss will unfortunately always be Iniss…

I looked at my Visser One poster, and at the gash on her neck, and could not hold back a smirk.

Consider this a fair warning…

… If anyone ever calls me a she…

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

* * *

**Well would you look at that... :P The Yeerks are genderless. And even THEY had no idea! Talk about a society in the dark!**

**lol well... I hoped you liked it, and please review!**

_Go to **my bio** for details on a **Visser Three's Journal Contest** for chapter six..._


	6. Councilor Eight and an Unfortunate Visit

Congratulations to** Kharina** for her winning submission to the **chapter six contest! **I chose your submission because it was creative and funny, and it stuck best to the plot.

**Kharina's submission is 885 words, and it e****nds in the sentence: _I think you're going senile_. **

Kharina will have a **character of her choice guest-starring in chapter 7**, as well as her submission featuring as the **beginning of this chapter**. Congratulations, and thanks to everyone for their submissions!

Thanks also to **Traycon3** and** Ember Nickel,** whose submissions ranked 2nd and 3rd place respectively.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs.**

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 6_  
Councilor Eight and an Unfortunate Visit**

May 8th

Dear Journal,

Great. We're genderless. Unfortunately, it hasn't stopped Iniss from going on and on about Visser One. And Iniss, with his incredible lack of common sense and tact, decided to go and announce his undying love to her, yet again. Except this time, he managed to do it RIGHT IN FRONT OF Councilor Eight! I mean, how stupid can you get!

Well, the injuries when he came back were actually due to Visser One. Councilor Eight is used to males trying to flirt with his mate and all it does is make him smugger than ever. But Visser One is so fed up of Iniss she whacked him over the head with a chair. Several times. The woman… well, the IT… seriously needs help with anger management! But then, Iniss can be so annoying I can hardly blame her. One of the few things… in fact probably the only thing… that myself, Visser One and Councilor Eight all agree on is that Iniss is stupid and annoying. Second only to Visser One. Well, obviously only _I _say that. Visser One and Councilor Eight say he's second only to ME… I mean, come on, I'm not that annoying! I'm not, am I Journal? That's right, no. I didn't think so.

Anyway, so Iniss comes whining back to me. And all this fuss over Visser One makes Ellie jealous, so SHE starts getting upset and whining TOO. What did I do to deserve such stupid assistants! Oh yeah, Visser One gets a cool vegetarian Taxxon -- I get a Yeerk with as many legs as brain cells. So eventually I got so annoyed I stormed over to Visser One's room for a good argument, as I always do when I'm stressed. It's just so therapeutic!

( Visser One, how DARE you injure MY P.A.! ) I yelled once I got there.

She didn't even glance up from reading the paper -- in fact, the article about Yeerks being genderless. " I thought you didn't like Iniss," she said lazily.

( I don't, but when you do that he comes whining to me and totally spoils my day! )

" I had to get him to go away somehow. If you don't want that to happen, keep him away from me!"

( That's impossible, Visser One. It would be like trying to keep… well, any other male away from you. Except worse. )

She rolled her eyes. " Visser Three, did you actually come here for a REASON? Or just to argue with me?"

( That IS a reason! But I also wanted my paper back, ) I said as I snatched it.

" Visser Three, I was READING that!"

I was about to respond, when a knock came at the door.

" What!" Visser One snapped moodily in the general direction of the door.

" Bad time, Edriss?" Came Councilor Eight's voice from the other side of the door. I noticed that his tone of voice was… different… to how he normally sounded. But then, that's just what happens to most males (read: NOT me) when Visser One is around.

Visser One was silent for a second. " I, uh, didn't know it was you… sorry… come in," she said. Again in a tone she reserved for speaking to Councilor Eight. The annoyance had mostly vanished from her face.

Councilor Eight came in. I glared at him. Visser One smiled at him. For some reason that made me glare even more… I mean, why? Maybe it's just that anything Visser One likes I have to hate, and I already hate Councilor Eight, so I hate him doubly. Yeah, that must be the reason. Definitely.

He gave me a half-puzzled, half-angry look, but then turned to Visser One. " You're not going to like this, but the Council needs you to look through these." He dumped a large pile of papers on her desk. His tone was back to normal now he'd seen me.

She groaned. " Not MORE paperwork," she grumbled.

Visser One absolutely hates paperwork and forms. She really can't stand them, especially when there's a lot to do at once. That's why I steal them and hide them from her so she has to do them all at once, right before they need to be finished. Yes, I am a sadistic, horrible Yeerk. You must know that by now, surely?

" What's that dapsen doing here?" Councilor Eight asked, referring to me. I scowled at him.

" He came to annoy me, as usual," she replied.

( You hit my P.A. over the head with a CHAIR! ) I repeated.

" Well, make him stop following me around then. Go away, Visser Three," she snapped.

( Fine! ) I snapped back. At the door I turned to look at her. ( You have anger management problems, Visser One. )

" No, that's you," Councilor Eight said. "Go away."

I sighed and stormed back to my own room. Have I mentioned that I really HATE Councilor Eight? I mean, all those males to choose from and Visser One chooses the Empire's biggest dapsen (except for herself, obviously). Why! I mean, what's so SPECIAL about Councilor Eight?

Alloran, I am NOT jealous! Where do you get these weird ideas of yours? I think you're going senile.

( Heh, that's a joke… ) laughed Alloran. ( YOU, not jealous? Wow. And I thought Iniss was crazy. )

No joke, you dapsen. And for the last time, I am not CRAZY!

… How about we just block Alloran out now? He really isn't helping this entry move along. And I'm sure you, Journal, would rather not hear Alloran and I bickering pointlessly all day, and instead listen to the rest of the story.

Yes? That's what I thought. Bye bye, Alloran. Wave wave.

I walked back into my room just in time to hear my telecom ringing mercilessly.

" VISSER THREE, ANSWER YOUR LIKE, PHONE!" Ellie screamed from the shower.

Rolling my eyes, I set off in search of the telecom. But there was no sign of it! Anywhere! I looked behind the couch, under the doorframe, in the closet, on the table – Where the HELL was my telecom!

- Riiiiiiingggggg… Brrrrrriiiiiinggggg…

You would think they'd give up by now. For the Emperor's sake, the telecom had been RINGING for THREE MINUTES! You would think they would get the god damn point!

" Like, Visser Three, ANSWER YOUR PHONE!" Ellie shrieked.

( I CAN'T _FIND _THE PHONE! ) I yelled back in near-hysterics.

" It's like, on the sofa!" Ellie said. " _Duuuuuuuhhh_…"

( NO it's not, you creep. I WOULD have noticed if it was -- ) I looked at the sofa. Surely enough, there was my telecom! Ringing its nonexistant heart out!

HADN'T I JUST _LOOKED _UNDER THE DAMN SOFA?

No. No, it had to be _on _the sofa.

Stupid lords. Why must you pain me so?

Ellie came out of the bathroom and grinned at me. I glared and lifted my index finger.

( Don't you say a word, ) I spat.

I walked over to the couch, still fuming, and roughly picked up the telecom. I pressed the mind-link button.

( Visser Three speaking, ) I graciously held back a death scream.

" Dear brother," a familiar voice on the other end sneered. " Have you forgotten how to answer your telecom?"

I almost dropped the phone. Lords, are you kidding me?

( _No_, ) I spat. ( Have you forgotten how to HANG UP? The damn thing was ringing for five minutes! )

" Actually I haven't forgotten how to hang up," my evil twin said. " I could hang up now, if you'd like."

( Nice try. ) I said. ( What have you called me for? )

" What, a guy can't call his brother anymore?"

( Not you. You ALWAYS want something. And yet you live in a billionaire host! Typical. Now what is it that you want? )

I sighed, preparing for the worst.

This was more than typical of my twin brother, Esplin Nine-Four-Double-Six, the lesser – whom everyone just calls "the lesser", to NOT complicate things as much as possible. He always calls me to ask the stupidest questions, demand the wackiest favors, and talk about his gourmet menu. Which, by the way is US. Yeerks. How did I get stuck with a cannibal for a twin brother?

… Oh YEAH! I kicked him out of the pool! Right, so maybe that WASN'T the brightest decision.

Anyway.

" What would I want? …" the lesser pondered. " Oh yes, I remember now: I am in nearby space at the moment, and have decided to drop in for a visit."

My heart stopped.

The LESSER was coming for a VISIT?

No.

NOOOOOOO!

( But… WHY? ) I asking, trying NOT to sound absolutely disgusted. ( Since when are you in space? )

" Oh, I was just taking a stroll," he said merrily. " You know, getting in touch with my roots and such."

I snorted. A beautiful, empty landscape with nothing but stars and dust for miles… Some _roots_, alright! Actually quite fitting for him!

( You were taking a STROLL to the YEERK HOME WORLD? ) I exclaimed, practically hysterical. ( A bit more than a _stroll _now, don't you think? )

" Hey, it makes for loads of exercise!"

( You're sitting in a ship. )

" I meant for the _ship_, dummy."

I scowled interiorly. This could not be happening. This just could NOT be happening!

I would have to resort to some drastic measures…

Just as soon as I got off the telecom!

( When are you planning on arriving? ) I asked quickly, just dripping fake joy.

" Early tomorrow morning, actually," he replied. " I should be arriving around eight o'clock."

( Okay, great! ) I said. ( Well… I have to go, because Visser One is screaming at me to give her back her forms, ) – which she really wasn't – ( but I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Okay, bye. )

And before the lesser could make a vulgar comment about Visser One screaming, I hung up the telecom and sprinted like a madman out into the hallway and back to Visser One's room.

There, I rang the infernal doorbell about five thousand times.

- … Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt –

" Will you SHUT UP already?" Councilor Eight screeched from inside the room. Great. _He _was still there. " We're busy!"

( I'll bet you are, ) I snapped coolly. ( But I need help! SERIOUSLY! )

" And why would we want to help _you_?" Visser One replied snobbishly, icily, her words aiming to sting.

Which they didn't.

( Because – Because -- LOOK, just let me in and I'll tell you! ) I shrieked.

" Yeah right, Visser Three," Visser One sneered, evidently amused. " You're going to have to do better than that."

I inhaled deeply, trying to relax. Which, by the way, was pretty much impossible.

( Alright Visser One, you asked for it… ) I said. ( The lesser is dropping by for a visit tomorrow morning. )

There was a sudden, still, eerie silence all around. Not a word as I heard Visser One's footsteps pounding on the floor, as she ran closer. Then a small "click" as the door slid open slowly.

Visser One's face was contorted into a mixture of disgust, repulsion, and freaking out.

" The LESSER is coming HERE?" she exclaimed as Councilor Eight walked up to lace his arms around her waist from behind and place his head on her shoulder to look at me.

( Apparently so! ) I raged. ( Tomorrow morning! )

" What are we going to do?"

( I don't know, but you're right to use _we_, because I'm not putting up with him alone! )

" Uhh, did I miss something?" Councilor Eight asked lamely. " Who is this _the lesser_?"

( He's my twin brother. ) I replied simply.

" So? What's the problem with that?" he shrugged.

( He eats Yeerks. )

" Oh… WHAT?" Councilor Eight's eyes bulged suddenly.

" Come in, Visser Three, we need to talk this over," Visser One said, obviously knowing an emergency when she saw one.

I galloped into her room, behind her and the Councilor. I stood in the middle of the room, pacing. Visser One and Councilor Eight sat on the couch side by side, with Councilor Eight holding her close. He whispered something softly into her ear. Her worried gaze softened and she rested her head on his shoulder.

( Okay. All this _lovey-dovey _stuff is SWEET, ) I said sarcastically, ( but we have to figure something out about my brother! )

" Well, how long is he staying?" Visser One questioned.

( I don't know. He didn't say. But it better not be longer than three days… )

" BETTER not be!" Visser One exclaimed. " I'd rather starve than be eaten by him!"

( I'm sure you would… ) I said bitterly. ( Except that he says he'd "never _dream _of eating Visser One". Lucky sap. )

" This is all your fault, Visser Three," Visser One spat.

( How is it MY fault? ) I yelled.

" YOU answered your TELECOM!" she crossed her arms snobbishly.

( Yeah, then he would have showed up ANYWAY, and tomorrow morning we'd all be running for cover! ) I said. ( And besides, the telecom was ringing like a dapsen for five minutes, what did you expect me to do? )

Visser One looked pensive. " I almost forgot… My twin sister was on her way here too. She called me a few days ago. And she's bringing a few… friends… from the cafeteria where she works."

( Well, maybe if somehow she shows up at the same time as the lesser, he'll have some company that's NOT us, ) I beamed. This situation was looking up!

" … Or we could always just stick him with Iniss," Visser One laughed.

( You dapsen. He's too fricking big! )

She let out a chuckle. " Okay." She played with her fingers. " This won't be too bad."

Yeah. It wouldn't be too bad.

Or at least we hoped…

Until my return,

Esplin 9466


	7. The Family Reunion of Ultimate Doom!

**A/N:** This chapter was originally supposed to be in Visser Three's Diary, but as there was too much happening, and not enough room, I decided to scrap it. However, Kharina's submission for the contest gave me an opening to place it in the Journal! So, hope you enjoy! 

Guys, guess what? I wrote the beginning of this chapter the TRADITIONAL way! I'm not allowed on the computer after 10 pm, so I started the chapter in my notebook… :P Never done that much!

**_This chapter is dedicated to Kharina, because without her this chapter would not be here! Hope you enjoy your character's appearance. :)_**

_**Also, to Victim Of His Own Design. Your review made my day. I walked around with a huge smile on my face the whole day! I'm glad you like the fic so much, and I hope you'll keep reading (have you read the prequel? Scroll down my fic list, it's not hard to find. :P) Also, that's a VERY good question. But of course, I have an answer to it. Since this A/N is already too long as it is, I'll tryto remember toanswer your question in the next one, ok? Remind me!**_

**"Visser Three's Journal" **

**_Chapter 7_**  
**The Family Reunion of Ultimate Doom!**

May 9th 

Dear Journal,

This morning I was abruptly FORCED out of bed by not Ellie – surprisingly enough – but Visser One. Who let her into my room this early in the first place is beyond me, but whoever did can be certain to die a very slow and painful death. Sounds harsh, I know, but so is the way Visser One mercilessly wakes a peacefully sleeping Visser _such as _myself up at – I looked at the alarm on my nightstand – six-thirty in the morning!

" Rise and shine, soldier!" Visser One screamed, stripping me brutally of and heartlessly of my bed sheets. " It's time to begin Operation Lesser!"

( How about Operation _Kill Edriss_?… ) I grumbled, snatching at my covers.

" I don't think so, dapsen!" Visser One scowled. She grabbed the sheets from my hands and tore them clear off the bed. As the humans would say, "JESUS!"

( Visser One! ) I shrieked. ( Calm your hormones! It's ONLY the lesser! )

" Easy for _you _to say," Visser One spat. " You're his twin brother, he won't have _you _as Thanksgiving Dinner!"

( … Thanksgiving?… )

" Never mind!" she shrieked icily. " Thing is, he'll eat me, and if he stays longer than three days I'll starve before coming out of this host!"

I rolled my eyes. In that case, I was starting to HOPE the lesser would stay longer than three days!

( Stay away from him then! ) I snapped coldly. ( It'll do BOTH of us a favor. Besides, he said he'd never eat you, remember? )

Obviously, Visser One had not been listening at the time.

" He _talks _about me?" she said, sounding repulsed.

_If only she knew… _I squirmed at the thought.

( Yeah, all the time, ) I rolled my eyes. ( He seems to have a YOU fetish… Most of the time it's really quite vulgar. )

I almost threw up right then and there, and I probably WOULD have if I hadn't been so busy smirking like a retard at Visser One's deeply disturbed expression. In normal time, I wouldn't have TOLD a terrified Yeerk that my cannibal twin brother has some not-so-innocent fantasies about them – especially when he was coming here in less than two hours… But it's _Visser One_. And I, as her worst enemy, never pass up an occasion to scare her to the pant-wetting point.

I looked at the time again. Six-forty. Oh lords.

( Visser One, why the _hell _did you wake me up so freaking _early_? ) I exclaimed, snuggling back down into my wide array of pillows. ( He only _gets _here at eight! And he knows where the Empire building is obviously, you retard! We don't have to go get him at the hangar. )

Visser One sat on the bed, her legs evidently tired. She looked at me quizzically.

( WHAT? ) I shrieked at her silent staring.

" Why did you say '_we_'?" she asked. " You said WE didn't have to go get him at the hangar."

( I meant _I_, ) I said evenly.

" But you said we."

( _Okay_, shut your face! )

" _Visser Three_…"

( Visser One, go back to bed… ) I spat exhaustedly, rolling over – or you know, the Andalite equivalent of rolling over.

Well, that was a stupid decision. Not only did Visser One _not _go back to bed, but she jumped on MY bed and proceeded to CRUSHING – I mean _sitting on _my hindquarters.

( Visser One! ) I shrieked. ( GET OFF, I can't breathe! )

" Uh, yeah," she nodded. " That was basically my plan there, loser."

She then let her whole weight onto my flank. LORDS, for such a perfect size that dapsen weighs a damn TON!

" Die, you dapsen!" she yelled, pressing down.

( GET OFF ME YOU FREAK! ) I yelled, slowly turning violet. I grabbed her arm in an effort to get her off, but she resisted and practically drove her nails into my blue-furred upper back.

" Tell your crazy twin brother not to come five feet near me!" she spat mercilessly.

( And what if I don't? ) I shot back.

She lifted herself up and crashed her body back down onto my flank. OUCH.

( Okay, okay, _okay_! ) I exclaimed. ( Lords! You don't have to go all bloody-murder on me! I'll tell him to stay far away from you. )

I tried my best to sound honest, so she would get her grubby self off me! But when she didn't budge, I got really angry and stood up. Yes, right there on the bed. Once I was up I jumped, throwing Visser One clear off the bed. She hit her head against the wall and groaned.

" Ow…" she complained weakly, lifting up a hand to tap the back of her head. I winced. There was a smear of blood on my wall.

( Get out of here! ) I said, turning away. ( Go back to your own room! If you stay here, then I'll _tell_ the lesser to eat you! )

Her eyes blazed daggers at me as she stood up and stumbled out of my room. It was only seven o'clock. Sighing, I settled back down onto my bed, but found it practically impossible to fall asleep again with an entire hour to spare.

_Stupid Visser One_, I thought to myself bitterly.

---

With eight o'clock finally just around the corner, I decided to get up. I made my bed quickly, since Ellie was in her room getting ready for the company – why did I have to get a GIRLY Yeerk for an intern, huh? Better off getting one who does my housework too, so I am not reduced to becoming the maid which is Iniss!

Fuming, I walked out of my room and into the kitchen. No sooner had I grabbed a light bowl from the counter and started to boil some water for my morning dose of oatmeal, than the doorbell started to ring.

ANNOYINGLY.

REPEATEDLY.

_GAH!_

- Bzzt, bzzt, bzzt, bzzt, bzzt --

( I'm COMING already! ) I could not help a rather high-pitched screech. ( Don't shit your freaking pants! )

I stomped over to the door and pressed the open button as if there was an Andalite bandit in insect morph on it. Which, if there were, I would actually pity the poor slave.

The door slid open. Outside, in the hallway, stood the source of this morning's rib-crushing by Visser One: Esplin the lesser, in his tall, moderately handsome, dark-haired, billionaire human host, Joe Bob Fenestre.

" '_Shit my freaking pants_' is the one thing I wasn't planning on doing today," my twin brother said quite sardonically. He smirked as he added, " … Although meeting a great beauty in the hallway wasn't exactly in my plannings either."

I winced. Oh no, VISSER ONE! … Gah, there go my ribs. And quite possibly the rest of my body as well.

Well, teaches her for walking OUTSIDE in the HALLWAY at eight o'clock! Stupid git.

I had to make a _huge effort _not to smack my forehead. ( You didn't… ) I winced. ( … _Touch _her or anything, did you? )

" Why, of course not," the lesser said, seeming mildly shocked. " Why would I do such a thing?"

( Well, you do fantasize about it… let's see, ALL THE TIME? Would that be an exaggeration? ) I said sarcastically.

He laughed pleasantly. " I only dream of my dear Edriss Five-Six-Two, you know that…"

( Uhh… did I miss something? ) I asked, my eyes wide.

" I am not sure. Please precise?"

( You said you crossed a "great beauty" in the hallway. You don't mean Visser One? )

The lesser's eyes lit up. " Visser One is HERE?"

This time I really DID smack my forehead.

( Oh lords… ) I muttered privately to no one. Wow, am _I_ ever a screw-up… Sometimes I surprise even myself! … Out loud to my brother, I continued: ( So… if not Visser One, who is this great beauty? )

The lesser looked out into the hallway and beamed.

" Here she comes, here she comes!" he whispered urgently.

I waited a moment before a pretty human female with light brown, almost blond hair and a light complexion walked past my door with a quick glance my way. I guess she found it quite funny that both the lesser and I were staring her way, because she reeled back and stopped at my doorway.

" Hi, Visser Three," she said in a mildly familiar tone and moderately familiar attitude. She seemed kind of uneasy, too. Don't ask me why.

( You must be Anati, ) I said instantly. ( I remember having met you before, but I think you had another host. )

Anati grinned. " So how did you know it was me?"

( Why, your attitude of course! ) I grinned back. ( … I know your sister too well. )

We both laughed. So did the lesser, who had absolutely no connection to all this. But since the lesser has a slight obsession – to put it awfully mildly – with the female-hosted Yeerk, he quite gladly joined in. Turning to Anati, he grabbed her hand and kissed it like the humans do.

I almost hurled.

" Good morning Anati," he said in one of those tones. " My name is Esplin. And I am much better than my twin brother."

Wow, thanks lesser.

Anati laughed, apparently amused, and smiled at the lesser. Then she looked back down the hallway and frowned.

" WHERE are they?" she demanded, apparently to herself. She then added in a bitter undertone, " Efflit probably killed them all…"

( Efflit? ) I asked.

" Yeah. Some guy. The cafeteria security was after him again, so he decided to jump in with us."

( Oh. ) Somehow, the name "Efflit" rang a persistent bell in my mind… but since I was far too lazy to try and figure out what it meant to me, I let it go.

Just then, another Yeerk in a blond-haired, female human host, accompanied by two males and one Hork-Bajir (oh god), came walking down the hallway. The female waved to Anati and smiled. So did two of the males. The other one just kind of lingered back.

" Aftran!" Anati yelled. " There you are! What took you so long?"

" Efflit saw a vending machine," Aftran replied simply.

" Shut up, fool," the guy in the back said not-too-loudly.

" Now don't be rude!" said the other male, whose human host was averagely tall, with reddish-brown hair and laughing brown eyes.

The guy in the back, whom I presumed was Efflit, scowled under his breath, his eyes murderous.

The Hork-Bajir ran up in front of the others to join Anati. He was frowning as well as a Hork-Bajir can. " Anati, that guy is weird."

" Is that _all_ you ever say anymore, Orifix?" Anati exclaimed lowly as the others arrived and joined in. " For the Emperor's sake… Anyway, we'd better be off. Have to visit my sister."

" Finally, someone who agrees with me that Visser Three is a complete and total idiot."

" Efflit!" Anati snapped, jabbing him in the side with her elbow.

" OW!"

I ignored Efflit. ( Well, if "off" is an appropriate term for going just next door, then very well… ) I pointed to Visser One's chamber door, which was roughly about three feet from our present location. ( There's her room. )

Anati laughed. " Wow. It must be annoying for you two to have to put up with your worst enemy as your next-door neighbor."

( More than you could ever imagine, ) I rolled my eyes.

Anati smiled. " Well, Visser Three, we'll see you later."

She walked off, followed by her freaking POSSE: Aftran, Efflit, Orifix… and that _other _random guy. When they entered Visser One's room, the lesser and I retreated back into mine. He sat down comfortably on a chair, putting his feet up on a small table.

I didn't say a word.

" So, my dear brother…" he said. " What have you been doing lately?"

( What do you mean, what have I been doing? ) I asked distractedly, rummaging through a cupboard for a nice pack of oatmeal.

" MILITARY-WISE, you freak!"

( Oh. Well, I've been filling out forms. )

" That's it?"

( _And_ I've been running Visser One's stupid organisation The Sharing. ) I smirked, for I had said this loudly and publicly.

Soon enough, there was a loud bang on the far wall, followed by Visser One's hateful, protesting voice. " SHUT UP, Visser Three, The Sharing is not a stupid organization! It is a brilliant human recruitment procedure, you fool!"

" Yes, and perhaps it would not be so stupid if you weren't running it…" Efflit added, just loud enough so I could hear it from this side of the wall.

" Efflit…!" both Anati and Aftran exclaimed at once.

" WHAT?" Efflit snapped, sounding very pissed.

( Last time I checked, I am the one with the tail blade. ) I told Efflit icily. ( So unless you'd like your head cut off, I suggest you stop being a fool and cease insulting me at once! )

" 'Cease', brother?" the lesser chimed in.

( Shut it, lesser! )

" That's prime to you, fool!"

( Last time I checked I was the prime, you idiot. )

" Not for long!" the lesser declared victoriously.

( … Right. ) I said, backing away slowly.

Why did I get stuck with the crazy, Yeerk-eating twin brother? Why ME? … Why not Visser One?

( Esplin… why do you have to eat Yeerks? )

He smiled widely. " Speaking of which, what's for dinner?"

Eww. ( You know what? I think I've lost my appetite. Possibly for a very long time. )

But I went into the kitchen just the same, and made him some soup, which he literally devoured gratefully. Geez, it almost reminded me of Visser One!

Oh great. A twin brother who not only eats Yeerks, but who reminds me of my worst enemy. Even now, at four o'clock in the afternoon, as I write in my journal, he's still here – taking a snooze in the guestroom actually.

And even though the day so far has passed smoothly enough, I have a feeling that this is going to be an… "interesting"… family reunion still to come. And not only for me, but for Visser One as well, who has company of her own over in her room.

I wonder how Visser One is faring right about now…

Woops, gotta go Journal! The lesser just woke up and is demanding where I am… I cannot let him find out I have you, oh no!

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

P.S. – I will continue this recital of our family reunion the first chance I get. If I even get one.

* * *

**Oh dear lord, as Pharrells Girl said! Did you seriously think I was going to put this family reunion all in one part? Hehe! Nope, welcome to the first two-parter of Visser Three's Journal. You'll see much more of the lesser, Anati, Efflit, Aftran, THE GUY YET TO BE NAMED (lol Kharina), and Orifix next time! Hope to update soon, but in the meantime see you all later!**


	8. Another Version of Events

A/N: I've pulled a **"Host Swap, Part One"**. ;) You'll see… And in this chapter, we see the first signs of a developping plot twist which will disrupt aspects of the story later on… Enjoy!

_**Dedicated to Darth Vader es Cool 5, for writing a "fanfiction" for the Visser Diaries Trilogy… and for loving my fics. :) Thanks very much, and I hope you keep on reading! You won't be disappointed!**_

_**Also, to Kaduca, for reviewing ALL my stuff. I'm incredibly grateful that you've remained such a loyal fan of my stories! Thanks lots! (By the way, Efflit is canon. He appears in 54, serving under The One.)**_

_**Thanks to both of you, and I hope you enjoy this chapter, FINALLY uploaded just for you:)**_

**"Visser Three's Journal"**

**_Chapter 8  
_Another Version of Events…**

**Visser One**

The doorbell rang.

The god damn, stupid, retarded, dapsenish, FREAKISHLY ANNOYING DOORBELL.

At eight fifteen in the morning.

Somebody just shoot me now.

And of course, what didn't help in the least was the fact that my sister had apparently brought along an entire ARMY of low-ranks along with her. Said army was now standing in my doorframe (and how they all fit I guess we'll never know) in the following order: A male human, young enough, with reddish-brown hair and brown eyes – random guy number one; a teenaged human female with blond hair and blue eyes – my sister's friend Aftran, I presumed… then there was my sister's and my best friend, Orifix One-One-Double-Four (not that he has a twin… long story), who was the one random Hork-Bajir – seriously typical. Next to him was my sister Anati, whose real name is, of course, Edriss Five-Six-Double-Two, the lesser. But Anati was nicknamed after a great Yeerk hero whom she greatly resembles (this hero even got an entire planet system named after her by our species), and therefore we were able to drop the Double-Twos and the designations – except on very formal occasions. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, standing beside my sister was yet another guy (there seemed to be many), this time with reddish-brown hair and dull green eyes – random guy number TWO.

The fact that my twin sister appeared to be picking up random guys and bringing them to my ship deeply, deeply disturbed me… I stood in the doorway, eyes wide, overcome by unwanted images.

" Edriss?" Anati asked. " Uh… is everything alright?"

" … What?" I snapped out of it. " Oh, yes, yes! Now come in, you're gathering up dust."

I swaggered quickly into the room, and with Orifix giving me the fish eye all the way into the kitchen, the entire army of guests followed suit. I quickly set up extra chairs (What? When Anati said A FEW GUESTS, I was thinking more along the lines of TWO!) and with a simple gesture invited them all to have a seat.

They obeyed, of course, as _I _was the high-ranking Visser here. AND the one with the gold-plated Dracon beam attached to the back of her belt. But sooner than I had first expected, the conversation turned to "Aspects of Visser One's Personal Life". Goody.

In fact, the very first words out of my sister's mouth were, " So, how's Councilor Eight?"

I blushed. " He's… fine. Why?"

" Just wondering," Anati said brightly. " He is a great person. Extremely right for you, Edriss."

" Well, thank you," I said.

I thought of Councilor Eight… about his smile, his laugh, the warmth of his arms when he held me –

" And how is Visser Eight?"

Clouds and lightning just STAMPEDED into my thoughts at the mention of that… that unworthy bastard. I frowned and seethed.

" I DON'T CARE!" I shrieked. " HE CAN DIE AND BURN IN HELL, FOR ALL I CARE!"

Efflit laughed sardonically. " That is exactly what I think of the blue idiot in the other room."

Anati laughed as well. " Now come on, Edriss. It wasn't that bad."

" Who is Visser Eight?" asked Aftran, confused.

" My sister's old mate." Anati explained with a smirk. " They were together for about three months…"

Oh no, don't tell her. Oh no, don't tell her…

" … Then he dumped her." Anati finished.

GAH, SHE TOLD HER!

Yes, I, Visser One, got dumped. No, it is not the end of the world. No, you cannot have skimpy pictures of me. Why is that always the last question?

Why he dumped me, you ask? For another Yeerk! Yes, he loved her more than he did me… Or maybe she was just more of a typical "female", if you know what I mean…

… Not a Visser. Was I too MASCULINE? Too WAR-DRIVEN? Well I'm sorry, _Visser Eight_, but that is what you GET when you live in the company of forty-six MEN since the age of seventeen!

I thought he would love the fact that I was a Visser like him! I thought we would be great together, understanding each other, and all that shit! But NOOO, he goes and DUMPS me. BAD CHOICE, Visser Eight. NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE dumps ME. Especially if they're lower-ranking than I am… I've got the demotion papers already, it's only a matter of time… hehe.

" Sooo…" I said, still incredibly pissed, but trying to go out with a smile. " Anati, Aftran?" I pointed to the guy with bright brown eyes. " WHO is this guy?"

Aftran started to laugh. " Oh I'm sorry, this is my mate, Innis --"

My heart stopped.

" – Five-Five-One." Aaand it started up again. Breathe, Visser, breathe!

" … Are you alright?" Aftran asked.

" Yes. It's just that I thought for a moment that you were going to say Iniss Two-Two-Six."

" Oh come on, even _I _wouldn't mate with him."

" That is what I thought," I sighed. " And that is what I was most hoping."

Anati rolled her eyes. Aftran smiled. Innis combed his hair (okay, what?). Efflit just sat in a corner and lurked.

I looked at Efflit and blinked. " Uh, why are you lurking?"

He grinned. " Because lurking makes people wonder. Also… it's more interesting than listening to _them _all day."

Anati and Aftran glared at him. I decided not to ask.

" Visser?"

I spun around to find the source of this new voice. A Taxxon walked into the room, not a Yeerk, just a Taxxon. He was clean – unlike most harsh-smelling, repelling Taxxons, and very intelligent. This was my personal assistant, T.E., a Taxxon turned vegetarian thanks to his unnatural phobia of meat… and fluent in many languages, ranging from Galard to Chinese.

T.E. walked toward me as everyone except Anati, even Efflit, drew slightly back. I looked at them, slightly amused at their reaction.

" Everyone, this is T.E., my personal assistant," I explained. " T.E., this is Anati, Aftran, Innis, Orifix, and Efflit."

" I have been awfully quiet this entire time." Orifix said irrelevantly. " I think everyone may have forgotten I was here."

T.E. smiled in his Taxxon way. " Nice to meet you all. Pardon me if I was interrupting anything."

"No, not at all," I replied. Then, looking at Anati and Aftran, who had forgotten all about glaring at Efflit, I added: " In fact, I think you may have saved Efflit from a brutal murder."

Efflit snorted derisively.

" Hehe, well," T.E. laughed, " I'm glad I could be of assistance, Visser. And if you will allow, it is time to take your medication."

Immediately, Anati's eyes lowered to the ground. I hated it when she did that… She just made the whole thing more humiliating by looking embarrassed for me.

Aftran saw Anati's face and nudged her as if to ask what was wrong. Anati looked at her and shook her head, as if to say "nothing".

T.E. walked out of the room and returned seconds later with a large silver platter. On this platter stood a large glass of water and three different-colored pills on a gold handkerchief. I hastily picked up the pills and swallowed them one by one, drinking down the water with them. When I was finished, I handed the platter back to T.E.

" Thank you, Visser," T.E. said, taking the platter from my hands. " I will see you later. Enjoy your company."

He left the room, leaving us with an uneasy, awkward silence. Anati looked at me apologetically, but I shrugged it off. I was acting like the Visser I was, shrugging off everything that bothered me.

Aftran was the first to speak up. " Don't worry, Visser One, I take medication too. There's nothing to be ashamed of… even Vissers get sick sometimes."

" I'm not sick!" I exclaimed, more loudly than I'd intended to. " I only take that medication for headaches. My host has horrible migraines."

Aftran looked at me a bit disbelievingly, as if she didn't think I would look so down because of simple migraine pills… But that was her problem. And thankfully, she let it go. Thankfully, because if she hadn't I may have gotten angry. And that, as you may have guessed, is never pleasant.

" So," I asked. " How long are you all staying?"

" Not very long, I admit," Anati said regretfully. " I have to be back in the cafeteria by late tomorrow, so we'll have to leave later today."

" That's too bad," I said, although I have to say that after the medication incident, I was more or less glad they wouldn't be staying too long…

" Yeah," Aftran piped up. " This is a very nice place you Vissers live in."

" It really is," Innis added. " I love the décor of these chambers especially. Did you design it yourself?"

" Mostly, yes." I smiled. " I gave the designers the color schemes and the patterns. I also, of course, decided where all the furniture went."

I looked at Orifix. " Orifix! Why are you being so damn quiet today?"

" I am observing these fish," he said, pointing to my large fish tank, where fish swam calmly around in the water. " I am giving them names and personalities, because they remind me of Yeerks."

" He's totally cracker, it's like off the deep end!" Efflit yelled, smirking as he imitated a high-pitched female voice. Whatever THAT was.

" Ooooookay…" I said. " Someone's had too much coffee today. And I don't mean Orifix."

Efflit returned to his lurking without saying a word. Orifix continued his observation of the fish. Anati played with a spot on her forearm. And Aftran and Innis just kind of sat there, giving each other suggestive glances.

I decided I should be the one to break the silence. I took a breath. " Well, as you all know --"

- WHAM!

" – What in the name of Akdor was _that_?" I yelled.

"That" in fact had been an extremely loud noise coming from my front door. Perhaps Visser Three had finally gone AWOL and proceeded to hurling Hork-Bajir against walls. Or maybe an elephant had somehow landed on our planet.

Hard.

" Edriss…" Anati said uncertainly as I got up and walked toward the front door, Dracon beam clutched in my left hand.

" Oh, don't worry your little Yeerk brains…" I muttered. " I've done this a thousand times."

And to tell you the truth, I probably wouldn't even be surprised in the _least _if there was a full-grown Earth elephant on my doorstep. No more surprised than if I opened the door to find Visser Three in human morph trying to sell me French fries.

I stalked quickly to the door and unlocked it. From inside I heard muffled screams! I quickly opened the door and… and…

" YAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" I shrieked.

" AHHHHHHHHHHH!" shrieked, well, Iniss. Two-Two-Six.

Iniss Two-Two-Six, standing about Two-Two-Six MICROMETRES from my FACE!

I pushed him back.

" Visser One, _NOOOOO_!" he screamed.

" Iniss, what is your freaking _problem_?" I yelled, frustrated.

Just then, my stampede of guests appeared behind me in the doorway.

" Edriss, what's going on?" Orifix, for once, asked.

" I don't know!"

Which was true… All I knew, as I pushed Iniss away, was that he was screaming himself out of the freaking host while standing in front of my door… in his boxers.

His Quaker Oats boxers.

Pink.

Gag.

… Visser Three has a pair of Quaker Oats boxers, too. Except his aren't pink. Not to mention that they most _definitely _look better on him than they do on Iniss. And you did not just read that.

Cough. Ahem.

" Visser One, my dear. You're here!" A tall guy with dark brown hair and gray eyes stepped from behind Iniss. This, I could only assume was Esplin the lesser. Visser Three's crazy, Yeerk-eating twin brother. Somebody shoot me. Seriously. Just pull the blessed trigger and let it all be over!

I frowned. " Call me _dear _again and I will personally SHOVE a deer through your ribcage!"

The lesser laughed. " Now Edriss --"

" DON'T CALL ME EDRISS!" I leveled my Dracon beam to his head.

" – Let's not get violent!" he yelled, eyeing the Dracon.

" I have excellent aim, '_MY DEAR_'." I spat angrily.

" Edriss!" Anati started. " Don't SHOOT the guy!"

" Listen to _her_!" the lesser said.

" I AM VISSER ONE!" I yelled as all hell broke loose right out here in the hallway. " I GIVE YOU ORDERS! DO NOT MOVE OR I WILL BLOW YOUR YEERK-EATING SELF RIGHT OUT OF JOE BOBBY HERE!"

" Visser One, Visser One," the lesser soothed, stock still. " Let's not get cannibal-phobic here."

I ignored him. " Why is Iniss in his boxers?"

" None of your --"

" ANSWER ME!" I spat. " Or else I will get Orifix to harm you with his talons!"

" It's because I'm Hork-Bajir, isn't it!" Orifix muttered from behind me.

" I was trying to eat him!" the lesser finally answered. Then I guess he realized we were all glaring murderously at him, because he immediately proceeded to defending himself. " WHAT? Not my fault my brother banned my from the Yeerk pool!"

" Yeah." I frowned. " He banned you from the pool. In other words, _you were supposed to DIE._"

The lesser grinned. " Just goes to show, one smart person can change the world!"

I rolled my eyes. " Right. Look, just get OUT of here."

" Okay, fine," the lesser said coldly. Then he raised his index finger. " On one condition!"

" I'm listening."

" That I get to go into the pool for one day. Please? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"

Oh, for the love of… " Fine. But just to make sure you don't eat anyone…" I grinned. " You can use your _brother's _private pool."

The lesser smiled brightly. " Thank you, Visser One! I shall not litter inappropriately, I promise!"

" Uh." I said. WAY too much information. Especially for the lesser, that is NASTY.

Without saying another word, I retreated into my room, disgusted beyond proper sense.

---

Hours passed, and around seven o'clock my guests left. I said my goodbyes, and when they were well on their way, I returned into my chambers to sit on the sofa and watch the news. Nothing interesting really, except for a broadcast on Earth's progress. They interviewed important members from the Sharing, who all let perceive that the organization was doing great in recruiting hundreds of new hosts. That was excellent news. I smiled and settled down into the sofa… but just when I was on the heights of comfort, the doorbell rang. Again.

- BZZZZZT.

" What?" I asked loudly.

( VISSER ONE! ) Guess who… Wipee…

I smirked to myself. " What do you want, you loud, voluptuous dapsen?"

( I WANT to know why the lesser is in my private pool! ) Visser Three shouted. He sounded extremely unhappy. And… I care why?

" Don't care, Visser Three," I said, although of course I did know why he was there. " If you want to come in and watch the news, and be QUIET about it, just say the word. If you're going to be a whiny dapsen, as you are ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, then get out of here!"

Visser Three seemed to consider my overly generous offer. Good. It won't happen every freaking day! Me being nice does not grow on trees!

( Fine. I'll come in and watch the news with you. ) he said at last. ( It's better than watching the lesser chow down on my precious Kandrona! )

I lazily grabbed my door remote and pressed "open". The door slid open (NO!), letting him into my room.

" Hello, Visser Three," I said, relaxing onto the sofa again.

( Hello, Visser One, ) he replied wearily.

And he stood and I sat, and we watched the news. For two hours. Yes, that is definitely my idea of relaxation… I even think Visser Three fell asleep at one point! Either that or he had something large stuck in his nasal tract.

But in any case, this family reunion wasn't quite as eventful as I had planned it to be… I mean, it was nice seeing my sister and her friends, but I guess I prefer the normal routine.

And seriously, when watching the news with your worst enemy is better than your family reunion, it's time to think of making a few changes in the future, wouldn't you say?

* * *

**There it is, the long-awaited chapter eight! I know, it's not that great, and not that funny, but I hope you guys liked it anyway! **

**I just want to tell you guys THANK YOU for the immensely flattering amount of MAIL I have received over the past week from people demanding me to update. It's here at last, and without your persisting it probably wouldn't be! So thanks for all the support, and for making this series as popular as it is. :) Till next time! **

**REVIEW, DAMMIT:P**


	9. Here Comes Norm!

**A/N:** Wahoooo! Finally, **chapter nine**! The reason I said finally is that this chapter has been planned and half-written since all the way back when I was still writing **Visser Three's Diary**! It's a great chapter, however scarring it is, and I'd like to thank **Concrete Angel **for helping me come up with it: We were at Magic Mountain Water Park when we thought of it, and we were laughing so hard we rolled around in the grass lol! So anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did:D Also… this is a long chapter. :P Please bear with it. XD

There is a **crucial plot element **in this chapter. It will really help the development of certain aspects of this trilogy. However, don't forget to peel your eyes… as not to miss it completely!

_**Dedicated to Concrete Angel. Thanks once again for helping out with our "invention", lol.**_

_**Also, to Edriss and Pharrells Girl, for both letting me read the CF parts of your stories you'd promised me for a while now. ;) Now it's your turn, enjoy!**_

Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs.

**"Visser Three's Journal"**

**_Chapter 9_**  
**Here Comes Norm!**

May 25th

Dear Journal,

Wow! Sixteen whole days since I've written in you, Journal. Sorry, it's just… nothing much has been happening lately. Just the old, boring routine, and not much to talk about. But hey, now I'm back, and you know what _that _means…

… YET ANOTHER HORRIBLE, SCARRING THING HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE! WAHOO! YEAH! Aren't horrible events GREAT?

So, I guess now you're wondering what exactly happened to me now… And I guess I have no choice but to tell you. So, here goes, you'll be sorry Journal…

Early this morning, I awoke to a large, noisy bang on the wall next door, followed by a sharp scream.

" AAAAAHHH!"

As you may have guessed, it was Visser One. She's the only Yeerk inconsiderate enough to scream her guts out at seven thirty in the morning. I mean HELLO, this is a PUBLIC PLACE.

I rolled my eyes. _What did she do now! _

And then, beyond myself, I got up reluctantly from the bed in which I'd slept last night, and walked calmly toward the door.

" Visser, Visser!" Iniss shrieked, running toward me. His facial expression was like nothing I'd ever seen! And since we're talking about Iniss, that's _got _to be awfully bad.

( Iniss! ) I said in half-hearted horror. ( Lose the face, damn it! )

Iniss immediately softened up his features.

( Better, ) I allowed.

" Visser, Visser!" Iniss started whining again.

( WHAT! ) I practically screamed.

" Visser One is being ATTACKED!" he said.

( Ha ha, ) I said. ( Very funny, Iniss. )

" No it's true!" Iniss insisted.

( Iniss, if you're trying to -- ) I started, annoyed.

" VISSER, COME ON!" Iniss practically screamed.

I rolled my eyes and followed him to the door, walking casually.

" Go AWAY, you dapsen!" I heard Visser One yell firmly.

I started running, curious as to what was happening, and almost ran over Iniss in the process. I leapt out into the hall, where I looked toward Visser One's room to see… some incredibly FAT guy standing in the doorway!

( What the f -- ) I started.

" GO AWAY!" Visser One shrieked.

" Why?" the fat guy replied dumbly.

At that moment, I realized it was time to intervene. I galloped casually over to the fat guy, and poked him lightly on the shoulder to get his attention, which worked.

( I take it you're new here! ) I said genuinely.

" Yes!" the guy replied just as genuinely.

I rolled my eyes. We had been getting a _lot _of new interns lately. But… why a fat guy? What could a fat guy do in the military? _Fall_ on everyone to death?

( Okay, rule number one… ) I said.

I looked into the room and saw Visser One standing in a corner, her gaze murderous, while she covered herself with a bedsheet. My eyes went wide.

( Never, EVER disturb Visser One while she's trying to get dressed. Your head could come off. )

" What, are you her mate?" the guy asked, awestruck.

" No!" Visser One and I both replied quickly.

( I meant _she'd _shoot your head off, not me! ) I practically screamed, while trying to not make it _look _like I was practically screaming.

" Ah." the guy said understandingly.

I looked at him, obviously starting to get annoyed. ( Okay, would you just LEAVE? )

" Whyyyyy?" The guy looked like he was about to CRY.

( Because you're irritating me. ) I said. ( I have a tail. I am not afraid to use it. )

" Use it for what?" This guy just gets thicker and thicker.

( To CHOP your HEAD off, you DAPSEN! ) I yelled. ( Now GO AWAY! )

Sullen-looking, the guy backed off. He turned around and walked away without saying another word.

I glared at Visser One, still covering herself. ( What, you thought he was going to rape you or something? Learn to lock your door, dimwit. )

---

Back in the safety and comfort of my own chambers, leaving Visser One some privacy (which apparently she doesn't _need _since she leaves her god damn door wide open!), I decided to morph human to fully _enjoy _my freshly-cooked bowl of oatmeal. See, Andalites absorb nutrients through their hooves, and they only eat grass… so not only would Alloran just kind of _not _absorb the oatmeal, but even if he did I wouldn't be able to taste it. So human was the way to go.

After getting dressed at last, Visser One came to retrieve me in my room. She tackled me and almost sent my bowl of oatmeal toppling to the ground. But unfortunately for her, I caught it with a nimble human hand.

" Shit!" she cursed.

" Hehe. You lose," I said cockily.

I punched her lightly in the stomach, and – oh lords. Her sweater. It was so SOFT!

" Can --" she looked slightly creeped out as she stared down forbiddingly at my hand. " Can you stop touching my stomach now?"

" No way, Visser One." I said, my mouth full of newly-placed oatmeal. " It's soft."

" Let go of me, you're freaking me out!"

I laughed sardonically. " Your own FAULT for wearing soft sweaters!"

Visser One was just about to reply when I heard a familiar, dapsenish sound coming from my computer console.

- Ding dong DING!

" YOU'VE GOT _MAIL_!" the shrill voice rang out as if getting e-mail was the most wonderful, most exciting thing in the universe. " YOU'VE GOT _MAIL_!"

Visser One almost leaped in surprise. " What the Seerow was THAT?"

" I'VE GOT _MAIL_!" I yelled, annoyed, mimicking the voice and throwing my hands gingerly into the air as I walked to the infernal console.

_I have _got _to disconnect that voice… _I thought to myself bitterly.

I stepped up to the console and pressed the "Mail" button. My inbox opened up, and I saw a new message from "Unknown Sender". The subject was "Pool Party".

" Ahh, maybe he means that pool party we've been invited to tonight?" Visser One wondered from behind me. She had probably walked up to see the message.

" Visser Five's party," I added. " Probably."

There's something I forgot to mention: A few days ago, we had all been invited to a pool party in honor of Visser Five's birthday. No, not a _Yeerk pool party_, you dimwits! A SWIMMING pool party. See, there's a huge indoor swimming pool complex on the sixth floor of the Empire ship. Swimming laps is a good way to build up your muscles. But for tonight, Visser Five had booked the pool for his party.

" Sooo…" Visser One said, snapping me out of my thoughts. " Are you going to open the message or what?"

" Yes Visser, open the message!" Iniss bounded onto my shoulder from out of NOWHERE.

" What?" I said. " Oh. Yeah."

I clicked on the link, and a long message popped onto the screen. The three of us leaned down to read it…

---

_To: _"Visser Three" (The. Prime (a) theempire.uni)

_Cc: _"Visser One" (NumberOneVisser (a)theempire.uni or visser. one (a) "Councilor Three" (yay. pencils (a)theempire.uni), Iniss 226 (I. Love. V1 (a)visseronefanclub.uni), "Councilor Seven" (CouncilorSeven22 (a) theempire.uni)

_From: _"Norm" (Hork-BajirRCool (a) theempire.uni)

_Subject: _Pool Party

Hi. Uh. Hi, my name's Norm! I'm a new intern in the Empire Building. I was recently invited to a pool party and realized all of you were invited as well… Since I already kind of knew Visser Three, I decided to send this to him and some of his friends who were also going. See… I need some advice. It is my first public party in a long time. I am a thirty-year-old Yeerk with a well-fit body and muscles EVERYWHERE. What type of swimsuit do you think I should wear? And what color? I have brown hair and blue eyes. If one of you is female, that would be great, because I'd LOVE to get a female's point of view on this as well.

Please reply soon!

Thank you,

Norm

---

I closed the message.

Visser One, Iniss and I all sort of stared.

" Excuse me?" Iniss exclaimed. " _Norm_!"

" What kind of _party _isn't PUBLIC!" Visser One added.

" My FRIENDS?" I waved my hands at Iniss and Visser One. " _You _people!"

" Ditto!" Visser One shrieked.

Iniss looked kind of down.

" It's okay Iniss," said Visser One, patting him on the back. " You're special."

" She touched me!" Iniss seemed to deflate as he fell almost gracefully to the ground, unconscious, of course.

" … In a _disturbing _kind of way…" Visser One finished, rolling her eyes at the trembling wreck which was Iniss.

" You are a sad little creature," I pointed out.

" _You're _one to talk." Visser One replied. Then she frowned, looking serious. " How does this Norm guy know you, anyway?"

I sighed with my human mouth. " How should I know? I've never met a NORM before in my life! … He's probably a stalker or something."

" Stop flattering yourself. Who would want to stalk you?"

" Anyone who's desperate enough to stalk _you_!" Hehe. Good one, Visser Three.

" Ha, ha, very funny." Visser One glared.

We both looked back at the console as a wobbly, pathetic Iniss got back to his feet.

" As for Norm…" I said. " I guess we'll just have to wait until tonight to figure out who the hell he is."

---

And that's how, at seven thirty, Councilor Four, Visser One, Ellie, Iniss and I all met in front of the pool complex doors. Councilor Four was _already _in his bathing suit, wearing nothing but a pair of green and red shorts – looked like _Christmas_, for the Emperor's sake! And I knew for a fact Ellie was wearing an aquamarine tankini (NOT PINK, FOR ONCE). Iniss was wearing a t-shirt – which he told me he would later take off to "impress Visser One with his muscles" – and a pair of baby blue swim shorts. Visser One was fully clothed, with a white t-shirt and baggy khaki pants, but I could see the black string of her bikini hanging from the back of her shirt. I'd never seen Visser One in her swimsuit – mainly because I don't usually get invited to pool parties like she does. But Visser Five likes me. Even though he and Visser One are the best of friends.

Visser One looked at her watch impatiently. " WHERE is Councilor Eight? It's seven thirty-one!"

( Oh WOW. ) I said bitterly, having morphed back to Andalite a while back. ( ONE MINUTE. )

" One minute is a big deal for him!" Visser One exclaimed. " Guys, I'm worried. What if – oh! Councilor Eight!"

Visser One's eyes lit up and filled to the rims with bright, shining love. I spun around and saw him coming, with his wind-blown blond hair, and the tan that Visser One loves so much… he was wearing long, royal blue swimming shorts topped by a white tee, and his eyes were bright and loving at the sight of his beloved mate. It made me bitter to think that Visser One, so undeserving, could experience love and affection by the tons in an Empire who adored her – while I sat alone and wiltering with no attention, except from her. And her attention isn't exactly the type I'm speaking of…

… Whoa! Why am I divulging my deepest secrets here? I mean geez, I know you're a Journal, but enough is enough! Besides, all this talk of affection is making my evil brain turn to mush.

Back to the point, Councilor Eight walked up to us, and Visser One ran into his arms. He held her close, dug his face into her hair and closed his eyes. They rocked gently, whispering sweet things to each other and kissing softly from time to time. Iniss looked on in absolute jealousy. Ellie too – I think she has a wee little crush on Councilor Eight. Councilor Four just seemed to think it was sweet.

" Come on, Visser Three, quit looking so angry!" he said happily. " Love is so sweet, and they love each other so much. It's nice to see."

( I do not look angry, ) I snapped privately, defensively. ( Why would I be angry? )

" How can you not be jealous of him?" Councilor Four teased.

Oooookay… The more I think about it, the more I think maybe that guy Councilor Two, from the gym on my first day, was right: Maybe Councilor Four _did _have a crush on Visser One…

… It certainly wouldn't surprise me. Ever since the cow in my bedroom, I pretty much realized I'd seen everything, and nothing surprises me anymore.

( EEW! ) I exclaimed, shocked. ( Councilor Four, you KNOW I don't think of Visser One like that! And neither should _you_! )

" I know, I don't," Councilor Four laughed enigmatically. " I was just teasing, no need to be so defensive."

I glared at him, and Visser One kissed Councilor Eight's lips before turning back to me, staring me through with her black eyes. " What are you two talking about?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

I smirked. ( We're talking about how we're going to ferociously murder you, you dapsen. )

" Oh, I am so terrified," Visser One said lamely, putting her hands on her hips as Councilor Eight held her waist.

I rolled my eyes. ( I have to go to the bathroom. )

Visser One nodded. " Thanks for sharing… We'll see you inside. Unfortunately."

I glared daggers at her before I spun around to hopefully find the bathroom in this place before Alloran's intestines exploded. I found it easily enough – it was in a little corner behind the buffet table. Convenient enough, I guess, as you usually need to shit sometime after you eat like a pig.

Unfortunately, Alloran needs to use the restroom much more often than some people, because he is a senile retard who constantly jabbers about how much he adores his wife. The THING has a wife? Ew.

Her name is Jahar, too. I mean, wasn't there a fricking SHIP called Jahar?

… Ohh… I get it. Maybe ALLORAN named the ship JAHAR after his wife… Duh, Visser Three.

Wow. I'm slow today…

Right, so I walked into the bathroom, and who do I see standing in front of the sinks, tweezing his… his _eyelashes_?

That FAT guy from this morning! In a pair of pyjama pants!

AT A POOL PARTY.

Once again, I decided it was time to intervene.

( Uh… dude? ) I stepped in. ( … What are you _doing_? )

The fat guy turned his head, causing the skin on his cheeks to ripple like NOTHING I'D EVER SEEN, and smiled broadly at me. " VISSER THREE!"

My eyes widened. ( Yes…? )

" Did you get my message this morning?" Once again he cut me off.

( What message? ) I asked, perplexed.

" You know!" the fat guy exclaimed.

I didn't. Or at least, at first I didn't… but suddenly, it began to dawn on me. I remembered this morning, Visser One, Iniss and I crowding around my computer console… tidbits of the message… _I am a thirty-year-old Yeerk with a well-fit body and muscles EVERYWHERE. What type of swimsuit do you think I should wear? And what color? I have brown hair and blue eyes… _All of a sudden, I really understood! I grabbed the fat guy by the shoulders.

( YOU'RE NORM? ) I shrieked hysterically.

" Uh… yah…" the fat guy said in his booming voice. " So, did you get Norm's message?"

( Uh… I thought you were Norm. )

" I am Norm!" he exclaimed as if confused.

I decided not to ask. ( Yes, I did get your message. But unfortunately, I did not have sufficient time to reply. _Did _anyone reply? )

Norm smiled brightly at this question. " Yes, actually Councilor Three replied to Norm. He told Norm that a man with big muscles" – MUSCLES alright! – "such as himself should wear a tight-fitting swimsuit. So Norm bought one… and now he has to go put it on. Wait here, Visser Three."

I watched, dumbfounded, as Norm walked away into a nearby stall, which I vaguely wondered if he would even FIT into.

( Why is your name Norm? ) I asked as I began my morph to human for the party. I was using Jamie Kleine.

" Norm is Norm's name!"

( Are you a human? ) I asked as the flesh on my arms turned pink.

" Norm is a Yeerk!" Norm yelled, sounding slightly insulted.

" Ookeeeyyss…" I decided to wait until my mouth had fully appeared before continuing. " Okay, so why don't you have a regular Yeerk name?"

" Norm does," Norm said.

" Okay, then what is it?" I asked, starting to feel a bit annoyed. At that moment my morph completed, leaving me standing in the bathroom in my tight morphing shorts. I walked into a free stall to change into the swimsuit I'd brought in my backpack. Red and black swimsuit. Hehe.

" Norm forgot his Yeerk name after he banged his head against a rock," Norm explained, as if it was perfectly normal to refer to oneself in the third person.

" Oh. Okay." I said, not planning on going there anytime soon.

A few moments of silence as both Norm and I changed into our swimsuits. Then…

" Norm needs Visser Three's help." Norm's low voice echoed against the walls.

" Why?" I inquired.

" Norm's stuck!" he yelled, despaired.

" You're stuck where?" I exclaimed. Oh dear lords, the poor man had gotten stuck in the stall! I knew it!

" Norm's stuck in his bathing suit!" Norm yelled.

" WHAT?" I exclaimed.

" HELP, VISSER THREE!" Norm half-sobbed.

I scowled at myself. Why always me? Why not _Visser One _for a change? I rolled my eyes, cursed Councilor Three for advising Norm to wear a tight-fitting bathing suit, and walked out of my stall, setting out to help an incredibly fat man either _in _or _out _of his bathing suit. HOPEFULLY, _HOPEFULLY_ IN… Nobody needs to see that, not even me…

I stopped in front of Norm's stall and knocked. " It's Visser Three," I spat.

" THANK YOU!" Norm exclaimed gratefully, opening the door.

Closing my eyes I walked into that stall – or at least _attempted _to, since with NORM in there it was practically impossible to fit another person without suffocating them in his flub!

_Why did you have to come to the bathroom, Visser Three? _I thought bitterly to myself. _Why couldn't you just morph and pee in some little hole somewhere?_

Ah well… no turning back now. I looked at Norm. Even with my back pressed firmly against the wall, there was about an inch of space between Norm and myself in the stall. Not even. But now was no time for self-pity – I had to "rescue" Norm before some popular "male" came in and realized I was in a stall with some guy… It'd be all over the press! I'd never be Visser One then!

I looked down at Norm's bathing suit. Thank God it was _covering _him, at least. Still, I almost slapped him AND myself. It was a FRICKING SPEEDO! Never mind what color, it was a SPEEDO! I was going to KILL Councilor Three.

However, as for fitting and covering the guy, I couldn't see what the problem was… Except for the fact that it was so tight that his fat hung over the rims of the bathing suit, it seemed to fit just fine. I looked at him, perplexed.

" What's the problem? It covers you fine."

Norm blushed and slowly turned around – with difficulty in such a cramped stall. Then, once his backside finally faced me, I looked at him, and down at his bathing suit, where I saw… uh. Never mind what I saw.

Oh, lords, save me from the permanent images…

Staring at the back of his neck the rest of the time, with heat flushing my cheeks, I yanked and pulled on his too-tight Speedo. Up, go UP you damn thing! I yanked hard a couple times, and finally, after about ten minutes of yanking and pulling, the bathing suit went up – and stayed up. Halleluja!

" Okay," I told Norm sternly once he'd turned back around. " Just don't jump like a retard all day, because it could slip right off, and trust me, you wouldn't want that!"

" Norm will not jump like a retard, he promises!" Norm promised.

" Good." I said. " Well… I'm off to the party."

I turned around and walked out of the bathroom, knowing Norm was following me outside, but not caring any more than that.

" Where were you?" Councilor Four asked, running up to me as I crossed the floor. Around me, Yeerks were already starting to enjoy themselves, swimming in the pool, chatting by the poolside, sliding down the tube slide Visser Five had made himself for the occasion…

I rolled my eyes. " Looonngg story… Just forget about it, okay?"

Councilor Four shrugged and smiled. " Fair enough. Look, I'll show you our spot."

He led me to a spot close enough to the pool, but far enough so we wouldn't get splashed every two seconds. Councilor Four, Iniss, and Ellie's towels were spread on the floor. I added mine to the circle, and as I looked around me, I noticed that Visser One and Councilor Eight's towels were laid side by side a few feet away from us.

I lifted my eyes, hopefully to spot the stupid thing Visser One was doing… I looked around, and suddenly I saw her smiling brightly and laughing while talking to two girls in front of her, whose backs were to me. The two girls, one blonde and one brunette, were sitting in chairs beside the pool, while Visser One stood right on the edge, behind them in my point of view. She laughed and squealed as Visser Five walked over and picked her up by the stomach, lifting her clear off the ground. She screamed joke threats at him as, amused, he literally threw her into the pool.

With a splash she landed into the water! They all waited until she surfaced, a few moments later. She laughed wholeheartedly, keeping her head easily above the surface as they all laughed with her. _So typical of Visser One…_ I thought resentfully. _She's either the center of attention, or WITH the center of attention._

Visser One swam to the side of the pool and lifted herself out of the water. For the first time, I actually saw her in entity… She was wearing a decent gold-and-black string bikini, bottomed by a matching "boy short" bottom, which brought out, all at once, her porcelain-pale skin and the jet black of her hair and eyes. Even though she is my worst enemy, I couldn't help but stare as she walked over to her towel to pick something up. See, Visser One, by working out and being a military commander for a big part of her life, has given most of her hosts the type of physique it takes to wear a string bikini and look _amazing_. And of course, her gorgeous face didn't ruin the picture in the least…

… However, if she still had long hair, it would have been absolutely perfect. No doubt _too _perfect for someone to think about his worst enemy.

I forced myself to stop staring at my archrival in a bikini and concentrated on the two other girls. You see, I knew these two girls: They were Visser One's two best friends, Jaell One-Eight-Two (the brunette) and Jiana Nine-Four-Six (who also happens to be my sister). They also happen to be very popular around the Empire… Geesh. Whether or not this is based completely off the fact that they are best friends with Visser One, I guess we'll never know.

I walked up to their chairs and stuck my head between them. " Hello, ladies."

Jiana turned around and smiled. " Hey there, brother! It's been a while."

" Yes, well, I suppose it has. I --"

" Visser Three!" Visser One shot from behind me, prodding me painfully in the ribs.

" OUCH, Visser One!" I yelped angrily, spinning around to glare at her. _Eyes above the collarbone, _I reminded myself sternly. _I can't give Visser One the satisfaction of knowing that I am even SLIGHTLY fazed by her stunning appearance!_ " Must you always have such PAINFUL means of getting my attention?"

" No shit, Visser Three," she spat. She turned to her two best friends. " Jiji, Jaell? I'm going over to Visser Five's slide. Care to join?"

" Sorry Rissa…" Jiana said with a laugh, calling Visser One by the nickname she'd adopted for her friend. " I'm way too comfortable here."

" Yeah, same here," Jaell laughed. " You go ahead, though! We'll watch."

Visser One sighed. I poked her shoulder, twisting my finger around painfully. She drew her arm away.

" I'll go," I said. " Nothing better to do. Plus," I smirked, " it would annoy you beyond belief to have ME for company up there…"

Visser One rolled her eyes irritably at me, then spun around and swaggered over to the slide lineup, which was on the other side of the pool. We crossed over to the other side, then stood on the stairs to wait in line. She was first, I was second. But only then did I look up and notice who was directly before us…

Oh my lords.

NORM.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who'd noticed him… Visser One looked at me, her face contorted into a disgusted expression. I have to say I agreed with her… It was awfully gross.

She mouthed "Speedo" as if she was about to throw up. I smirked at her, loving this. She was so disgusted… And Visser One feeling uncomfortable always made my day.

A few moments passed, then suddenly it was Norm's turn. He watched as, uneasily, the lifeguard gave him the go.

" Yay!" Norm exclaimed as he giggled merrily and threw himself down the too-narrow tube slide.

Visser One, who was of course standing right in front of me, turned around and looked at me in a very unimpressed way.

" Geez, these oatmealized Yeerks who deliberately take incredibly overweight hosts…" she shook her head angrily. " They drive me insane! Do you _know _how long it took Visser Five to build this slide? Which, by the way, has a five-hundred pound WEIGHT RESTRICTION?"

" Oh come on Visser One, give the guy a break!" I exclaimed. " I'm sure he doesn't _really _weigh five hundred pounds."

" Close enough! He weighed exactly four-hundred ninety-nine point three. We had to let him on anyway, the madness!"

" YOU are a dope."

" Me? A dope? Excuse me Visser but I _have _been staying away from oatmeal for three weeks now. That should count for something!"

" Great. I'll have the gold medal made by tomorrow then."

She just gave me a cold stare and turned back around to face the low-rank we had employed as the lifeguard for the party, at whom, of course, she glared angrily just as he looked away quickly and started whistling. Heh. I almost laughed.

" Ahem." The lifeguard blabbered, addressing Visser One of course (no seriously people, he'd just be blabbering at some random GUY). " You can – may – can -- … may?"

" Just get on with it!" Visser One snapped.

" Yes, of course Visser!" the lifeguard trembled. " You… may go now."

" Jesus Christ! Fricking crackhead!" … and there went Visser One again, muttering in her wide variety of human slang she picked up while on Earth for a YEAR learning about humans. Or more specifically the human reproductory tract.

Without looking back at me she sat down and pushed herself slowly down the slide. Her jet black hair, which she'd placed in a ponytail a few moments before, looked really nice from the back. As you know, she'd cut her hair a while back, but as I mentioned it _had_ been a little while, and her ever-silky hair was slowly starting to grow back.

Not long after she disappeared from sight I heard a damp "THUMP". Confused, I listened, hoping to hear the sound again and maybe decipher it's meaning. But, to my great awe, I didn't hear a sound. I heard voices.

Voices, coming from inside the slide.

" What's going on?" yelled a female voice I immediately recognized as Visser One's.

" Norm's stuck!" shrieked… well… Norm.

Visser One, of course, not yet knowing who Norm was exactly, remained confused.

" Who's Norm?" she asked.

" I'M Norm!" Norm exclaimed.

" HOLY – I meeean… YOU'RE NORM? Speedo guy?" Visser One yelped.

" Yes, Norm is Norm," Norm said. " And are you the nice-looking female creature I saw this morning in a doorway?"

That did it. Without warning, Visser One started _shrieking_. I heard repeated "THUMPS" and "Ows" from Norm as he apparently got kicked lower down the slide. Soon enough, I heard a wet sound as Norm became dislodged… and he and Visser One both went tumbling down into the water! I watched as Norm landed with a deafening splash, and Visser One a split second later, right on top of him. The lifeguard gave me the go as Visser One pulled herself out of the water. I slid down the slide… it was awfully fast, for a bunch of plastic! But when I landed into the water, I went under… right under Norm! Panicking, I tried to surface… but Norm was covering me! I took a breath in my panic and caught only water. Choking, I fought to get to the surface, which I finally did moments later… but I was choking so much I couldn't swim!

Voices rang out from the side of the pool. Vaguely, I noticed Visser One and Councilor Eight standing there.

" I think he's drowning," Visser One said. " Go save him."

" You want to save him?" Councilor Eight yelled, appalled. " I _thought _you hated him."

" I do! But how am _I _supposed to cause his death if he randomly drowns?" Visser One exclaimed. " Please go save him?"

" No," Councilor Eight said stubbornly.

" FINE THEN," Visser One said. Then, to my great surprise, I heard a splash as she jumped into the water! I fought and coughed for a moment longer before soft hands slid around my waist and dragged me, with great difficulty, to the edge.

She got out first and pulled me up. There I lay, coughing and spurting water, breathing heavily… and I noticed Norm standing nearby.

" Is Visser Three okay?" Norm asked me, though no one else got that.

" Yes, unfortunately he'll be fine," Visser One said coldly, with a smirk in my favor. Our eyes met for a brief moment before we quickly turned away.

" Okay then," Norm said. " Then Norm has to do something."

I sat up, and Visser One, Councilor Eight and I all watched as Norm backed up slowly, then stopping… and smiling wildly at us.

" Here comes Norm!" Norm shrieked, running and literally launching himself into the pool.

" Oh NO!" Visser One screamed. She got up and started to back away, but too late! Norm's behemoth splash reached us all, and I heard shrieks from the entire complex as the water poured down like rain all around us.

I saw Visser One walking away, telling Councilor Eight she was going to the drinks bar. And I saw Norm staring at her as she went. Then, Norm got out of the pool and started to follow her. I suddenly got an ugly premonition… I got up and, when Councilor Eight wasn't looking, followed along.

Visser One got her drink and went to relax in a secluded area, where you could practically not even hear the music playing. Norm and I both followed. I hid behind a fake tree as Norm approached Visser One.

" Hello," Norm said as he sat next to her.

Visser One gave him a warning glare, but he ignored it and started to touch her arm. Visser One pulled away. " Don't touch me!"

She stood up, and so did Norm. She stepped back and he stepped forward.

" Why?" he asked. " Visser One is pretty. Why can't Norm touch her?"

Oh lords, he really was clueless, wasn't he?

" Leave me alone!" Visser One shrieked. Her back was against the wall, and she didn't have a Dracon beam to fight off a guy three times her size.

" Why?" he asked as he came closer and tried to kiss her.

At that moment, beyond myself, I ran out of the tree as Visser One shrieked. I ran up and grabbed Norm's collar and pushed him away.

" Visser Three!"

" OFF HER!" I yelled.

At that moment, I saw a handsome, brown-haired guy come into the scene. He saw Visser One's frightened yet angry face, and saw me, as if in a dream, confronting Norm. It was Councilor Two. He walked up to Visser One and extended his arms to her. Looking over at us, she let herself be welcomed close to him.

" Are you okay?" he asked her.

" Yeah, fine," Visser One said, looking at me the whole time.

I didn't care if Norm didn't know what he was doing. I didn't care if Visser One was my worst enemy, either. I just didn't care anymore.

" Norm, you can't just do that!" I yelled.

" Why?" he asked.

" Because you don't have permission to!" I replied.

" Neither does Visser Three!" Norm said.

" Of course I don't!" I spat, not even sure myself anymore why I was defending Visser One, just driven by some unknown force it seemed. " And I don't try to attack her! SO LAY OFF HER!" Norm backed up, and I came forward and shoved him into the pool. Then I came back, and realized that Visser One and Councilor Two were gone.

During the rest of the party, I noticed that Visser One spent a lot more time than usual with Councilor Two. But when we did cross each other, she looked at me and mouthed, "Thanks."

She didn't know why I had stepped in to protect her. Neither did I, not in the least! But I certainly am having lots of time to think about it now, nearing midnight, as I write these lines… Getting sleepy though. I think I'll call it a night, and try to forget about it in the morning. By writing it all down I have to say I feel at least a little better about today…

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

* * *

**WOW THAT WAS LONG! SIXTEEN PAGES! -wipes forehead- Ahh well, I guess you can just call it a deluxe edition. :P Hope you enjoyed, and please REVIEW! I worked WAY TOO HARD on this nonstop, five hours a day for two days to NOT get a good number of reviews. DO NOT IGNORE THE TINY PURPLE BUTTON!**

**Kharina: Halfway there! Only eight more chapters before chapter 18:D**

**Ember: Five more chapters before The Hunt:D**

**Closet Fans: Hope you enjoyed:D**


	10. My Side of the Escape

**A/N: **Congratulations to **Ember Nickel** for winning the second Visser Three's Journal contest! To see what Ember won, visit my profile page. :) Ember chose **Tobias **as its character to feature in the chapter. Also, Ember had the choice to create a dialogue to include in it. Ember's dialogue is:

_(Hork-Bajir at seven o'clock!)_

_(Ah. Thanks.)_

_(You're welcome. Least I can do.)_

_(Don't talk that way!)_

_(What do I do?)_

_(You...you keep the spirit. Of what we're fighting for. Kind of like that honor deal, that Elfangor had.)_

_An uneasy pause, then: (Has all that been public?)_

With that said, this chapter is set in **Animorphs #15: The Escape**.

**Thanks again, Ember! And of course, this chapter is dedicated to you. Hope you enjoy it!**

**---**

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 10_  
My Side of The Escape**

May 28th

Dear Journal,

For the first time in a week, I was in the black waiting room. I saw Ellie, her hair hanging more dreadfully than before. She looked up at me with glimmering green eyes.

" Like, hello Visser!" she said.

_No, NO! _my mind exclaimed, but I didn't listen. ( Hi Ellie. )

Then, as usual, Iniss walked into the room with his thinking cap, his buck teeth and his broken red bottle.

( What's wrong, Iniss? ) I asked again.

" I can't find any water!" he sobbed.

( Water? ) I asked skeptically.

" Yeah, I need water to fill up my bottle!" he exclaimed. I looked down at the bottle, and this time I tried to protest.

( Iniss, your bottle is broken, ) I said. ( You can't -- )

_Haha, don't worry. It's not going to last very long anyway, _Visser One's voice rang out suddenly, cutting me off.

( Visser One! What the hell are you talking about? ) I asked, suddenly feeling despaired. Lost. Frustrated.

I expected the usual "_You're such an idiot, you know that?_". But no… this time, she said something different. And ten times more disturbing.

It's all your fault, Visser Three! Her accusing voice taunted me. All your fault!

( WHAT is my fault? ) I yelled to the ceiling. ( … ANSWER ME! )

" Who are you talking to, Visser Three?" Ellie asked. At least this part was normal…

I pointed to the wall. ( Visser One. Didn't you hear her? )

" Visser One?" Ellie repeated, as if lost.

It's all your fault, all your fault, all your fault…

" Visser!" Iniss pulled on my fur and repeated, " I need some water to fill up my bottle!"

I looked at him and saw Ellie, from the corner of my eye, looking at me with the strangest expression in her eyes. Her eyes glimmered red.

Visser Three…

( SHUT UP, VISSER ONE! ) I screamed, clutching at my head. ( LEAVE ME ALONE! )

Visser Three!

( NO! )

" VISSER THREE!"

I awoke in a startle, only to find Visser One's pretty face staring down at me, unimpressed.

( Visser One! ) I exclaimed. ( What are you doing here? )

She raised an eyebrow. " You were yelling at me in your sleep. Are our arguments really that bad?"

I smirked. ( Do you ever doubt it? )

She smirked back and punched me. " Never did, never will."

( Never do, ) I added, pushing her clear off my bed. Yes, she was sitting on the bed.

Or had been, at least… Hehe.

" I just got back from Earth yesterday, but I'm going back this morning. I have to oversee an Earth project today," she chimed merrily. " And you are coming as well."

That sent me bolting to the ceiling! Well… okay, not the ceiling ITSELF… but the lights tied to it. I almost broke one clear off, too! What? My bed is SPRINGY!

( WHAT? ) I exclaimed once I was once again stable on the bed, or lack thereof. ( WHY? )

" Because YOU are responsible for the Andalite bandits, AND Earth, last time I checked." Visser One snapped. " You must be there to catch them if they show their filthy faces."

I glared at her. ( I'm not going with you, ) I snapped.

Visser One laughed cruelly. "Who said anything about coming with ME?"

And that's how, four hours later, I was driving my own Blade ship to Earth, at speeds that would make a god damn Garatron beg for mercy.

I had nothing for equipment. I had nothing for a crew except for a bunch of fat, bumbling Hork-Bajir dressed in red diving suits who wouldn't stop whining that they didn't want to go in the "wet", and one random Taxxon – the co-pilot, and no, it wasn't Joe – who kept snarling about my "idiotic generation".

" Back when I was a grub," he muttered bitterly in practically incomprehensible Taxxon gibberish as I tried to maneuver the ship around an asteroid before I shot it into Zero-Space. " We had none of this Andalite-Controller fad… Andalites don't make damn good drivers! Sweet blessed Kandrona, what is the Empire coming to with an incapable female-hosted Yeerk in power, a crazy pipsqueak commanding Leera, and Andalites at the helm of our ships? …"

And on and on he went, causing me to wonder why the old fart was even here. Lords know he wasn't helping the INCAPABLE ANDALITE drive the fricking ship!

One particular Hork-Bajir in the back lifted his arm. " V-Visser!"

For the Emperor's sake, he reminded me of Iniss. ( WHAT? )

" D-Do we have any motion sickness bags?" he squeaked. " I get m-motion sick when we transfer to Z-Z-Zero-Space."

Oh, for the love of… ( Throw up in whatever you can find, just NOT ON MY FLOOR! )

The Taxxon frowned as well as a Taxxon can.

" Back when I was a grub, we killed off inadequate host bodies right away!" he scowled. " There was none of that attractive host body deal we seem to find among our officers these days… and that girl is too young and too prissy to be leading an army, mate." – oh great, he was BRITISH, too! A British Taxxon! Or at least one who liked England. – " Hopefully the Council will soon learn to stop acting on infatuation and boot her out of office! Back in my day we didn't allow military leaders to have female hosts anyway, they distract the sense out of the other Vissers…"

I shot the ship into Zero-Space, causing a few of the Hork-Bajir to become hysterical (haven't they ever been on a fricking SHIP before?) as the Taxxon scowled on and on… I ignored him – actually, I even gloated a little that someone other than ME finally realized that Visser One was completely overrated.

Visser One was no doubt already on Earth – she had to be there to supervise the whole thing, or almost. Plus, she had left four hours earlier than I had (right after she told me I wouldn't be travelling with her), and her ship was faster.

She would definitely be on Earth by now. And soon, as soon as we got out of Zero-Space and into Earth's system, which should not take long, so would we. It's a good thing we got the ship's Zero-Space transfer log fixed (it took eight hours to get to the home world in the first place because my freaking ship just WOULD NOT STAY in Zero-Space), that's for sure. How I'd known I would soon need it though was beyond me.

( Prepare to exit Zero-Space! ) I called out.

The Hork-Bajir braced themselves, praying to the great lords. The Taxxon scowled some more. I decked the Zero-Space transfer button, and –

-- WOW. That was lucky. We landed right behind Earth's little moon, and were now… heading directly for it in an inevitable crashlanding!

" OH MY ZELHARI!" some Hork-Bajir screamed, while another hyperventilated audibly.

" STEER, you peabrain, STEER!" the Taxxon shrilly commanded.

( Are you questioning my abilities, low-rank? ) I cruelly spat.

" WHO YEH CALLING LOW-RANK, YEH GIT?" the Taxxon shot back.

( You, and if you don't shut up, I will personally fry your flub with a Dracon cannon! ) I yelped, as this unworthy Taxxon was distracting me from flying AWAY from the moon.

The Iniss-like Hork-Bajir in the back threw up violently. He retched and retched and coughed for about five minutes before passing out next to his hyperventilating comrade. Who the hell gives THIS to a Visser as a crew? Am I simply doomed to being unlucky forever, or is it just karma? I knew I should have never eaten that stupid Elfangor! He was damn CURSED!

After wallowing in self-pity for a little while, I found in in my generous heart to save myself – oh yeah, and the crew – from certain peril. I managed to turn the ship within meters of collision with the moon (and creating even more craters than it already had) while the elderly Taxxon muttered harsh pretenses, and the Hork-Bajir in the back belched out all his stomach acid. What a lovely trip this was.

We now flew in the general direction of Earth. We were supposed to land in a remote field on "Royan Island". I used the tracker system on my computer to pinpoint the island by simply typing in "Royan Island" and praying it only turned out one possible location… Thankfully for us, it did. I entered the newfound coordinates to the island, then put the ship on autopilot the rest of the way.

" Back in my day, we didn't have no autopilot," the Taxxon snarled. " You young Yeerks are always trying to take the easy way out of things! You use your brand new computers instead of your god damn brains!"

( You know, ) I said smolderingly, ( for someone who was apparently born at the dawn of the universe, you're actually VERY ANNOYING! )

That shut the Taxxon up for a while, though I knew he would soon start yelping and whining again about "back in his day", which was most probably about TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO.

Through the Earth's atmosphere we went, quite surprisingly toward deep blue ocean. Where was the island? … Was it that little dot over there?

Apparently it was, because we were headed right for it! The ship took a sudden dive as I hurried to camouflage it, and we rocketed down toward the island. The Hork-Bajir, who hadn't secured themselves in, came tumbling down toward the helm of the ship. I moved, afraid to be vomited on. I think the motion sick Hork-Bajir was also afraid of my being vomited on, for he would inevitably lose his head.

Meters from landing, the ship straightened out to keep from crashing. We were in a large field surrounded by forest. I hadn't thought such a huge field could fit on such a tiny dot, but of course, the dot had gotten bigger as we'd descended. So now, having exited the ship (kept carefully camouflaged, of course), my bizarre crew of Hork-Bajir and I trudged toward what I knew was the uninhabited side of the island. Thankfully, that dreadful Taxxon had decided to stay behind – back in his day swimming was not recommended within hosts – and I no longer had to put up with his incessant raving.

Reaching the shore, the Hork-Bajir gingerly touched the water. As you may have guessed, Hork-Bajir don't normally swim.

" Ewwww," one of them whined as another screamed, and another squealed and ran for the cover of the trees.

" I don't want to go into the wet!" yet another said. " Ghafrash skin gets all dintily!"

A few others enthusiastically nodded their agreement. As for me, I was started to lose my patience with this great band of cowards.

( Get into the water! ) I ordered sternly. ( ALL OF YOU! Unless you wish to lose your heads! )

It didn't take much more than that for my dozen Hork-Bajir to leap squarely into the water. They slipped on the diving masks attached to their suits, and turned on the water jets attached to their ankles. The jets propelled them through the water as they advanced further.

In my Andalite shape I waded into the water. Looking around me to make sure there was no one besides the Hork-Bajir watching, I began to morph this giant snake I acquired while "visiting" Visser Four on planet Leera (Visser One had left him in charge of the planet – he'd been thrilled to learn of this, but Visser One had told me later on that it wouldn't be fun and games for Visser Four, who was completely oblivious to the fact that the Leerans are psychic at close range)… My skin turned yellow and viscous as I elongated – and TALK about elongated! I was like a string, for crying out loud! A gross, yellow string which was getting longer and fatter by the second. My Andalite legs disappeared into the sopping bulk.

A snout appeared very abruptly as my face split open, and lips bulged out of my face. My eyes became larger and greener, and by greener I mean my vision was green and everything. How odd. I felt like a fricking Leeran, and the ocean looked slightly like grass – but why am I telling you all this? You don't need to know every single detail of my morph… My Journal is morphing into Elfangor's hirac delest, that's why. And my brain stem is morphing into an Andalite's complex mind, which makes a horrible narrator.

I am a YEERK, not a stupid Andalite! Let's get to the good part already!

Right, so I finished my morph, and zoomed up to join the frolicking Hork-Bajir, who had soon gotten used to the "wet".

( Let's go! ) I snapped in thought-speech, and dove swiftly under the surface, toward Visser One's underwater shark facility. The point of this mission was, apparently, to make shark-Controllers for use on Leera. They'd be like Hork-Bajir, except underwater, since Leera is about ninety percent aquatic. And lords know Hork-Bajir cannot swim worth shit – at least not without freaking WATER JETS attached to their ankles. Pathetic species, that one. I mean, even HUMANS can swim, and that's SAYING something!

The Hork-Bajir adjusted their masks, then proceeded to following me under the water. We made it to the complex in a relatively short time, even though the vomiting Hork-Bajir from a while ago also became seasick… don't ask me how.

I reached the underwater facility and pulled up to the nearest dock.

( You all stay here and wait as back up, ) I ordered the Hork-Bajir. ( I expect you to come the moment I call. )

The Hork-Bajir didn't say anything to protest. But still I heard voices… suddenly, I realized it was a Leeran's voice! It was definitely coming from up inside the facility. Curious, I listened in, undiscovered below sea level. This snake had excellent underwater hearing. As do many things from planet Leera.

It is not Andalite, the Leeran said in the weird Leeran speech, which shouldn't be comprehensive but is. It is a human.

Someone snorted. I recognized the air.

" No, you idiot," a female voice sneered. " It's a gorilla. They are related to humans, but not human. This is an Andalite in morph."

Hehe, bingooo! It was Visser One, as I'd presumed. Only Visser One seems to enjoy explaining to everyone what a gorilla is.

And – OH SHIT! The Andalite bandits were HERE! If the Council found out I was late to catch them, I'd get a do-in for sure!

I beg your pardon, Visser, but –

What happened to the Leeran, I wasn't too sure, but I did know that I was getting the frig into that building and catching those stupid Andalites once and for all!

I broke the surface of the dock water and reared up onto the well-polished floor of the facility. I immediately saw Visser One, in her host Eva, and a gorilla seemingly trying to strangle the Leeran I suspected had just been speaking.

Visser One's face shadowed with contempt as she saw me.

" Visser Three, I assume," she sneered with an eyeroll.

( Well, I see you've made a mess of things, Visser One. ) I boomed loudly, publicly. ( Our old friends the Andalite bandits seem to have annihilated most of your troops. )

" I'd have more troops if not for your interference!" Visser One raged. " You were the one who had the big idea to rally all the Hork-Bajir to your troops and not leave enough for the rest of us! And if you weren't incompetent and a traitor to the Empire, you'd have seen these vermin cleaned up by now. YOU were RESPONSIBLE for getting RID of them!"

And there went Visser One, emphasizing every other word, which she typically only does with me – being that I'm the only one who can make her angry enough to do it.

( Oh, bullshit Visser One, you are just a coward. ) I said dismissively. ( I'm sure the Council of Thirteen will enjoy hearing your pitiful excuses for failure. )

" What the Council will HEAR is how you were LATE, and have allowed a HANDFUL of MORPHING ANDALITES to go UNPUNISHED!" Visser One screamed.

( You'll lose Leeran for us yet, you half-human fool! )

" Like you've already lost Earth, despite the fact that I handed it to you in perfect shape?" Visser One frowned deeper. " Visser Three, WHAT is your PROBLEM? Where have the trainers gone wrong with you? You have a morph-capable body, and an entire YEERK ARMY at your command, and still you can manage to destroy SIX. FRICKING. ANDALITES. SIX, VISSER THREE!"

And… the yelling began. The gorilla, having just punched out a Leeran, stood there eyeing us strangely, as if he was wondering why we weren't paying attention to them. But hey, when Visser One and I argue, nothing else matters to us besides getting our point across brutally and injuring the other's ego. Forget the Andalite bandits. Visser One's ego is impossible to deflate! Still, she's so much fun to provoke.

I looked at the rest of the bandits, still enveloped in the midst of battle. I saw a tiger, a grizzly bear, a wolf, a hawk, and that ONE RANDOM ANDALITE… the usual, bizarre team of guerilla warriors who, strangely enough, always used the same morph.

I wanted to ponder more on this subject… however, just as I was about to reply to Visser One's attack, I heard a huge, deafening alarm resound.

" Brr-REEEET! Brr-REEEET! Warning. Warning. Containment seals will shut down in three minutes. Extreme hazard. Countdown beginning. Countdown will be in intervals of ten seconds. Thank you and have a nice day!"

Visser One's face went white as she attempted to process this information. As for me, I almost laughed at the pure and simple fact that Visser One's COMPUTER had actually wished us a nice day, even after announcing that we just may all die!

The gorilla ran off suddenly. Then, I heard a snippet of thought-speak conversation

Between two of the bandits… I listened intently, to see what they would say.

( Hork-Bajir at seven o'clock! ) said whom I expected was the hawk, soaring near the ceiling to keep a watchful eye on his comrades.

The grizzly bear looked briefly up at him. ( Ah. Thanks. )

( You're welcome, ) the hawk said. ( Least I can do. )

( Don't talk that way! ) the grizzly bear shouted, sounding injured.

( What do I do? ) the hawk asked cynically.

( You...you keep the spirit. Of what we're fighting for. Kind of like that honor deal, that Elfangor had. )

An uneasy pause, then: ( Has all that been public? )

Apparently, it had. But there was no time to ponder on that either… for at that very moment…

" Containment failure in two minutes and fifty seconds," the automated voice said. " Have a nice day!"

I looked at Visser One. Oh, to see her like that… I gloated, wishing, PRAYING she would die somehow, and that I could get my long-deserved promotion.

I decided to voice this wish. ( Hah hah hah! Water rushing in, and you're stuck in that weak human body, Visser One! If I recall well, this one can't even swim very well. Is that my promotion I see coming? )

For once, Visser One was at a loss for words. Red with anger, she turned and ran for her office.

( Yes, you'd better turn off your computer! ) I taunted. ( If you can! These Andalites are devils with computers, you know! Hah hah hah hah! )

" Containment failure in two minutes and forty seconds. Have a nice day!"

I saw the gorilla run toward his bloody comrades. I decided to take this opportunity to creep up on them… Soon, they seemed to be well into a heated discussion. Heh. I would get my chance to catch them after all! I saw the still-Andalite one, unsuspecting. I lowered my mouth, my teeth bared, and –

The Andalite dodged swiftly out of my way as the gorilla stared up at me in alarm.

" Containment failure in two minutes and ten seconds. Have a nice day!"

I had two minutes and ten seconds to catch them! Time was passing way, way, WAY too quickly. My mind drifted to Visser One and what she was doing… No matter! No time for hateful, gloating thoughts when my goal was finally in reach!

I reared back and aimed for the Andalite again. This time… yes! Yes, yes, yes, YES! I felt my teeth sink into his flesh. At this rate, I could gobble him up in one bite!

( Got you! ) I cried in glee.

I bit down harder on the Andalite, who grunted. Finally, I would finish him off. I would – OUCH! What the hell!

I stopped biting, in surprise. And when I looked down, I saw the grizzly bear's claws dug deeply into my lower body.

( Let him go! ) the bear raged. ( Let him go or I'll rip you in two! )

I stood my ground. ( It's a standoff, Andalite. You have me, and I have your fellow terrorist. But the water will pour in soon, and you'll drown! You will all drown in those pitiful bodies. )

( Let him go! ) the Andalite in bear morph persisted.

The hawk looked straight at me with its piercing eyes. ( Let him go, or we'll kill you. That's a promise. )

As if encouraged, the bear cut deeper into my flesh. I started to feel a bit drowsy as yellow-green ooze escaped the puncture wounds the Andalite was creating on my body.

( I guess we have a negotiation here, ) I said weakly.

( Negotiate this, ) the gorilla said as it flung its fist straight into my snout. Acute pain! My jaw flew open and I slipped backward into the dock water, struggling to focus on reality.

I don't know how long I stayed there, underwater, drifting in and out of consciousness. Horrible long minutes passed as I stayed there, unable to morph without drowning…

When I finally got a grip onto reality, it was because I heard a shrill scream from a distant window. I recognized the scream… Visser One! Almost subconsciously, I swam to the window in question and peered inside. The scene was disastrous. Visser One was on the ground, bloodied and unconscious, her Dracon beam scattered inches away from her limp arm. Inside, three of the Andalite bandits seemed to converse, as if deciding her fate.

Had they spared her? Purposely? Raging, thwarted, I examined this possibility… not very likely, as Visser One seemed to have been unconscious for quite a while. But I was so angry with her that I didn't care. I WANTED her to have been spared. I WANTED her to be convicted of treason. I didn't care if it was true or not!

The Andalite walked over to the computer, pondering. Then, suddenly, something caught my eye. Visser One! Moving again, conscious again, not giving up the fight. As she never did. I saw her swiftly grab her Dracon beam, switch the level to six, and roll onto her stomach before expertly aiming the beam at the grizzly bear!

I think the Andalites realized as well as I did that Visser One would not miss this shot. Using his last resort, the gorilla picked up a chair and swung it. And if Visser One had good aim, his SUCKED. He squarely missed Visser One and hit the glass window instead!

Immediately realizing what this meant, I stood there paralysed. The glass cracked, then shattered. Water seeped through the cracks.

Distracted and looking at the glass, no doubt seeing me, Visser One shot – and missed!

The grizzly bear didn't miss this opportunity. It lumbered up and smacked Visser One hard on her back. Ouch. That must have hurt.

I heard the grass crack dangerously. I tried to back up, but to no avail. The glass window broke clear off!

WHOOSH! Swept inside the building like a feather! Water rushed in as I tumbled, disoriented, to the ground. I tried to move against the water, but failed desperately, and gave up trying. I let the water guide me as well as it could, in my wonderful gilled morph. The gorilla, the bear, the Andalite and myself were swept down the hallway. I caught Visser One's despaired eyes as she bumped into a wall, clutching her back.

Stuck. The pressure wouldn't allow her to move to the doorway.

The walls collapsed outward! I was blown out into the ocean, losing sight of the Andalite bandits. No! I looked for them, looked on and on… but they were nowhere in sight. Either they had gotten caught somewhere, or… or…

Suddenly, I saw Visser One floating facedown. She was unconscious and couldn't breathe.

Good riddance! I thought. At last!

But for some reason, I couldn't shake off the image of her lying there so weak, so motionless. It hurt to think she would die drowning, and not by me killing her. It hurt to know my face wouldn't be the last thing she'd see before she died.

I saw a Leeran swim expertly to her rescue. He grabbed her limp, frail body and swam away with it. I saw him board her into a transparent submarine and couldn't help but watch as it zoomed away.

I though I saw six hammerhead sharks swimming away in the distance. But I didn't care anymore.

I followed that sub, wanting to find out for myself what would be done with my worst enemy.

And maybe, if I was lucky, she'd survive one more time so I could kill her myself. Maybe, if I was lucky, we'd be able to have one last argument before she left this universe by my hands.

Well, Journal, as I swam toward that sub, I sure hoped that for once in my life, I was lucky.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

---

**Woot, well that was an action-packed chapter! I loved writing it and I hope you enjoyed it. :)**

**Thanks to everyone who entered the contest.**

**Till next time!**


	11. Yeerk Pool Hospital

**A/N:** As thanks to **teh Michy **for updating almost every day (read: MUCH faster than me), this chapter is going to be a wee bit different. ;) This is truly the best way to write this chapter, so I hope you guys don't mind.

_**Dedicated to teh Michy. Thanks for providing us with a brilliant, inspirational story to read while we write our stuff. It's really helped with this chapter, that's for sure!**_

_**Also to Josh, The Horned Water, Ian and everyone over at Project AM. It's a great thing you guys are doing, and I hope the movie really takes off with a BAM. :D Much success to all of you. (And thanks Ian for allowing me to use "Ohmigosh. THIS IS MY LUNCH." :P)**_

**This chapter is brought to you in part by _YouTube_. The reason I started writing this chapter the other day is because _YouTube _was malfunctioning, and I wasn't able to watch some "new" Animorphs episodes! So, thanks, I guess, _YouTube! _**

**---**

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 11  
_Yeerk Pool Hospital**

May 28th  
_10:00 p.m._

Dear Journal,

All I remember for the longest time is swimming. I was swimming, in my quite probably infected sea snake morph, following the sub. All I could think of the entire time was that stupid human Beetle (what the hell sort of classification is that?) song "Yellow Submarine". Except this submarine was transparent. Definitely not yellow.

I felt a bit VERY UNCOMFORTABLE in the midst of all this salt water. I had to concentrate on something else the whole time – thank the lords for that infernal song – in order to not panic. See, salt water is really bad for us Yeerks. It burns our slime coat upon contact, and can infect our skin if it gets far enough, sometimes causing death.

There was definitely some salt water on me already, since this creature's wide ear canal had opened underwater while I was unconscious. I could tell since my vision was a bit hazy, and in general I felt drowsy as hell. But I would not stop swimming! … Is that the shore I see far away? APPARENTLY, unless a gargantuan dirt clod simply materialized in the middle of the ocean…

Suddenly, the sub disappeared below me. It just vanished. Most probably, they cloaked it, since we were nearing a civilized area. Still, from where I was now, I could see exactly where they were going – the underwater entrance to the Yeerk pool, which wasn't so far away from where we were. All I had to do was swim there, and all the swimming would be over… I could relax, get checked up for injuries, then go back to the home world. Simple as that.

Or at least, "simple as that" was what I thought as I psyched myself, then dove bravely under the salty surface. I swam for what seemed like hours under the cold water… it surrounded me, making me feel very claustrophobic. Hell, I was even _breathing _it (not my fault the morph has gills, and not my fault Visser One doesn't).

_I can't _wait _to get out of here, _I thought to myself bitterly.

Then, finally, after what seemed like a fricking decade, I saw the entrance in the distance. It widened to a very large size to let something – most probably the cloaked sub – pass through, and I rushed forward, I nto the entrance along with it. I was so close I practically got _clobbered _by the propellers, but what the hell! I was inside!

Before I knew it, I was back on solid ground again. I quickly demorphed to my Andalite form and, to my great surprise, still felt woozy. How the frig had that happened? Not that I cared – I had WAY too much on my mind without that. First things first – the PUBLIC TELECOMS!

I ran as quickly as a dazed Andalite could to the public telecom stand. Luckily enough for me, there was no waiting line. I picked up the telecom and dialed quickly.

3-6-9-3-9…

- Brrrt… brrrt… brrrt… (what kind of a gay ring is that anyway?)

" Whadda ya want?" the Taxxon snapped from aboard the Blade ship. " You know back in my day we didn't have people calling at --"

( SHUT UP ALREADY! ) I yelled. ( THIS IS NOT "YOUR DAY"! ) calmed down a little, I continued. ( Fly the Blade ship to the underground pool complex. NOW. )

Without waiting for a reply, I hung up.

Next on the list…

4-4-5-6-2… (Why was Visser One's number there? I must ask him about that when I get back…)

- Brrrt… Brr --

" Hello, you've reached the Council of Thirteen of the Yeerk Empire," said a monotone, almost bored voice. " Please remember that you must reserve an appointment to speak to us, that we do not accept solicitation – even the oatmeal kind, nor death threats, and that our vacation days are Mondays and Wednesdays. For any further information on applying conditions, please visit our website at councilnews-dot-uni. Councilor Four speaking, how may I help you?"

I stayed silent for what appeared to be a LONG time.

( … MUST you say that every single time you answer the phone? ) I exclaimed.

" Actually, yes," Councilor Four said a bit sheepishly. " Or else the Emperor will have my head."

I laughed, pitying the poor fool. ( Anyway listen, we're at the hospital, and -- )

" The HOSPITAL? Good lords, Visser Three, what happened!"

( Well, _Visser One _got the place blown up and almost got herself DROWNED in the process… and I feel woozy. )

" Are you alright?"

( Do I SOUND dead? )

" Okay, you're fine," Councilor Four said with a laugh. " And what about Visser One?"

( No idea. I'm going to check up on her in a second. ) I sighed. ( Maybe, if I'm lucky, she'll be in terrible pain, or paraplegic, and not be able to move all the way to the pool in three days… )

" You're so cruel," Councilor Four said.

( She's my worst enemy, she should be glad that I actually bothered to COME here. Am I crazy? )

Councilor Four laughed again. " I wouldn't doubt that, Esplin."

( Anyway… so I'll be back on the home world late tomorrow. Hopefully. )

" Alright," Councilor Four sighed. " Good luck not killing anyone…"

( Who said I wasn't going to kill anyone? ) I exclaimed.

" Bye, Visser Three," Councilor Four laughed.

( Bye. )

I hung up. Then I smirked and dialed again.

5-6-2-9-3…

- Brrrt… brrrt… brrrt… brrrt…

A monotone voice picked up just before the fifth ring.

" Hello, you've reached Visser One. Obviously I am not able to answer any incoming messages at the moment, but if it is urgent and relevant, please leave a message."

- BEEP!

( Visser One, ) I sneered. ( If you're listening to this message, it means you survived. And it also means I will be contacting the Council about your obvious treason. Do with that what you will, but by the time you hear this, it will already be too late. )

I hung up, barely resisting the urge to insert some evil laughter in there for needed dramatic effect.

Then, I walked over to where I saw Visser One being wheeled through the pool complex on a stretcher. She wasn't hooked up to life support or anything – come on, it's not THAT bad. But she was ghost white and obviously unconscious.

I clopped up to the two medics who were handling her. They practically jumped ten feet at the sight of me.

" V-Visser Three!" one of them, the wimpy one exclaimed.

( What's happened to her? ) I asked sternly.

This time, the second doctor responded, in a more professional way. " A Leeran aboard the submarine explained the situation… we think she may have gotten partially detached from the host's brain during the water onslaught. This could have caused some salt water to afflict her skin through the ear canal. We'll be lucky if the water doesn't leave permanent scars on her skin."

_LUCKY! _I thought cynically. _More like IRRITATED._

" If you were present during the destruction of the facility, it may be a good idea to have you examined as well," Mr. Professional said.

" Y-Yes Visser, it certainly would," added Wimpy.

( Fine, ) I spat. ( But make it quick. )

They led me to a room where they examined me – and discovered that my wooziness was indeed caused by salt water which had infected me while I was in my unconscious morph. I was given an antidote and told to rest. So that's how I ended up here, in a tiny room, _resting_ for what is now near SIX HOURS. I should be allowed to leave tomorrow, they said – which was good, for that's what I had told Councilor Four.

So, since I obviously don't have you with me, Journal, I am writing these words on some looseleaf I found in the drawer. Don't worry, however… I'll be sure to stick these notes inside you when I am again aboard my Blade ship.

Sigh… I'm starting to get tired. I've been writing for what seems like forever. I'll be taking a quick nap, and will hopefully be back later for some more "reciting".

Until my return,

Esplin 9466

---

May 29th  
_1:11 a.m._

Dear Journal,

I walked through the hallway to Visser One's hospital room. I wasn't supposed to be up at this time, but hell with that! Nobody told _me _what to do. _Especially _not some tired looking grandmother man with a large bald spot, and big round glasses just SCREAMING "Lock me up in Dorkville!".

In the hallway, I noticed that there were photographs honoring some of our best doctors and scientists. Visser Fourteen's picture was huge and had his name gold-plated underneath. In a smaller, less important photograph I recognized Mr. Professional. But nowhere did Wimpy's picture appear… for obvious reasons.

I got to Visser One's room – isn't it ironic that the only place we AREN'T next door neighbors is at the HOSPITAL? – and just stood outside for what seemed like hours. Why did I have to come see her anyway? I berated myself for coming this late. It was after midnight. But I had been bored. After I woke up from my snooze, at eleven thirty, a half hour had seemed to last a thousand eternities.

I slowly opened the door. There Visser One lay, sprawled on a hospital bed with a huge monitor over her head and warm blankets over her body. From what I could tell, she was still in her Earth host, Eva. Why wouldn't she be? Even though the host was injured, it would take too long to have Isabel shipped over here.

I couldn't see her eyes thanks to the size of the monitor. She couldn't see me either, which I guess was a good thing. Monitors, in case you're wondering, are used a lot when the Yeerk itself is injured. It lets the doctors see the Yeerk's vitals and monitor their progress. I guess it would be useful, but I had the feeling Visser One's monitor was more of an in-case procedure than anything else. I mean, no matter how small the injury, you don't take any chances with Visser One's health. She's the Council's baby – according to them, they haven't seen such a capable, valuable Visser in a very long time. If anything was to happen to her, the Council would take a fit. Which gets hard for people like me, who constantly feel like MURDERING her sorry ass!

I stepped up to the side of her bed. ( Hi, Edriss. )

She lifted her hand to give me a not-deserved dapsen sign.

( Thanks a lot, ) I snapped. ( For once, I was TRYING to be nice. )

She didn't answer, didn't do a thing.

( You'll pull through, ) I said, not quite sure I wanted it to be true. ( You'll survive… as you always do, just to spite me. )

She didn't respond, though I thought I saw the hint of a faint smile on her face. As "in-case" as the monitor was, she'd still been wracked up pretty badly… As I've already said, the doctors were really hoping, for one, that the salt water hadn't done permanent damage to her skin and slime coat.

Speaking of slime coat, I overheard the doctors talking a while ago, and they were saying something very peculiar… they said that while examining Visser One, they had found that she didn't have much of a slime coat, even on the parts which weren't affected by the salt water. They thought that the salt water could have spread, but that it was unlikely. It is very strange for a Yeerk to lack in slime on their coat… I wondered vaguely if Visser One could be sick.

Naw, not Visser One. I would never be that lucky. Knowing Visser One, her body probably just stopped producing slime out of the shock brought upon by the salt water.

As for me, I HOPED the salt water would permanently affect her skin! Maybe that would lower her _self-obsession _down a notch! Okay, it's enough that everybody ELSE (except for me) is downright obsessed with Visser One, but _she _also had to be downright obsessed with _herself_. Maybe this little accident could fix that for us all…

( Well, good night. ) I said. ( Hope you die sometime. _Visser One_. )

I saw her smile as I left the room.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466

---

May 29th  
_11:54 a.m._

Dear Journal,

As I write this on my looseleaf, Journal, I'm in my hospital room packing the few things I had on the submarine in order to return to the home world later this afternoon. I'm kind of… resisting, as you can tell. For who can find the time to _write _while packing? But writing is so amusing, much more amusing than I ever would have thought it would be when I received my first diary long, long ago.

And much more amusing than packing. Which I must, unfortunately, return to now… Stupid lunch being at TWELVE O'CLOCK…

Until my return,

Esplin 9466

---

May 29th  
_3:30 p.m._

Dear Journal,

Lunch was a breeze. I got into the cafeteria at twelve-oh-one, since these punctuality freaks would have my head if I just so happened to be five minutes late… did they not realize I could just, you know… _lop their heads off?_ Guess not!

I ordered a bowl of blue Andalite grass, and once I received it from the chef, I slammed it onto the seat facing Visser One.

( Ohmigosh. ) I announced dramatically. ( THIS IS MY LUNCH. )

" Congratulations, you bumbling idiot," Visser One snarled. For god's sake, she sounded like that irritating Taxxon. She herself was eating a bowl of CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP. I mean, how BLAND is that in comparison to MY lunch? Pretty bland.

Visser One had gotten her monitor removed this morning. She was now free to go, with some restrictions for a week. As was I, but with less restrictions. Heh, burn Visser One. We were going to take the Blade ship back to Earth – as Visser One's custom Bug fighter had been absolutely destroyed (She'd parked it IN the facility. Need I say more?).

The Blade ship was ready by the time we finished lunch. Yeerks bade us goodbye as we boarded, and unfortunately, the Taxxon was STILL my pilot…

" Welcome aboard, Visser One," he said respectfully, bowing his head, though I knew what he REALLY thought about our resident Council-seducer.

" Yes, well, where's my room?" asked Visser Dapsen, motioning to me. " Must I ask?"

( As usual, ) I said, smirking. ( The cold, dark one in the corner. )

Visser One rolled her eyes and walked off.

Little did either of us know what kind of trip we were in for… But that, Journal, is another story. Because Visser One WILL NOT leave me alone. For good reason… But YOU KNOW how I feel about MY PRIVACY.

… For another time, Journal. For another time.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466

---

**Hope you like those "Snippet"ish entries, teh Michy! I decided, hey what the heck:P Since V3 was in a hospital, he wouldn't have had that much time to write long entries anyway. It was perfect.**

**Cliffie! Can anyone guess what next chapter will be about now? ;) Hehe… You guys have NO CLUE what you're in for.**

**While you're waiting, please check out www. Project-AM. com (take out the spaces). It's a non-profit Animorphs Flash film in the making. They need all the help they can get, and even telling other people about it will help them. So please, have a look. It's great!**

**Till next time! **


	12. About the Leeran War

**A/N:** The plot thickens… ;) Enjoy this **quick update**, everyone. :D And **HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY** to the **Visser Diaries Trilogy**! Officially two years old today:D

**Warning:** Some scenes in this chapter may **greatly disturb you**. :P

_**Dedicated to MsTria for coming up with the best theory ever – and for greatly inspiring this chapter. Hope you enjoy!**_

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 12  
_About the Leeran War…**

May 30th

Dear Journal,

" You Vissers are far too social," the Taxxon snarled as the Blade ship sped into space. " Why, back in my day we didn't have these 'social acquaintances'. We just did our job, and we did our job WELL! Distraction-free! Good golly, I wish we still had nine Vissers. Far more professional."

Visser One frowned.

( You get used to it, ) I told her privately, sighing. ( Unfortunately, he's the only pilot I have. So put AWAY the Dracon beam for now. )

" Wow, YOU'RE cheap…" Visser One spat.

How did this come about, you ask? Well, see, our trip had already gone on for quite a while. We'd left the pool two hours ago and had decided to "sight-see" around the galaxy before going home. At first, Visser One wanted to go to the Anati system and contact Visser Seven for a progress report. THAT had taken a good twenty minutes all by itself. And now – who the hell knows how – our little ship trip had taken us all the way to the Leeran planet's solar system (stupid Zero-Space and its twisted exit points). And – you guessed it – now Visser One wanted to go visit _Visser Four_. Oh, lords, someone PLEASE just shoot me now.

( Visser One, NO! ) I shrieked. ( We are NOT going to visit Visser Four! Are you CRAZY? )

" _Yes_, we are!" Visser One protested. " We haven't seen him in ages. And besides, he wanted me to reassign him to a post on Ssstram. I plan on doing this, since Visser Two lately has been very intent on taking charge of Leera… and we need a Visser on Ssstram."

( Visser One, NO! ) I protested, completely ignoring her reasoning. But I knew, nonetheless, what was coming next…

Visser One's face contorted into an expression of annoyance. Oh no. Not the "I WIN" expression! No, please, I beg of you!

" Visser Three…" she said in her suspenceful tone. Then, to my great dissatisfaction, she continued as expected. " _I_ am _YOUR _commanding officer. What _I _say goes. Now, _YOU _will fly _ME _to planet Leera. IMMEDIATELY!"

I rolled my eyes, once again stuck in her trap. Her tell-the-Council-if-I-refuse, god damn TRAP!

( You heard her, ) I said bitterly to the Taxxon.

How is it FAIR to have your _worst enemy _for a commanding officer? Huh? HOW?

---

Upon arrival on planet Leera, we were docked on a secluded part of the planet. A small island, actually. Our hangar, barely big enough to HOLD the Blade ship, was very heavily reinforced. It would have to be, with the current Andalite assault on this planet.

We disembarked – _we_ being myself, Visser One, two of the _smarter_ Hork-Bajir in the crew (who were about three degrees less intelligent than Iniss) for bodyguards, and the annoying Taxxon who just happened to have a Leeran fetish – and started walking toward the submarine the Yeerks on the planet had prepared for us. In case you are an idiot, planet Leera is heavily aquatic – only a small, SMALL part is land. As if you couldn't have figured that out with the island and submarine references… well, you never know. Iniss wouldn't have figured it out.

Am I the only one who's noticed that Iniss has been rather… absent… lately?

… Thought so.

But ANYWAY, speaking of Iniss, after boarding the submarine, we were immediately confronted with a very Iniss-like _Leeran-Controller_. Picture Iniss as a frog with huge, thick goggles (what could be going through a Leeran's mind to wear GOGGLES?) and with disconcerting psychic powers, and you've got this guy. He said his name was Alfredo… pretty sure I don't believe him.

_Welcome to planet Leera!_ he said, greeting us joyfully. _My coworkers and I will make sure you have an enjoyable trip today!_

Alright, so he isn't quite as Stutter-Me-Deaf as Iniss. But he still has that, ah, _feminine_ side to him.

Visser One nodded curtly to Alfredo, as if trying to get rid of him. Unless you're ME, when Visser One _nods curtly _at you, start running. As for me, _I _am a professional. Don't try this at home, kids.

_Would you like any refreshments?_ Alfredo asked. Ohh, shoot me shoot me SHOOT ME!

" Sure!" Visser One said brightly. Then her expression darkened. Instant PMS. " Bring me a _redin_. NOW."

" Yes, Visser!" Alfredo said, rushing off.

( A _redin_, Visser One? ) I asked, raising an eyebrow at her once Alfredo was gone. ( Don't drink and drive! )

Visser One frowned. " Do I LOOK like I'm driving, you dimwit?"

( You're always driving, Visser One, ) I taunted. ( Driving ME up the WALL! And you get so… nasty… when you're drunk. )

" HEY!" Visser One yelped, offended. " I am never nasty! How am I nasty?"

( You just… BLURT and GIGGLE things, ) I said with disgust. ( I'll never forget the time Councilor Four was with us and you _proposed _to -- )

" … AHEM," a new voice said.

Visser One and I both spun around, embarrassed, to find the Taxxon and Alfredo standing in front of us. The Taxxon looked murderous, and Alfredo… well, Alfredo just looked like he'd inhaled a cow.

" Back in my day," the Taxxon snarled as Alfredo handed Visser One her liquor, " there wasn't any of this 'liquor' nonsense. Why, when I was a grub we had to bend down shamelessly and drink the sludge right out of the --"

" News flash," Visser One quipped, taking a sip from her drink. " We are in _my _day."

The Taxxon was smart enough to realize he should shut the hell up now. He didn't say anything else.

( Are we there yet? ) I asked.

_Are we where?_ Alfredo inquired, as if he was expecting us to just hang around on the submarine for the rest of all eternity.

" VISSER FOUR'S BASE," Visser One said for perhaps the hundredth time.

_Are you authorized to –_

" I'm VISSER ONE," Visser One exclaimed, as if that just explained everything.

_Oh, right!_ Alfredo exclaimed, shocked. _For some reason, when you said 'Visser One' a while back, I understood 'Visser Twenty-Six'._

I raised an eyebrow. ( How can you get TWENTY-SIX out of ONE? Please tell me Leeran hearing isn't THAT bad! )

Alfredo nodded regretfully. _Sadly, it is._

We both rolled our eyes as the submarine turned left. Before we knew it, we were rising above the surface. Intrigued, I asked Alfredo if he _really _knew the way to Visser Four's on-planet base… he said yes, indeed he did.

At first I thought that maybe he'd snorted too much seawater, but it turns out he was actually RIGHT and that Visser Four's base was ACTUALLY up on land. Now, the curious thing about that was that it left Visser Four out in the open for Andalite attacks. I glanced at Visser One to see her reaction. She frowned pensively. Visser One was obviously thinking the same thing I was, and she doesn't like her Vissers being foolish. Which is why she hates me so much.

… Wait. Did I just –

Oh, _never mind_!

We docked, and all of a sudden Alfredo jumped out of fricking NOWHERE and was very suddenly smiling himself silly in my face.

_We have arrived!_ he shouted joyfully. Good lords, are ALL Leeran-Controllers this HOMO? Iniss, we have FOUND YOUR PEOPLE!

( I noticed… ) I said to Alfredo. ( You know… WHEN WE _DOCKED_? )

_Ahh, okay!_ Alfredo said. _Have a nice day, Vissers!_

He opened the submarine hatch and let us out. THANK. Fricking. GOD.

---

Visser Four's private land base was a nice one. It was on a tiny island which had a small amount of colorful trees. The base itself consisted of three heavily armed, heavily guarded buildings in which Visser Four could come and go as he chose. There was surveillance _everywhere_. I was beginning to think that maybe Visser Four knew what he was doing, despite our initial doubts about his location…

" Visser Three?" Visser One called.

( What? ) I replied.

" Can we stop looking at scenery now and go in already?"

( Eh, sure. )

And with that, we walked toward the entrance to what appeared to be the main building, the Taxxon and two random Hork-Bajir bodyguards trailing behind us. Glimpsing us, the huge, buff Hork-Bajir guards at the building's main entrance went stiff and stared at us in wonder. As we approached them, they bowed low.

" Welcome, Vissers," they said humbly.

They opened the thick, grey double doors and granted us passage. We graciously accepted it – being the Vissers we are – and ventured into the building.

One of the Hork-Bajir discretely pressed a button on the wall, twice.

" Visser Four will be with you in just a moment," he said, and then walked outside with his fellow guard.

As the door closed, it felt… I don't know, QUIET all of a sudden. And quiet is BAD for me because it allows me to concentrate on stupid Alloran's intestine malfunctions.

_Oh, lords, PLEASE don't let me shit myself in the middle of the floor… _I pleaded, raising all four eyes to the sky.

To take my mind off this… this _embarrassment_… I looked around at the room. It LOOKED like something I'd pick off my hoof – gross and grey-green all over. SOMEONE has a sense of style… However, to compensate, Visser Four had placed… flowers? On the reception table?

( What the hell? )

And the waiting room (which is pretty much what this was) chairs were _purple_… Thought Visser Four HATED purple. Oh my lords, wouldn't it be GREAT if Visser Four was stuck with an ELLIE for a receptionist? Haha!

Then, suddenly, as if on cue, a brunette female human stepped out of a side door. She was holding what appeared to be a TELECOM to her ear and rushed to the reception table as if there was no tomorrow.

" Yes, defense should be all ready…" she said into the phone. " … Yes alright…"

She fumbled through the hurricane of papers on the desk. I presumed she was speaking to Visser Four – why else would she be in such a rush to find what she was looking for? She looked up at us with big blue eyes, smiled and waved slightly, then lifted her index finger and indicated us to wait. But Visser One, apparently, would not WAIT. She started to get up.

" Listen --"

I pulled her roughly back down onto the chair.

( SIT DOWN, you crazy madwoman. )

She glared daggers at me. I watched the girl, whom I assumed was Visser Four's receptionist, find the paper she was looking for and scribble some stuff down.

" … Alright, do that then," she said dully into the telecom. Nice, a REBEL receptionist… Heh, I could just picture Visser Four's pitiful face…

She hung up and scribbled a few more notes onto the page before turning to us.

" Hello, all," she said.

" Hello," Visser One replied, unimpressed.

" So… what brings you here?" the receptionist asked.

( Uh, I think you were TOLD what brings us here, ) I said, not very happy that the receptionist was speaking to me as a freaking _EQUAL_!

" Now now, Visser Three… let's not be overly dramatic."

( I can be dramatic if I choose to be, low-rank! ) I WAS NOT DRAMATIC. WHAT COULD BE GOING THROUGH HER MIND TO CALL ME DRAMATIC! … I'm okay.

She laughed a… strangely familiar laugh and stepped up to us. " Who are you calling low-rank?"

( YOU, ) I said. ( The _lowly _receptionist. )

She smirked. " I'm not the receptionist, dopehead. And I don't recommend calling me one again!"

My nonexistant jaw dropped. My eyes went wide. My ears went wide. Hell, even my FINGERS went wide as I clutched at thin air, praying to the lords that I hadn't just heard what I THOUGHT I'd heard…

Visser One looked at me, her mouth wide open. Then, our heads spun around to face the brunette.

(" VISSER FOUR?") we yelled simultaneously.

" Duh, dapsen…" Visser Four rolled his… HER… eyes at me.

Oh. My. Lords. Visser Four was a fricking FEMALE! What is the world coming to?

" Quit looking like you just got hit by a Dome ship!" Visser Four exclaimed. " I changed hosts. NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL."

( But… you're… FEMALE… ) I said, eyes wide, having completely LOST the ability to express myself and not look like a complete mental retard.

" I still rule even if I'm female," Visser Four replied to my expressive disbelief.

( You are not FEMALE! ) I insisted. ( For the Emperor's sake, Esaren, you've been male your entire life! This is absurd! )

Visser Four frowned. " I can be female if I choose to be. Visser Fourteen has proven that, if you fail to remember."

" But why the sudden change?" Visser One asked skeptically. " I thought you were happy as a male."

" I was," Visser Four said pensively. Then, he… she… added guardedly, " Things have changed, that's all."

Visser Four looked out the window then. He/she spotted an Andalite fighter flying into the planet's atmosphere and frowned.

" Stupid Andalites…" he/she picked up a telecom and furiously punched in some numbers. " This is Visser Four. We have three Andalite ships coming in for an attack. Enhance defensive forces."

… She… hung up.

" _Defensive?_" Visser One asked. " Why not attack them? That's obviously the better choice in this situation, would you not say? We outnumber their forces two to one. CURRENTLY, anyway. That won't last long if you keep using simple defence methods without putting up a fight. They will think they have you beaten."

Visser Four smiled a knowing smile. " Oh, but my dear Visser One, that is exactly the point! If the Andalites are confident they will be victorious, they will be less careful. And _that _is when we will attack."

Her argument made a lot of sense. I stopped to think about it, and frowned… it _did _make sense, except…

( Except the situation at hand does not support this argument, ) I said aloud.

Visser One sent me a smouldering glance. " You, shut up and let me talk! Now, Visser Four, you --"

( You weren't even _talking_, ) I interrupted.

" I said shut up!" Visser One spat.

And before either Visser Four or I could say something in reply, the double doors swung open once again, and in walked… Councilor Two?

Yes, Councilor Two, with a red baseball cap that marked "All Hail the Slugs" in Galard, and about five huge plastic bags containing who-knows-_what_. He set the bags down in the entryway, and the star-struck Hork-Bajir guards closed the doors on us. Poor dumb Horkies, I swear, by the looks of it, that if ONE MORE high-rank walked up to their doors today, they'd most probably have a fricking heart attack!

Councilor Two looked at Visser Four. " Hey bud, I brought the equipment."

" Thanks, man."

Councilor Two and Visser Four were actually good friends? Wow. Who would have thought that?

The Councilor then set his sights on Visser One. " Hello, Edriss," he said in a soft tone.

Visser One blushed and smiled. " Hello, Fen."

My head spun around to look at the unlikely pair. What was this? … I hadn't seen them together since the pool party, but it certainly seemed that THEY had seen EACH OTHER… It was clear that they were much more than friendly with each other. I mean HELLO, Visser One _never _blushes for anyone! Except Councilor Eight! Oh, lords, was Visser One INFATUATED with Councilor Two? _Holy shit_…!

I think Visser Four noticed as well. Our eyes met and she looked at me with an "ooookay…" expression, her eyebrows raised.

As for me, I was just angry. I mean, _Visser One _and _Councilor Two_? WHAT. THE. HELL.

" So, what brings you here?" Visser One asked sweetly.

" Well, Visser Four wanted some help with transporting the equipment for a new piece of technology we're developing for use on this planet," Councilor Two said. " Sure is a nice planet."

Visser Four looked dreamy, suddenly. " Yes, that it certainly is…"

" That reminds me…" Visser One said, turning her attention to Visser Four. " Visser Four, didn't you want a transfer to Ssstram? I am prepared to issue it and replace you here with Visser Two."

Visser Four's head immediately snapped out of whatever frilly cloud it was stuck in. She looked at Visser One, pleading.

" If you don't mind, Visser One," she said carefully. " I've actually changed my mind. During the past couple of weeks, I've grown accustomed and even attached to my mission here. I'd rather just stay here, if that's okay."

I looked at her, trying to decipher this sudden change of plans. There were too many abrupt changes in one day. There was something wrong with this whole thing, and I wondered if Visser One would notice it… but she just smiled.

" Sure, I'm glad you've changed your mind," she said. " I'd rather have you here than Visser Two."

She looked at Councilor Two, and they seemed to be exchanging a meaningful glance.

" Edriss, would you like to accompany me on a walk around the island?" Councilor Two asked. " I'd like you to see our plans for the planet so far."

Visser One was quick to accept. " Yes, of course."

She got up and followed Councilor Two outside. Once the doors closed, only Visser Four and I remained.

But Visser One's face when she looked at Councilor Two was fresh in my mind…

" So I guess Edriss and Fen have something going, huh?" Visser Four asked.

( Apparently, ) I grumbled.

" What, are you jealous?" Visser Four sneered with a smirk.

( _No_, ) I replied, annoyed. ( It's just, WHY Councilor Two of all people? )

Visser Four laughed. " Why not? You can't choose who you fall in love with, Esplin… It just happens."

I glared, very pissed. Visser One had just chosen Councilor Two to make me angry with her! Of course you had a choice when it came to love! What the hell did VISSER FOUR know about that, anyway? NOTHING, that's what.

I almost voiced this harsh opinion, but ultimately decided it was better not to. Instead, I walked toward the double doors. ( I'm going outside. I'll be back in a few minutes. )

She didn't ask any questions, and I didn't explain any further. I simply stepped outside, into the trees, and morphed into the ultimate stalker: the Earth housefly.

Once my morph was completed, I found I had a sudden urge to go back. To go back and see exactly what Visser Four would do when alone… I don't know why, but I was suspicious of Visser Four. Very suspicious…

But in the end, I figured I'd have time for that later.

I lifted myself off the ground and flew high, high up into the foggy Leeran air. I circled the small island and looked around… It didn't take me long to spot Visser One and Councilor Two. They were standing in front of a huge drawing board in a much farther section of the small island. As I looked on, I saw Visser One listen intently as Councilor Two apparently told her something. I saw her face stretch into a large smile… she screamed loudly in happiness as she jumped into his arms. He kissed her cheek, then her lips, while I looked on all the while.

_That idiotic perv_,I thought to myself angrily, for it wasn't hard to guess what he'd asked her.

I found I couldn't watch any longer as they continued kissing. I spun around, back toward the building. My vision was dim, but it hadn't fooled me – Councilor Two and Visser One were most likely, annoyingly, mates.

I decided NOT to demorph before entering the building. I'd surprise Visser Four, scare her to the pant-wetting point. Heh. I slipped through the crack, waiting for her to be sitting at her desk silently, then suddenly I'd SPRING onto her desk and demorph! HAHAHA! That'll show HER! Payback for the time she dared Visser One and me to kiss in front of people!

But in my rage against Visser One for the Councilor Two issue, I'd completely forgotten my suspicions against Visser Four… And when I entered, she was on the telecom, all smiles, talking sweetly to someone… I listened for just a little while before bolting right out of that building like my life depended on it!

I hadn't heard much of the conversation. But I'd heard enough.

Heard enough to convince me that I had been right. Something was wrong. Terribly, TERRIBLY wrong…

I'd find Visser One, we'd go home, and I wouldn't even mention it… I wouldn't mention what I'd heard, and perhaps it would all turn out for the best. And if it turned out for the worse, _Visser One _would be blamed for it.

I hope. I hope.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

**---**

**Woot! The plot thickens!**

**You may have noticed that the story is becoming more serious, despite still having humor in it. This is because, as I said, we are getting closer to the main events of the story, and the plot will become more and more in play as it progresses. This particular Visser Four subplot (the basic idea behind it created by MsTria) is a way for me to advance the plot and make some important twists happen (the Councilor Two/Visser One thing in this chapter being one of many). Anyway, I hope you guys still like the story, I'm just attempting to explain that the lessening of humor lately is indeed INTENTIONAL.**

**Also, I'd thought of C2/V1 a LONG time before Darth Vader es cool 5 had them making out. Darth, for some reason, simply has an innate ability to figure out most of my future plot twists before they happen… :P Visser One has to have two mates for some future events to have the effect I'm planning them to have.**

**Anyway, hope you liked it, and PLEASE REVIEW, because it's the Trilogy's SECOND BIRTHDAY today:D:D  
**

**Next chapter: Two weeks later, Visser Three's decision comes back to haunt him… Why is Visser Four a girl, and why did she decide to stay on Leera? What did Visser Three hear while in fly morph? And what will happen, ultimately, that will make Visser Three realize some of his deeper feelings? STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER 13 OF VISSER THREE'S JOURNAL -- VISSER THREE'S VERSION OF _ANIMORPHS #18: THE DECISION_!**


	13. Do What You Have to Do

**A/N: **This chapter is set during **Animorphs #18: The Decision. **I don't own any of the Andalite dialogue quotes of the book I may use.

**I have so many people to dedicate this to.**

**First off, to _teh Michy_. I know I didn't reply to your CF thing – I just thought you may like to have a personal note on the chapter:P I LOVED your CF! You should write a whole fic with it. It is honestly that good. I almost cried at the last line, it was so beautiful… And how do I do it? Well, maybe the fact that I created it sort of helps. ;) Thanks very much for making my week, once again!**

**Secondly, to _Ember Nickel_. Woot, THIS is up. Well, I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you put up another chapter of _The Anati Chronicles _for me to read! I love that fic!**

**Third, to _estrid2006. _You're welcome. And thanks for making the right decision – I was happy to correct your story, I simply couldn't send it yet due to STUPID FFN'S ERRORS. As soon as I can get into your profile, I will send it! Please never give up your amazing potential to write. Anyone can write, but _telling a story _with your words is something you're born with – and you've got it. I'm proud to be considered your friend.**

**And last, but DEFINITELY not least, to _MsTria_ – more than any other chapter, this one's for you.**

**--- **

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 13  
_Do What You Have to Do**

June 15th

Dear Journal,

I've been way, way, WAY too busy to write. It's been a bit more than two weeks now since I've been able to even lay a finger on you. But I have a lot to say today, so we might as well get started now. I don't exactly have all the time in the world today… but I feel I must share these recent experiences… and discoveries.

We'd been moving back and forth from planet Leera since the day we went to visit Visser Four. She'd asked us to help with a new machine they were building, and since I wasn't scheduled to be on Earth anytime soon, I decided to help them. Plus, it would give me a chance to glare at Councilor Two, who would also be there. Councilor Two is really getting on my nerves lately. I spoke with him quite a few times, and he's just annoying… maybe I've just been seeing him way too often? Anyway, I accepted to help them with this "top secret" mission. But Visser One, she only got to help half the times I did – she had supervisions on Ssstram, on the Anati system, on Earth, on EVERYWHERE! So she only came once in a while, and every time she did, she'd hug and kiss Councilor Two, and tell him how much she missed him, and he'd look at her with soft brown eyes and smile with thousands of brilliant white teeth and tell her he LOVED her. Blech. Councilor Two being MUSHY makes me sick.

Good thing Visser One only came once in a while…

… And unfortunately for me, today was one of those days.

I saw a hand waving in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. " Visser Three!"

Aware that I must have been looking like a deer in the headlights, I lifted my chin and looked at her. She was wearing JEANS and a BIKINI TOP. On an EMPIRE MISSION! What, oh _what _is the Empire coming to when our highest-ranking military officer goes on an important supervision mission dressed like a –

" VISSER THREE!" she snapped.

( _WHAT_? )

" I asked you a question."

( Please… repeat yourself? ) I suggested icily.

She frowned and rolled her eyes. " Councilor Two wanted to know if you wanted a reassignment."

I was shocked. ( A reassignment? Why? Am I no longer needed on Earth? )

Visser One frowned again. She certainly does do a lot of frowning.

" Visser Three, you are not needed _anywhere_. You are just a useless piece of shit."

I raised an eyebrow and asked, just DRIPPING fake concern, ( Visser One… you know your pills are in your drawer WHENEVER you need them. Please, don't hesitate to take them! It could save LIVES! )

" Ohh, quit your melodrama!" she exclaimed. She hated it when I spoke of the Pills of Doom.

Since you're my Journal, and I tell you everything, I'll tell you this… see, Visser One has a little… hormonal imbalance. Yes, we Yeerks have hormones too, for producing slime, for sticking to our mates during reproduction, to control our emotional balance… Well, Visser One has just a little bit less than she needs to have. Or so I've been told – Visser One never divulged much into it, the only reason I know THIS much is because I kept harping on about the pills for about a month, and she finally cracked and told me. Anyway, it's nothing serious, but it embarrasses her beyond belief, and she HATES taking her pills to regulate. I don't understand what's so bad about it, myself… I mean, the pills completely stabilize her hormones.

Probably just Visser One being a big fat drama queen again.

She seems to do that a lot.

But in any case, that would explain this morning's complete spaz-out. Her emotions are linked to her hormones, and if she forgets to take her pill, they become unstable and she absolutely has a freaking COW. Believe it or not, you actually eventually get USED to practically being brutally murderedby an angry She-Freak every single day of your life!

But anyway. Enough of that and back to our show.

_Would you like some water with your dish?_ asked the Leeran – yes, ALFREDO – as Visser One, Councilor Two and I sat just outside the main building on Flashing-Red-Target Island (you know the place).

Yeah, we "found" Alfredo. Oh goody.

I stared down at my dish, a Leeran delicacy – which also happened to be a shitty green, voluptuous pile of _gross_.

( Must I eat this? ) I said to no one.

I looked at Visser One, who hesitantly gave back her dish to Alfredo. " Thanks… but no thanks."

Alfredo seemed disappointed, but walked away without saying a word. I set my own dish on the ground.

( Visser One… )

" Hmm?"

( You know, ) I said cynically, ( just because you're on planet Leera does NOT mean you have to HAVE to impress everyone with your _bikini_, Visser One. )

She glared at me. Councilor Two laughed fondly and nudged her. She mock-glared at him. It was only the three of us outside, sitting in the warmth of the Leeran sun that could only barely be perceived through the fog. Visser Four was inside, tending to some obscure affair. Probably just sorting things out with her secretary. It wasn't until ten minutes later, when she came outside to join us, that the first hints to the depth of this situation were revealed…

" Hello, everyone," she said with a small smile. I turned to look at her, dressed in a yellow-and-black outfit, her brown hair drawn up in a messy ponytail (Visser Four, apparently, still hadn't mastered the "feminine touch"), and it was then that I noticed that she had another person with her. This guy had a brown-haired male host, with golden eyes so striking they were almost unhuman.

I had a bad feeling about him from the very start.

Visser Four smiled at her company. " Vissers, this is, er, Salvar Six-Four-Four. He's my assistant here on the planet."

" Hello, Salvar," Visser One said.

( Yeah, hi, ) I grumbled, preoccupied. Why Visser Four would bother to FORMALLY INTRODUCE her ASSISTANT was beyond me.

" Hello, Vissers," Salvar replied. " It is a pleasure to meet you. A pleasure."

He was about to say something else, but Visser Four nudged him in the ribs.

Salvar decided to more carefully choose his words. " Visser Four has told me much of her superiors."

I blinked. It honestly felt as if Visser Four was bringing home her new BOYFRIEND for us to meet or something! And the guy was trying to make a good impression!

" Well, it's always good to know one's superiors," Visser One said.

" Yes," Salvar nodded. He reminded me of someone, somehow. Seemed kind of… geeky?

Visser One returned to her monitoring. I just kind of stood there. From the corner of my eye, I saw Salvar place a hand on Visser Four's shoulder.

" Are you feeling alright?" he asked.

" Yes, fine," she said not-so-strictly. But she looked like she was about to be sick. She was pale and clutching her stomach. " Excuse me, Vissers," Visser Four said to us apologetically before sprinting into the building. Most probably to find a toilet in which to hurl.

Hehe… Just rewards at last for the friends gathering incident… MWAHA!

Ahem.

I looked back at Salvar. For some reason, he really got on my nerves. I can't explain it, I just – I had a feeling, that's all. My instincts didn't trust the guy.

He kept looking back to the building, as if dearly hoping to see his Visser come back outside. Councilor Two could tell he was worried, and, being Councilor Two, he smiled and attempted to reassure him.

" Don't worry about her," the Councilor said warmly. " She's been a bit sick the past couple of days, throwing up and stuff, but she'll be fine. Just a Leeran virus, a lot of Yeerks have been catching them lately."

" Yes," Salvar said distractedly, his gaze riveted on the building.

The moments passed, and Salvar would not stop looking at his watch, or at the sky. His golden eyes reflected impatience and worry. I wondered what the big hurry was… all I know is that I had a really bad feeling about Salvar.

When Visser Four came back outside, looking fresh and healthy again (or at least more so than when she went inside), Salvar stepped up to her and grabbed her arm.

" May I have a short word with you?" he asked.

" Of course," Visser Four said, worry immediately clouding over her face. What was going on? What was happening here that I didn't know about? " I'll be back in a moment, everyone," Visser Four said. Then, she followed Salvar deep into the woods.

I watched them for a long time, and eventually, the curiosity got the best of me. When Visser One and Councilor Two were not looking, I slipped away, and nimbly galloped to the back of the building. In its privacy, I quickly morphed to housefly, and followed Visser Four and Salvar. I don't know why. Like I said, I just had a bad feeling about the entire thing.

It didn't take me long to find them. They were hidden in a patch of trees not far from where I'd spotted Visser One and Councilor Two, two weeks ago. They seemed to be arguing, but their voices were faint from where I hovered. Intent on listening in, I flew downward and landed on a large tree branch. From where I sat now, I could hear and see as clearly as a housefly with a Yeerk's mind could. And that was well enough.

" I must go," the guy Salvar said. He looked around to make sure it was safe… of course, he would never notice the housefly I was, perched onto the thick branch of a Leeran tree and watching the entire scene unfold before my eyes.

" _No_!" Visser Four yelped, throwing herself into his arms and clinging to him desperately. " You don't have to, just let them fare without you! Who cares about them anyway right? _Right_?"

Her pained expression brought a mask of sorrow to Salvar's face. He looked into her blue eyes, desperately seeking a solution to their apparent misery.

" I can't," he finally conceded. " I'm too important to them. For me to back out now would constitute an enormous act of treason!"

" Oh, as if you aren't a traitor already!" Visser Four yelled, her voice breaking.

Salvar seemed very uncomfortable. He turned and started to back off. " I _can't_, Esaren, I can'tafford that if we want this to remain a secret!"

Visser Four ran to stop him, soft sobs escaping her throat now. " I knew this would happen! We both did, but it's too late to back off now! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! What will I do with myself if --" She stopped herself.

Salvar whirled around and grasped her hands roughly. " If!" he exclaimed tearfully. " _If what_? You can't start thinking like that! I'll make it out, you'll make it out, and we will both live to see each other again, I promise you!"

Tears ran down her cheeks as she gazed at him. He held her hands tightly in his grip, as if refusing to ever let her go. She sobbed freely now. I had never seen a Yeerk Visser succumb to so much emotion. Love and affection were inevitable, of course, but they weren't supposed to be a crucial part of our lives. If a Yeerk's mate or mates die, the Yeerk is supposed to be able to grieve, but quickly move on, forget, and find new mates. But judging by the way Visser Four was acting, almost hysterical, it didn't seem as if that would happen for her anytime soon.

" Just, please --" she pleaded, her face contorted in despair. She jumped into his welcoming arms, and they kissed passionately for a long time, with his hands cradling her tearstained face. When they finally separated, Visser Four watched sadly as he walked into the shelter of the trees, away from her.

" Don't look so sad," he implored. " Please, just smile for me."

She did, she tried, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. " Goodbye," she whispered. " … Just in case."

" Goodbye, Esaren," he said. " I will be seeing you, eventually. I love you."

She mouthed the words back almost inaudibly. Then watched incessantly as he disappeared into the trees.

I didn't see him come back out on the other side. And I guess I never would. But a few minutes later, I saw a _kafit _bird float high into the sky, out of the trees, toward the battle on the horizon.

It hit me. Very suddenly.

_Oh no_. I thought. _Oh God._

I lifted off that branch and zoomed back toward the building like my life depended on it. And with this mission in the hands of Visser Four, it just might.

---

It seemed very obvious to me that Visser Four was going to let her emotions rule everything else out today.

A fatal mistake. One that may cost thousands of battling Yeerks their lives.

Not that I cared about a bunch of low-ranks. If Visser Four allowed this to progress any further, Visser One, Councilor Two and I would no longer have the necessary guard to protect us on that island. All by her own damn fault.

In other words, I might die.

_I_. Might _die_.

Now THAT, Visser Four, is just taking unnecessary risks. She had to be stopped. Quickly.

I quickly demorphed and ran back to the building. There wasn't much time. As soon as I got there, out of breath, Visser One and Councilor Two asked a thousand questions.

" Where WERE you?"

" What the hell are you doing, scouring the island like that?"

" Are you TRYING to get us all killed?"

" Where's Visser Four?"

" Is she okay?"

" And come to think about it, what about that Salvar guy?"

" Visser Three, are you idiotic?"

" What the hell do you think you're doing? What is going ON?"

… They CARE! They really CARE! Oh, I'm so touched…

( Look, will you guys just CALM DOWN? ) I exclaimed, before they could attack me with a pitchfork. ( Okay, I know this will sound strange, but… I want you to stay here. Please, just stay here. Don't get off the island, no matter what. )

They looked at me, eyebrows raised skeptically.

( PLEASE, both of you! ) I exclaimed. ( Just listen to me for once! I know I'm lower-ranking, and that you'll probably get me killed for insubordination tomorrow at sundown, but please just LISTEN. I promise I'll explain _everything _later. For now, all you need to know is that Salvar is a traitor, and I have to stop Visser Four before she makes the biggest mistake of her life and gets us all killed. Okay? )

Visser One looked at me, shocked. As if she simply couldn't believe that I was looking out for her. I wasn't. All this was to ensure MY survival. But I had to pretend I cared so that the Council wouldn't be all, "Oh, well, we're going to execute you because you didn't protect your superiors." In which case all my survival efforts NOW would be worth absolute SQUAT.

" Visser Three, quit trying to be the big hero!" she exclaimed, stepping up to me. " I don't know what's going on, but I know you are definitely overestimating yourself. You always do."

( Visser One, listen, ) I said. ( I think I know what Visser Four's going to do. I know you're confused, but I can pull this off. )

I pointed to a Bug fighter lifting up over the island and zooming away, top speed, toward the raging battle on the horizon. The sun was setting over the fog now, and it made the air clear just enough to see the Shredder and Dracon beams cast by the Andalite ships and our own army of Yeerk vessels over the huge Leeran continent. The only actual continent they had. The Andalites were severely outnumbered. Maybe three-to-one. They were losing.

I knew exactly who was in that Bug fighter.

( Unless I'm severely mistaken, that's her in there, ) I told Visser One and Councilor Two, who were evidently very confused. ( There is no time for questions. I must act now, before it is too late. )

" But --" Visser One started.

( Don't follow me! ) I exclaimed, spinning to face her with all four eyes. ( STAY HERE! )

She didn't say anything, just watched as I stepped into the cool, clear Leeran water and began to morph. I was going shark. It was the only creature I knew was invincible in these waters. And right now, more than anything else, I needed invincible.

I remembered hearing Visser Four's conversation on the phone two weeks ago, while in fly morph. Hearing her words, it had become apparent to me that Visser Four was, indeed, in love. Very in love, even. At first, I was shocked. Visser Four was one of the most focused Vissers in the Empire. Being so obsessed with the war, I'd just assumed she would live out her life alone, and when it was time to mate, she would mate out of convenience, not affection.

I guess I was very, very wrong.

And it may cost us our lives now.

My morph began, slowly but surely, as I waded into the water. I looked back at Visser One, and at Councilor Two, who was yelling that I must be suicidal or something. But I didn't listen to his protests, of course not. I was determined. And when I set my mind on something, I didn't let myself be talked out of it. Not even by _Councilor Two_. And Visser One knew that. Was that why she was standing there, watching so silently? Of course. Of course it was.

( I'll be back soon, ) I snapped. ( Not that you care. )

And with that I dove into the water. My morph was complete – I was an Earth shark. I can't name you every attribute they possess. Do I LOOK like a human? No, all I know is that sharks are strong. And whatever Visser Four was doing, this morph was my best bet to stop it. So I powered on.

It was easy to find Visser Four. She'd parked her Bug fighter on a small island barely big enough to hold it. But at least she was closer to the continent. Now, she was leaving herself out in the open, stepping out of her fighter and everything. She stood there defiantly, without a single guard to protect her.

I hadn't expected this. Why would Visser Four be revealing herself like this? Weak and unarmed? Just because "Salvar" was a traitor didn't mean they all were!

I didn't know what she was planning. But she was making sure an Andalite ship, the _Ascalin_,saw her, high up there in atmosphere. And when they did, she took out her telecommunicator and spoke loudly into it.

" Sub-Visser?" she inquired. " This is Visser Four. Attack. _Now_."

Then, almost instantly, I heard Dracon beams ring out across the continent. The fire of Shredder beams followed suit, and the continent suddenly burst out in fireworks of light! It was amazing to behold, but I wasn't here to watch the light show. I was here to figure out was Visser Four was doing, and to stop her.

Suddenly, I had a thought. What if Visser Four was trying to get herself captured by the _Ascalin_, and using the ground battle as a distraction for the ground Yeerks? Yes, that would make sense, if "Salvar" was on the ship… and if she was on the ship, _the Yeerks in the air would not hit it_! It was a perfect, flawless plan. But how could she be so confident that "SALVAR" would be the one she would talk to once aboard the ship? The others would no doubt not be so merciful of her… There was only one disturbing explanation: "Salvar" had to be one of the more high-ranking Andalites on the ship. One who had direct communication with the ship's captain. That way, they may be able to convince the captain that it may be a good idea to keep Visser Four alive…

I looked at Visser Four. She was smiling at the wonders of her plan, no doubt. She was doing what she felt she had to do. But something was going wrong. Something in her flawless plan had gone wrong.

The _Ascalin _was not moving toward her. Wasn't going anywhere except down, down, down... It looked like it was crashlanding!

I swam up to Visser Four's island, creeping behind her Bug fighter, out of her sight. There I demorphed, retrieving my Andalite form. Once I was finished, I stepped out from behind the shadows.

( Visser Four, ) I said bitterly.

She spun around and eyed me suspiciously. " Visser Three." she said guardedly. " What are you doing here?"

( That's funny, ) I said, ( I was about to ask _you _the same question. )

She backed up slowly. " I – I was just --"

( You were just trying to be reunited with your little Andalite "friend", ) I spat.

She gasped and reeled back, almost falling into the water. " How do you know about Salvar?"

( Haha, Visser Four, you make me laugh, ) I said with a smirk. ( I _followed _you. In fly morph. I saw everything that happened during… during your _farewells_. )

Visser Four blushed and looked away. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn, and the _Ascalin _wasn't coming to get her anytime soon. I continued my assault.

( I never thought, Visser Four, that of all people _you _would be the one to surrender to this fil -- )

" DON'T EVEN SAY IT!" she screamed, out of control. " It's not LIKE that, okay? Do you think I MEANT to fall in love with an Andalite? NO! I DIDN'T! KILL ME IF YOU WANT, I DON'T CARE! _I DON'T CARE!_"

She turned around and looked at the _Ascalin_. It was descending behind Yeerk lines. Very quickly. It only had a few minutes until crashing.

( What? ) a thought-speak voice suddenly rang out from the _Ascalin_! A public voice! Both Visser Four and I were instantly alert and listening.

( Sir, the controls are frozen! ) another voice said. ( I've been locked out. Attempting to override. Override failing! )

A long pause, then… ( Captain! We are on approach to land behind Yeerk lines! We won't have a prayer! )

Why were they speaking publicly, I wondered? Panic, of course. They didn't care who heard them, they probably weren't even aware everyone could!

I looked at Visser Four and saw that she was smirking. It hit me then why. They were landing behind Yeerk lines! And it was probably all "Salvar's" doing! Her plan was working. All except for getting captured by the _Ascalin_, her plan was working.

There was a long pause as the ship descended. We didn't hear a thing except for Shredder and Dracon fire. We stood on the island, listening, listening…

Then, suddenly, a new voice… A voice I recognized somehow. ( Ah, my good _aristh_, ) it said drivenly, almost evilly. ( I don't want to take the chance of injuring you. Visser Four would be very upset if I injured the creatures who have been causing Visser Three so much trouble on Earth. )

Visser Four and I both had COMPLETELY different reactions to that last comment.

Visser Four sighed and smiled in relief, happy that her lover had everything under control.

As for me, I was ANGRY!

( The _Andalite bandits_! ) I exclaimed. ( They're HERE! Why, HOW are they here! )

Visser Four looked at me and smiled. " Don't worry, Samilin will capture them for you."

WHO now? I gaped at Visser Four, dumbfounded. ( SAMILIN? You mean like, CAPTAIN Samilin? CAPTAIN OF THE _ASCALIN_ SAMILIN? )

( Vissers Three and Four are such close friends, ) Samilin's voice continued, divulging a VERY UNTRUE fact. ( Just remain calm. It will all be over in a moment. And you will all be… guests… of the Yeerk Empire. )

Visser Four practically started jumping up and down like a schoolgirl at these words. As the _Ascalin _descended, Visser Four seemed to be hearing something else. She suddenly took out her telecom and said clearly, " Prepare formation."

On the continent, I saw Hork-Bajir lining up in a circle. From where they stood, they seemed to be surrounding the exact location where the _Ascalin _would land.

I sighed. Visser Four's plan had worked to perfection. And I had been powerless to stop it.

But just then… when I thought all hope was lost…

( Esa -- ) Samilin's voice started, alarmed, but was abruptly cut off.

" Samilin!" Visser Four cried.

( What's going on? ) I wondered publicly.

" I don't know! I don't know!"

I galloped over to restrain her, my tail wrapped around her stomach, before she could do something stupid. I forced her to watch, helpless, as the first voice rang out, ( Computer! Emergency override, switch controls to manual! )

But it was too late for him, too late for Visser Four, too late for anyone.

The _Ascalin _crashed to the ground. Loudly.

" Oh, my God," Visser Four gasped. " It wasn't supposed to crash that hard. Samilin was supposed to override long ago!"

I glared at her. Then, I looked at the destruction. All or most of the surrounding Hork-Bajir-Controllers had no doubt been killed by the impact. But as I watched, new Hork-Bajir ran to take the place of their fallen comrades. They surrounded the ship just as well as the first ones had.

We waited for what seemed like an eternity, on that island. Forever passed before we heard another voice. The first one again.

( To all warriors and crew of the _Ascalin_. ) it said. ( This is the tactical officer. The captain is dead. )

" NO!" Visser Four shrieked. " He is not dead! They are just saying that so they can take charge of the situation! They've tied him up or something, no, no, no, no!"

She wrestled me to get out of my restrictive grasp, but I stood my ground. She wouldn't get away from me if I had anything to say about it!

( We are surrounded, ) the tactical officer continued. ( No chance of escape. Nothing to do but inflict the maximum damage on the Yeerks. In three minutes I will begin firing all the ship's weapons. The Shredder flashback will cause the ship to explode. ) A short pause, then, ( Perform the ritual of death, my friends. Thank you for your service to this ship. You die in the service of the People, defending freedom. )

I could see that the Hork-Bajir and humans on the ground were also hearing this. They looked around, alarmed, scared… but there was no way out. It would happen. All by Visser Four's damn fault.

Then suddenly, a thousand thought-speak voices echoed the Andalite ritual of death. I heard them chant as Visser Four sobbed and struggled to escape me.

( I am the servant of the People, ) they all said. ( I am the servant of my prince. I am the servant of honor. My life is not my own, not when the People have need of it. )

" Oh, God, no!" Visser Four screamed. " Samilin! SAMILIN!"

( My life is given for the People, for my prince, and for my honor. )

The Shredder beams started firing. I grabbed Visser Four and ran behind the Bug fighter for shelter. But from where we were, we could still see. We could still see the _Ascalin_.

I watched as the _Ascalin_ exploded with a deafening sound, killing so many people, Yeerk and Andalite, on the site. I knew Visser Four had been watching too, and I heard her despaired screams and sobs as she cried for her dead lover. If he had not been dead a while ago, he certainly would be now.

I let Visser Four go as she cried for Samilin. No use restraining her now, there was nothing more she could do. I watched her as she fell to the ground and screamed in anguish over and over again. Then, she stood up and took something out of the bag she'd been carrying. I slowly stepped toward her, wondering what it was… and she brought a Dracon beam, set on level six, to her own head!

I sprinted forward, and with a swipe of my tail, knocked the weapon out of her hand before she could fire. I grabbed her again and brought her into the Bug fighter. I started the engine – _I _was driving this time – and we were off. Away from the battle. Away from the explosion. And, for Visser Four's sake, away from her lover's dead body.

---

We got back to Visser Four's base island in due time. When I set foot on the ground, I immediately got the eerie feeling that something had gone wrong. And as I looked around, I saw that Councilor Two and Visser One were nowhere in sight.

_Probably out in the woods somewhere smooching again, _I thought to myself. But still, I had a bad feeling about this.

Visser Four was hysterical. I'd left her in the Bug fighter, locking all controls to anything but thought-spoken sounds. She couldn't move, couldn't injure herself, couldn't even exit the ship. I controlled all that now.

The first place I looked was outside the main building. I walked around its perimeter and found nothing. I made my way back to the doors and noticed, for the first time, that there were no longer Hork-Bajir guards. That was strange… Intrigued, I opened the doors and found… Councilor Two! He was lying sprawled on the ground, unconscious, with blood leaving a puddle on the ground under his head.

The two Hork-Bajir guards were here as well, also unconscious and tied up. One had sheaths on his blades. The other was simply decapitated.

What in the UNIVERSE had happened here?

And where was Visser One?

I ran back to the doors. But before I could make it, I heard something. A low whisper, behind me…

" Visser… Three…"

( Councilor Two! ) I ran back and knelt beside him. ( What the hell happened? )

" Andalites…" he whispered haltingly, tiredly, " came in and… assaulted us. They didn't know I was… Councilor Two, they… thought I was just a low-rank."

( Okay, okay, ) I said, not wanting him to talk himself to death. ( Relax. Where's Visser One? )

His expression contorted into one of despair. " They… I should have told them who… who I was… Maybe they'd… have taken me instead… Oh Edriss, oh… I'm sorry…"

I looked at him for a moment. No. Oh, no. They couldn't have –

I spun around and ran back through the doors. I looked up just in time to see an Andalite fighter zoom out of the island trees and high into the sky. It sped up quickly through the atmosphere of planet Leera.

( Oh, lords, NO! ) I yelled.

There was no time to lose! I morphed human as quickly as possible – I needed strong arms, and I needed them NOW. In mid-morph, I hobbled along to the main building, swung the doors open, and ran to the Hork-Bajir.

( Alright, you're coming with us. ) I said. I needed a good guard in case Visser Four went haywire while I was trying to maneuver the Bug fighter. I untied the Hork-Bajir and told him to get into the fighter and watch Visser Four.

" Thank you, Visser, thank you!" the Hork-Bajir said, and ran outside as quickly as he could.

I ran to Councilor Two and picked him up in my strong, newly acquired human arms. He weighed a god damn ton!

( WHAT is the Council FEEDING you? ) I muttered to no one as I did my best to haul him outside and into the Bug fighter.

I got him safely into the fighter, alive and conscious, and as he lay silently, as Visser Four cried, as the Hork-Bajir stood quietly at attention, I motored the Bug fighter out of there, off the island, and on the trail of the Andalite fighter that had Visser One.

Whatever you may think of me right now, I wasn't being some big hero. I hadn't been a hero, ever, not today, not my whole life. I was just doing what I had to do. And right now, I had to save the highest-ranking military officer in the Yeerk Empire from the Andalites before she told them any military secrets.

Would Visser One do that?

I didn't know. All I knew was that I was the only one, at the moment, who could stop her from doing it. I was doing what I had to do. I had no choice but to save her.

… Or did I?

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

---

**Thanks for reading. I had an ENORMOUS amount of fun writing this chapter, and I really hope you enjoyed it! Also, some inconsistencies with the plot of _Animorphs #18: The Decision _are INTENTIONAL. If you spot one, feel free to let me know so that I can tell you whether or not they were intentional, and why.**

**The wonderful pairing concept of Visser Four and Samilin belongs to _MsTria_. She created it, I'm just using it in my story. Thanks very much, MsTria! Please be sure to check out her V4/Samilin, "The Traitor", when it comes out.**

**This chapter was named after a song of the same name by _Sarah McLachlan_, which fits so well with this chapter it could honestly have been written for it. Other songs that fit with this chapter are _Adia _by Sarah (made me cry thinking of the chap), and _Broken _by Seether and Amy Lee. (I don't own any of these songs)**

**Anyway, thanks a mill for reading, and please REVIEW! **


	14. The Message

**A/N: WARNING, TO AVOID FURTHER TRAUMA: **I thought that, to avoid anyone becoming scarred for life, I should tell you this** BEFORE **you read the chapter so that at least you have a chance to** turn back: **In this chapter, **Visser Three **will be **very angry**. So angry that he is going to **throw things **and **traumatize Iniss** by **completely destroying his room**. Also, you will notice a **very repetitive use **of the word** "filthy" **throughout part of the chapter (you guessed it, there's an ANDALITE!). And also, **be warned**! Just when you thought things **couldn't get any worse**, behold! **Visser THREE is going to CRY! Yes, real tears! **

**YOU WERE WARNED!**

_**Dedicated to Kharina. Thanks, Kharina. :P**_

**_Also, to Concrete Angel – never thought I could impress you so much with a chapter of Visser Three's Journal, but I guess I finally did it! Thanks!_**

**Visser Three's Journal**

"_There's a lot to be said for self-delusionment when it comes to matters of the heart." – _Diane Frolov and Andrew Shneider.

**_Chapter 14_  
The Message**

June 16th

Dear Journal,

With all the things that have happened in my life, I'd have thought for sure I knew myself pretty well. But I guess even with quite a bit of days behind me, it only took one big surprise to convince me that I was wrong…

But let's back up and start at the beginning.

The main thing on my mind as we left the atmosphere of planet Leera and entered dark, black space was that Visser One was gone. Really _gone_. The Andalites had captured her – she was nowhere in sight, but unfortunately that did not mean she was out of mind… I couldn't help but to think of her, and I couldn't help but to feel lonely, despite myself, because we've always been most close, Visser One and me. You know the saying, "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer"? Well, that's kind of how it is with us. She'd been there for a very, very long time. And now she was gone, and it felt… kind of empty, you know?

As we sped into space, I found I was not alone in my loneliness – though Councilor Two expressed it in a much more obvious… and romantic… way. Now that he was conscious and only bleeding a LITTLE from the skull, his eyes would not meet anyone's, and whenever they did the look was broken, and whenever he spoke it was in a pensive whisper. He spent most of his time sitting with his back to the wall, staring out through his window at the passing stars.

I think everyone on the Bug fighter felt some degree of loneliness. Councilor Two was a speechless, motionless droid; the Hork-Bajir I "saved from intense peril" was constantly mourning his decapitated friend; and Visser Four… don't even get me started on Visser Four. The point is, we were all lonely in different ways, and in different degrees. But… at least _they _had a reason to be lonely. I didn't. And it bothered me, so I kept it to myself.

We flew on for what seemed like forever, and it was then that Councilor Two finally spoke.

" Visser Three," he said.

I spun around, surprised at his words after the lengthly silence. ( What? )

" Any sign of the ship?" he asked hopefully.

( I think I may have TOLD you, had I seen the ship, ) I sighed. ( No sign of it. )

Councilor Two's hope faded, but he didn't want to let me see that he was desperate. He tried to hold up conversation. " So, uh… what's with Visser Four?"

Now MAY be a good time to mention that Visser Four immediately retreated into the small side room (bathroom, actually) of the Bug fighter once we came inside. We hadn't seen her since. So basically, if we forgot to use the john before leaving, we were pretty much _screwed_.

( She's, um… hiding? How should I know? ) I said, rolling my eyes. ( All I know is she doesn't want to see me. )

" How come?" Councilor Two asked, now curious. I wasn't about to LIE to a Councilor. Still, I wished he would stop asking questions!

( Because I stopped her from saving someone she cared about. )

Councilor Two seemed a bit shocked, but raised an eyebrow and looked at me skeptically.

" And who would that be?" he asked me.

( Okay, Councilor Two, you want to know? ) I asked irritably. ( Fine. Here it is. Visser Four was in love with an Andalite. A male Andalite, which is no doubt why she switched hosts so abruptly. This Andalite was also captain of the ship _Ascalin_. )

Councilor Two looked at me dubiously for a _long _moment. " You mean War-Prince Samilin-Corrath-Gahar? One of our greatest opponents of ALL TIME? … Visser Three, what sort of cornflakes did you snort this morning?"

( He was an admirable person… before he surrendered to that FILTH. )

( Shut up Alloran! ) I spat. Then, I turned to Councilor Two. ( I did not snort, eat, drink or otherwise ANYTHING this morning, thank you very much. I speak only the truth. But I'm sure Visser Four didn't mean to fall for an Andalite… or did she? )

" I --" Councilor Two started skeptically.

" _No, I didn't!_" Visser Four yelled angrily from the bathroom, her voice echoing. " _I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to and you know it!_"

Councilor Two looked dumbstruck. He looked at me, then at the bathroom door, and suddenly, his expression changed into a very stern one.

" Esaren, come out here," he said in a tone that sounded betrayed.

Not about to disobey a Councilor either, it seemed (and probably afraid to hurt her best friend even more), Visser Four calmly walked out of the bathroom. She dragged herself up to our location, all will of living sucked out of her. Her eyes had gone puffy and red from crying.

She turned to Councilor Two, completely ignoring me. " You wanted to see me, Fen?"

" Yes, actually." The Councilor said guardedly. " Is what Visser Three says true, Esaren? Did you really fall in love with an Andalite?"

" Yes, Fen, I did." Visser Four said without hesitation. " And if it costs me my life, damn well, so be it!"

Councilor Two drew back slightly. " I cannot believe this. I cannot believe that of all people _you _would betray us like this."

It was true. Before all this shit happened, Visser Four had been completely and utterly "Pro-Empire", if you know what I mean. She was almost as obsessed with her duty to the Empire as Visser One is, and she obeyed the Warrior Code of Conduct like a religion.

" I didn't mean to," she said again.

" What do you mean, you _didn't mean to_?" Councilor Two practically screamed.

" That planet…" Visser Four said almost hauntedly, " it does things to you. I was secluded from my home, from my people. I didn't have many troops with me at first, and I was light-years away from the home planet. Nobody understood I could feel the way I did. But when I met Samilin, he felt exactly the same way. We understood each other. We both hated that planet and wanted to go home."

She looked out the window, hoping, I guess, to see a trace of planet Leera, left far behind as we zoomed onward.

" And now…" she choked. " And now, I don't _want _to leave. I feel like it _is _home to me now, and that I'm leaving it forever…"

Councilor Two looked at her for a long time. " But how did it happen? How did YOU LET IT happen?"

Visser Four thought about that for a moment. Then, she repeated a line she seems to be saying a lot lately…

" You can't choose who you fall in love with," she said again. " It just happens."

But nevertheless, she told us how it all happened. How they met, and the whole story afterward. It was kind of understandable, when you heard her side of the story, but still… it was a harsh thing to let yourself be brought into. Even after her long recital, I couldn't understand what it was she saw in Samilin.

She finally looked at me, after a long silence. Looked straight at me, with fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.

" And if it wasn't for you holding me back, he may still be alive!" she exclaimed. " You killed my mate!"

( Visser Four, he wasn't your mate. He was an Andalite. ) I said calmly. ( An ANDALITE. Do you not care that you have committed and are _still _committing the most horrible treason a Yeerk can imagine? )

" No, I don't!" she cried defiantly. " I don't care!"

And I didn't care, either, not really. I didn't answer her. I simply didn't care, about anything. I returned to my piloting, and continued my search for one of the most important people in the whole Yeerk Empire – my worst enemy, Visser One, whose life might be in terrible danger. Thanks to me.

Not that I cared, of course. But the Empire might if I didn't show back up with her.

So I powered on, hoping, praying that I, that we, would find her soon…

---

Unfortunately, my efforts to find Visser One quickly turned out to be all for nothing.

After seven long hours of searching, I figured we must have gone the wrong way, or simply that the Andalites had quicker engines that we did. And with Councilor Two and Visser Four sound asleep, I decided the best thing to do at this point would be to go back and tell the rest of the Empire what had happened. They could organize a proper search to find her.

When I parked the Bug fighter in the Empire Building's main hangar, it was already well into the night. I finally managed to wake Councilor Two up, after a few tries.

( Councilor Two! ) I said, shaking his shoulders. ( _Councilor Two! _)

His eyelids parted, at last.

" Whaaaaaat…?" he asked drowsily.

( We're back. Wake up. )

At those words, the Councilor was immediately awake and alert. " Did you find Edriss?"

I sighed. ( No. I looked for seven hours. We won't find her – we'll have to alert the rest of the Empire, and they can form a proper search party. )

Councilor Two frowned, depressed by the news. " Alright, will do. But if they don't find her tomorrow, SOMEONE in security can say goodbye to their job."

I VAGUELY felt bad for the someone in security. VAGUELY. Heck, it wasn't me, so why should I have a pity party? I simply watched as Councilor Two got up and walked away.

" Esaren, let's go!" he called to Visser Four, still in the bathroom.

No answer.

( Great, _now _what? ) I complained, walking to the bathroom.

" She's probably still sleeping," Councilor Two said, walking back up. " I'll get her."

He stepped up to the bathroom and swung open the door. There, Visser Four was sprawled over the toilet, seemingly sleeping or unconscious. There was a trail of something leaking from the corner of her mouth.

Councilor Two walked over to her and examined the scene.

" It's vomit," he said, looking back. Then he looked into the toilet. " Yeah. She must have had motion sickness."

( I don't think so… ) I said suddenly. ( I think it's more than that. She was sick over on planet Leera as well, remember? )

" Well, maybe she has a virus."

( Yeah, probably. That's what she told me, anyway… )

" Still, we should get her checked up. I'll carry her inside and bring her to the medical wing. Can I entrust you with contacting the Emperor about Visser One? Just tell him I asked you to."

( Yes, of course, ) I said immediately. For some reason, I wanted to be sure the Emperor knew of the situation as soon as possible.

" Great," Councilor Two said. He looked down at Visser Four. " I hope it's nothing serious."

( Yeah, ) I agreed half-heartedly. ( Well, I'd best be on my way. )

" Yes," the Councilor nodded. " Good luck, Esplin."

( Same to you, ) I said dully, then walked away.

---

It took longer than I thought to get upstairs. I think it's because I was thinking too much. Asking myself too many questions. Why was Visser Four sick? How would the Emperor, still on the home world, react to Visser One's abduction? And speaking of Visser One, how much of an old prune did she have to be to actually LET herself be captured by an Andalite fighter? I always knew she'd lost her touch…

Once I _did _get upstairs, the stupidest thing ever happened: So I was walking to my room on the Vissers' floor – floor twenty-one – and you know that HUGE garbage bin we use to recycle paperwork and other materials? Actually, you probably don't know… well, anyway, it's green, and it's there – smack at the end of the long hallway containing our rooms. I was walking past it, my hooves clop-clopping, and suddenly, the bin… it SPOKE.

" Visser!" it said in an echoey voice. " Visser, is that you?"

I recognized the voice somehow.

( It's Visser Three, ) I said murderously, unable to believe I was talking to a freaking GARBAGE BIN.

" VIIIISSER! Get me out of here!" the bin wailed.

This time, I DEFINITELY recognized the whining, irritating voice. ( Um… Iniss? )

" Yes, it's me!"

( Uhh… why are you in a bin? ) I asked stupidly.

" Because Councilor Three decided it may be a good idea to EXPERIMENT on me!" Iniss cried. " See how long I could stay in here! I've been here almost THREE DAYS!"

Oh, good lords… I sighed, rolled my eyes, and stepped up to the bin. I lifted the cover, expecting to have to sever a lock with my tail, but NO, it just SHOT RIGHT UP!

I looked down at Iniss with the utmost disdain on my face. ( You mean you've been here almost three days and not ONCE did you actually try to lift the cover? )

" Hehe… oops!" Iniss said sheepishly. " Well, I figured Councilor Three wouldn't be THAT stupid."

I sighed. ( I think Loud-And-Nasal figured YOU WOULD be that stupid. )

Iniss immediately looked sad.

( Come on! ) I exclaimed, yanking him out of the bin by his arm. ( I have important business to attend to. )

I dropped my P.A. to the ground and rushed to my room, at the end of the long hallway. My loneliness settled in again when I saw Visser One's room next to mine, dark and empty. We wouldn't have any arguments tonight.

But I had no time whatsoever to dwell on anything. I had been given orders from a VERY superior officer, and I had to carry them out.

I walked into my room and went to stand in front of my hologram emitter. The message was urgent, and in the Yeerk Empire, you're expected to take a hologram message over a telecom message.

I quickly punched in the code, with Iniss standing nearby, watching me curiously. It didn't take long to receive the signal. I immediately spoke.

( Hailing the Yeerk Emperor, ) I said. ( Urgent message from the home world. )

A moment passed, then the Emperor suddenly appeared on my hologram receiver. He was small and three dimensional, and half-transparent, but he was there.

" Visser Three," he said. " We are very busy. This better be good."

( I have a direct message from Councilor Two, ) I said. ( Visser One has been abducted by an Andalite fighter. We attempted to locate the ship, but failed. We need a full search party. )

The Emperor's tone softened. " Yes, we know all about Visser One. Thank you for letting us know in case, however… the Andalites have not been wasting any time. They've already sent us a ransom message. I will send it over, be sure Councilor Two receives it."

( Very well, ) I said.

He nodded, and soon enough, from the incoming folders slot came an enclosed brown folder. I picked it up, unattached it, and looked inside. Surely enough, there was a disk packaged in it – a copy of the ransom message copied onto a Yeerk disk. The original Andalite disk was obviously kept where the Emperor could have access to it.

( Thank you, your Excellence, ) I said, bowing my head. ( Rest assured that Councilor Two will be informed of this development. )

" Very good, Esplin," the Emperor said, seeming contented, but worried about Visser One's pending fate. He flicked off his emitter and suddenly disappeared, leaving me alone in the room. Well… along with Iniss, of course. But he and his MINUS TWENTY BRAIN CELLS don't count.

" Viiiisser!" he wailed pitifully. " We have to find Visser One! Life withour her would be so dull, so boring!"

( Speak for yourself! ) I spat. ( YOU go find her, if you care so much! )

Iniss immediately thought otherwise, it seemed – his eyes suddenly looked frightened.

He tried to change the subject.

" But --" he stuttered. " But why did it have to happen to Visser One? Why couldn't it have happened to some UGLY female?"

I rolled my eyes. " Wow, how shallow are YOU? … Look Iniss, contrary to your stupid, superficial belief, Visser One's fame and popularity are not based on the fact that she's gorgeous! Well, I mean, it HELPS, but it's mostly due to her RANK, you imbecile! Do you really think the Andalites CARE about how she looks? SHE'S VISSER ONE! They want her, because our entire military depends on her, and they KNOW we'll do whatever it takes to get her back alive and safe."

" You called Visser One gorgeous," Iniss snickered, smirking like a ninny.

( INISS! ) I yelled. ( YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE! )

" I'm only trying to bring up your spirits, Visser!" he squeaked, though he was doing EXACTLY the opposite.

I growled, gave him a dirty look, cursed the lords again for giving me HIM as a P.A., and walked out of the room.

Iniss followed close by.

( Iniss, will you LEAVE ME ALONE? ) I exclaimed angrily.

" Nooo, Visser!" he cried, clinging to me. " NOOOOO!"

_What a baby, _I thought, rolling my eyes.

I threw the ANNOYANCE off me. I had some business to attend to.

( Fine, come if you must, but not a WORD! ) I scolded. ( I have to deliver this to Councilor Two. Don't make a fool of yourself, or especially of ME, in front of the Council. )

Iniss nodded bleakly, and followed me. We took the shaft to the Council's floor (I know… it was only two floors. But I AM that lazy.), and it only took a few seconds before we were walking down the red-carpeted hallway. Once arrived at Councilor Two's door, I knocked repeatedly. No answer. I knocked again. Waited… waited…

_Aw, shit, he must still be in the hospital wing with Visser Four! _I exclaimed, berating myself for coming too early.

But just as I spun around to head back downstairs, the door opened, and Councilor Two stepped out into the hallway.

" Oh, Visser Three, it's you," he said. " Did you tell the Emperor?"

( Yeah, I did, ) I replied. ( He's going to organize a full emergency search. )

" Great!" he sighed in relief, then gestured to his room. " Come on in. I called Visser One's closest friends in to tell them the news first hand."

I nodded. ( Councilor Two, the Emperor sent me a copy of this. ) I held up the folder and took out the disk. ( The Andalites sent us a ransom message. I think her friends should see it… )

" You're right." Councilor Two said, biting his lip with emotion. " We need to know how she's being treated. Come in."

Iniss and I walked into the room. I nodded curtly to the Councilor's company, and proceeded to his computer console. I looked back at Councilor Two, and he gave me the go-ahead.

I plopped the small disc in the machine and clicked on the icon when it appeared. I was so ready, so ready I forgot to be prepared for the worst. I know it sounds ironic, but you know I guess my life _has _been pretty ironic so far.

An image popped up out of the icon. I waited the small moment it took to load, and then I stood silent, along with Councilors Two, Eight and Four, Visser Five, T.E. and of course Iniss, as Visser One's face came up on the holographic setting.

Seeing her like this disturbed me somehow. She wasn't the Visser One I knew and hated. She was a pitiful sight, her eyes red with tears and her body mangled, burned and broken. There was a filthy Andalite standing behind her, taunting her with his filthy tail blade, swerving it gently around, just almost touching her bare throat. She closed her eyes, trying to be brave, but apparently failing. You could just read the trauma and pain in her charcoal eyes as they burned with hatred. They were destroying her bright, flaming spirit, little by little.

" Oh, make it stop…" Councilor Eight moaned from the other side of the room, covering his face with one hand.

The scene shifted to the _filthy_ Andalite. He smirked at us in that strange, filthy Andalite way.

( As you can very well see, Yeerk filth, we have captured and are currently in possession of your commander. We will return her if, and only if these conditions are met: surrender to the Andalite People, and agree to negotiate with us on terms of your species and its awful evolution pattern. We will attempt to come to an agreement with you. If you do not agree to this, and continue as you are doing now, she dies. If you attempt to sabotage us, she dies. You have a choice to make, and for your beloved _Visser One_'s sake, let us hope you can be intelligent, for once. )

" _Don't do it!_" Visser One cried. " _Don't agree to any_ --"

We saw Visser One get smacked across the head with the side of a tail blade and fall to the ground.

The screen went blank.

" EDRISS!" Councilor Eight cried. " _EDRISS!_"

I looked behind me. Councilor Two was hiding his face in his hands. Councilor Eight was choking back tears. Visser Five and T.E. looked like they got hit by a bus, and Councilor Four was just repeating "Oh, my lords" over and over again. What is this, a soap opera?

Before I knew it, and before I knew why, I was running out of the room. Iniss was yelling after me, but I outran him. I needed to be alone. I didn't need all those people around me. They made me dizzy, and I wanted out.

At my pace, I got to my room in no time. I walked in and slammed the door shut, locking Iniss outside. There, I morphed human. I don't know why. I guess I wanted to feel more strength than I had.

With my new human arms, I picked up a large vase and threw it across the room. It shattered into a million little pieces on the ground. I picked up a chair and threw it. The toaster. Bowls, utensils, plates, glasses, I trashed my entire kitchen. Then, when I was done, I sprawled onto the couch and let my eyes blur with long-delayed tears. My life was so SCREWED UP! WHY? Why did I care so much what happened to Visser One? I DIDN'T! SHE'S MY WORST ENEMY, GOD DAMN IT! I HATE HER! I HOPE SHE DIES! Tears fell onto the couch, moistening it. I lay my head on the small pillow. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.

---

It was Ellie who woke me up, early this afternoon. I had slept a while, and somehow demorphed.

" Like, Visser…" she said, peering into my face. " I like, saw you last night… Were you… crying?"

( No, ) I lied, still feeling down.

Ellie giggled. " Like, okay Visser."

She went into the kitchen to prepare dinner. I sat there, feeling, and probably looking like shit. Ellie peeked into the living room after a few minutes, looking curious.

" Like, Visser, are you okay?" she asked.

( Ellie, ) I sighed. ( Just please drop it, alright? )

Ellie walked over and… hugged me? I was so surprised, I didn't do a thing. I just kind of sat there in shock.

" Like, okay Visser," she laughed. Then, she clapped her hands together. " Ooh, I have an idea! Like, why don't we have lunch out today? It's totally on me."

I smiled. At least ELLIE hadn't changed a bit…

( Eh, sure, why not? ) I said. ( It'll be different… )

I got up and followed Ellie to the door. If there was one thing I HADN'T been expecting, it would have had to be having lunch with HER of all people… but right now, anything to take my mind off last night's outburst was well appreciated.

Anything, to stop me from thinking I was going insane.

… Or, at least, MORE insane.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

**---**

**9:35 at night, and a new chapter of Visser Three's Journal is FINISHED! I thought I would NEVER finish this… it was a toughie! Well, I hope you enjoyed, and remember… next chapter's The Hunt! Oh dear lord, am I ever excited:D**

**Till next time!**


	15. A Perfect Ending?

**A/N: **This chapter is **extremely short**. This happened because I found I simply didn't have much to say in this chapter. It's just kind of a connect-the-dots chapter between **chapter 14 **and the already-written **chapter 16**. Next chapter – that's when the real fun starts. You haven't seen NOTHING yet, people. :P

Also, most of this chapter is more or less a **monologue**. Everything in the **present tense **in this chap is Visser Three's monologue. Hope you enjoy!

_**Dedicated to everyone over at the Morton Avenue McDonald's – would you like some extra happy with that Happy Meal? ;) **_

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 15  
_A Perfect Ending?**

June 29th

Dear Journal,

The morning after my dinner with Ellie, I went to visit Visser Four. Since returning from the medical wing, she'd locked herself up as she had before in the Bug fighter – this time in her room. I honestly feared she would never come out of there.

I walked into her room (she hardly ever left it locked anymore), and found her dozing in bed, looking sickly. When she heard my hooves clopping, she opened her heavy, drooping eyelids and looked up almost reluctantly.

( Are you sick _again_? ) I asked.

" Only temporarily," she said grouchily.

( What do you mean? )

" It happens a lot lately – almost every day for a period of time…" she explained. " And then it stops for the remainder of the day. I just have to wait it out. Probably some persistent virus from Leera…"

I sighed and looked at her frail form, pelletoned under the covers.

( You can't stay in bed forever, you know. )

" Oh no," she replied, dripping fake joy. " Eventually I'll have to get up and vomit again."

( Visser Four, you are so – ) I rolled my eyes, deciding to leave it at that. ( I'll see you later. )

Gathering my hooves, my nose, my stalk eyes and hopefully the rest of my body, I walked away, outside the room, and back into the hallway. And what the heck that whole "gathering" thing was all about, damned if I know.

---

Now, today, it's been exactly two weeks since Visser One was abducted. And, guess what? It's my birthday! This was the day that the Yeerk pretending to be my grandmother was ORIGINALLY supposed to send you, Journal. Can you imagine, if I had only started you now, how much FUN we'd have missed?

… Ahem. "Fun" is perhaps not the term I was looking for, but anyway.

Ah well, still, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE! I am NOT going to let Visser One's absence, Iniss's whining, Ellie's likes, Councilor Four's constant visits or Visser Four's grouchiness ruin MY day!

I had dinner planned with Ellie later to celebrate the occasion. A lot of things have changed these past two weeks, it's incredible! Iniss just came back from his weeklong duty on Earth (hopefully the place isn't incinerated or something equally gruesome), Councilor Two and I have been hanging out a lot and actually became GOOD FRIENDS (what the hell!), and last, but not least, Ellie and I have been going out quite a few times. Going out as in DATING. Yes, with Ellie. Isn't that slightly frightening? … But anyway, she's an okay girl, she really is. And she even "likes" less when on a date!

We're not mates yet, and I don't think we will be anytime soon. I just hope it works out well while it lasts… as long as I don't decapitate her for being a dreadful priss. Which knowing me, I wouldn't doubt.

The only person who hasn't changed much these last two weeks is Visser Four. She's still in her room, sulking. And, strangely enough, still sick. She should really get checked up again… hmm, whatever, if she dies it's her own fault for not following the proper procedures…

As for Visser One, the Empire _did _organize a search party, and _did _look in every corner of the galaxy… but what they didn't do is find Visser One. At the moment, she is presumed dead. We've failed in finding her and the Empire has stopped trying – even if she isn't dead at this moment, she will be soon enough, due to the gruesome ransom.

There'll be a memorial service tomorrow, in Visser One's honor. I didn't want to go, but Ellie is pretty much forcing me to, so… I guess that's that.

It wouldn't be an exaggerration to say I've been a bit snappish toward everyone lately (as in more than usual) – heck, even a LOT snappish! I guess it's because Visser One is gone, and I have no one to argue with… I'll tell you a secret – I used to not be able to imagine life without arguing with her. To me, it was impossible! No joke, Journal! But I'm actually finding it kind of okay, you know? More peaceful, anyway…

Dum-da-da-da-da-DAAAA! Happy birthday, dear Visser! … Oops. Am I humming again? Apparently. Who writes their HUMMING in their Journal, anyway? Wow. Just between you and me, Journal, I AM a loser…

ANYWAY.

If my diary was a novel, this would be the perfect ending. I was happy, Ellie and I were as happy as we could ever be, and my life was finally starting to take a turn for the better. Sure, there were pieces missing… but everyone has those, don't they?

Yeah, if my diary was a novel, this would be the perfect ending. And I wish I could have ended it here, I really do. But unfortunately, life is unpredictable. And before I could do anything about it, it took another turn…

- Riiiiing! Riiiing!

My telecom rang just as I was about to finish my entry, and close you, Journal, for the last time. I walked over to the table where the telecom lay, and hastily picked up, thinking it was Ellie, who had gone out with some female friends for the night.

( Hello? ) I said in a bored tone.

" Visser Three?"

My heart jumped. It was Councilor Two! Why was he calling me at this hour?

_Relax, Visser Three. _I told myself. My heartbeat regulated, but was now pounding at top speed.

( Councilor Two, ) I said.

" Visser Three," he said again, in a concerned tone. " I have some news."

( What is it? ) I asked guardedly. What if Ellie had gotten hurt? Killed? I was surprised at the lack of emotion for her at that moment. Why couldn't I throughly care for Ellie? Why couldn't I ever fully care what happened to her? … Yes, there were some pieces missing. Indeed. But I could live with them.

" I received some information from a reliable source." Councilor Two said a bit shakily. " He says that Visser One is alive. And that she's somewhere on this planet. She's managed to escape her captors. The Andalites were holding her on a deserted part of the planet the entire time, where they knew we'd never think of looking… Visser Three, we have to find her before they do!"

I rolled my eyes. ( Who's _we_, Councilor Two? ) I said a bit irritably. ( Why would I want to find Visser One? You know she's been nothing but turmoil to me my entire life. Why would I even _want _to help her? )

" She would help _you_, if you really needed it," Councilor Two said bitterly, obviously feeling betrayed.

( NO, SHE WOULDN'T! ) I exclaimed, losing my temper. ( I'm her worst enemy just as much as she is mine! )

Councilor Two lost his temper also, then. " Visser Three, you just don't want to see that she has a good side, too!"

( No, ) I said. ( It's all YOU people who don't want to see how bitchy she can get sometimes. You've never seen the other side of her. Be glad you haven't. )

Councilor Two was silent for a moment.

" You realize I could charge you for insubordination right now, right?"

( For what? For speaking the truth? )

Councilor Two sighed. " I won't charge you, we're still friends despite this argument. But since we ARE friends, I hope that you'll come along in this mission. I hope you'll help save Visser One, not for her – but for me."

Ahhh… now I saw what he was up to. Clever, clever. I couldn't refuse, he was Councilor Two. And he was a friend, counting on me.

I didn't delay the inevitable.

( … Alright, I'll help you, ) I said voicelessly. ( What do you want me to do? )

" Okay. Well, since we and the source are the only three people who know of this development, and that there are two huge deserts on the planet, you with search in the Southern Desert and I will search in the Northern. You will not have a ship – too dangerous, as we don't want any Andalites to see us and find out Visser One's location when we find her. Also, we don't want them to know we've realized where she is. They'll move her."

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.

( Very well, then. ) I said. ( When do we leave? )

" Right now would be best," he said. " Better to get a headstart."

( Well, I've got dinner with Ellie tonight… ) I droned, kind of annoyed by Ellie at the moment. ( I'll call and cancel. )

" Oh, alright," Councilor Two said, seeming to feel kind of bad for wrecking our evening.

As for me, I couldn't care any less. I hung up and called Ellie to cancel dinner. Needless to say she wasn't very impressed with me…

I hung up without even saying goodbye.

---

Now, it is currently ten o'clock at night. I met up with Councilor Two outside the Empire Building, and we immediately began our lost search, heading off in opposite directions. Visser One… where are you? Why can't I find you, so I can go back home, where it's warm and comforting, instead of being forced to spend the night in a cold outpost shelter? Tomorrow night, there may not even _be _an outpost shelter.

I could have morphed, but you know as well as I do that none of my bird morphs can see a THING at dark. I would have looked like some sort of drunken gopher, and we cannot have that, because as much as I'd like to be sleeping in the safety and comfort of my own bed, I will not risk MY reputation for YOU.

You sicken me. You and your getting captured all the time. Could you, my worst enemy, not have been some low-ranking Yeerk who never gets any attention? Instead of _Visser One_, the hugest Andalite target in the Empire, who always gets herself into deep shit? Had you been a low-rank, I would not be here right now… And I wouldn't have to risk looking like I care.

Yawn… I'm starting to get tired. I can't go home until I either find you, or get news of Councilor Two that he found you… so might as well be well-rested, eh? I HATE THIS! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE RESCUED! BUT I AM THE ONE FORCED TO DO SO, WHEN ANYONE ELSE WOULD PRACTICALLY HAVE DIED TO BE THE HERO THAT SAVED VISSER ONE! WHY ME? WHY?

And where is Councilor Eight in all this? Has he abandoned you, my dear? Has he, closest to you, left you to fend for yourself through your torture? How does it feel, _Visser One_, to be, for once, the one left lonely, cold and afraid? I revel in your suffering, though no one else does. And yet I am forced to save you from it.

How fair is this?

I hate you, and I can't sleep. Maybe writing it all down is making me too frustrated, too jittery… I'm going to sleep now. I won't write another word.

Good night, Edriss.

For I'm not losing sleep over you.

Until my (morose) return,

Esplin 9466.

---

**Really proud of that ending, myself. What did you think of it, and of the chapter? Short, I know, and Ember, I HAVE NOT forgotten about The Anati Chronicles! I've been REALLY busy. Will review tomorrow, hopefully! If not, Saturday. I'm home all day. **

**Hope you liked, and see you soon for CHAPTER 16:D**

**Two chaps before 18, Kharina!**


	16. Retrievals

**A/N:** For anyone who's interested, the **climax **of the story – **the event the whole story leads up to** – is in this chapter. Hope you find it:P This chapter was written long ago, and I hope you enjoy it!

The next chap of **The Hunt **should be here soon... having problems with dates and consistency. But I know how to fix them. Should be up either later or tomorrow.

**_Dedicated to John Boucher for teaching me what, exactly, the climax of a story is. _**

_**And to my mom, for giving me very early on the love of writing and reading. **_

**Visser Three's Journal**

" 'I love you' is a difficult thing to say – but sometimes it goes without saying." – Anonymous.

_**Chapter 16**_  
**Retrievals**

July 1st.

Dear Journal,

Darkness… the darkness was everywhere. I had been walking around and around in circles, for what seemed like a thousand days. It was the third day – rather, night – of Councilor Two's and my search: By now Visser One could very well be dead… Although wouldn't that be a _good _thing for me? I guess so… But maybe not. I just didn't know, and didn't really care anymore.

It was an hour later, one whole hour, when I finally heard something… At first it was just a faint sound, like it wasn't my ears hearing it, but rather those of someone else… But soon enough, it became more and more audible… And I recognized it. It was the sound of crying. Someone was crying silently, shakingly. In pain.

And I immediately knew who that someone was…

I silently walked up to Visser One, sitting alone in the mud about fifty feet away. She didn't see me, of course... It was almost pitch black out here. Thankfully for me though, Andalites have decent nighttime vision. I could see her trembling, shaking. I could see her blood and tears drowned away in drops of heavy acid rain.

I knelt down beside her in the dark as well as I could with these damn Andalite knees (Gee, THANKS Alloran! I _swear _he does it on purpose) and gently stroked her long black hair. She jerked away.

" You don't think I've had enough of this torture!" she screamed in anguished rage. " You want Yeerk secrets? You'll never get them from me! You hear me? NEVER! Just kill me now! Kill me and just let it _end_! Let it end…"

( Shhh! ) I exclaimed in thought-speech. ( You fricking dapsen! It's only ME! )

For a moment there was only silence. Silence, except for the far away echoes of Visser One's screams...

And then...

" Visser Three?" she asked in an even voice, though I was not disillusioned: I could still hear it crack here and there.

And then, she sighed and spoke again. And as she did, _this _voice was nothing _but _broken.

" Oh lords..." she whispered. And then she added, in a louder, shaking voice, " I never thought I would say this, but I'm so glad you're here!"

She threw her slender, exhausted arms around my thin Andalite shoulders and squeezed tightly. Slightly shaking, and remembering a night so long ago, I wrapped Alloran's pitiful Andalite arms around her waist. And I held her. I held her for a long, long time, lightly stroking her rain soaked back as she cried and hurt from the horrible torture she had just endured.

Yes, I agree with you, Journal! This was _completely_ against my beliefs. My life's rules! Never give in to the devil, no matter how great the temptation may be! But all that was washed away in a second... Washed away in the purifying acid rain of the Yeerk Homeworld.

We stayed like that for what seemed like a decade. But eventually, Visser One's tears slowed. She looked up at me, her eyes sadder than I had ever, ever seen them, as the now-light rain swept away the teardrops which ran down her cheeks.

" Why are you here?" she choked. " Why would _you _save _me_?"

( Hey, ) I said. ( I hate you. Very much, actually. I might end up torturing you myself one day... But no matter how it is you see me, even _I'm _not that cruel. No one deserves that kind of suffering at the hands of that filth. Not even you. ... But I do hate you. I really do! Seriously! )

" Oh, shut up." Visser One said.

I blushed. My mind worked to find an answer to that, but it simply couldn't. Not even now.

" Don't worry," Visser One said softly. " No one ever has to know what happened here. No one ever has to know you came to save me. Think of it as my payment of debt to you for coming."

( Well, okay... ) I said. ( But I'm not sure I trust you. )

" I never asked you to trust me, did I?" Visser One said.

( I suppose not, ) I said, smirking my usual smirk. ( But Iniss will know about this. He _always _knows. I don't know how he finds out, but if he threatens to tell anyone, _I'll _have to threaten _him _to cut his legs and tongue off so he won't be able to. )

Visser One smiled and wiped away her last few tears.

---

Bringing Visser One back was not an easy task… 

First of all, she had to get up, which was not easy for her: The Andalites who had tortured her had given her severe head wounds. Seemingly, the wounds had affected her Yeerk self. She was losing control of her body, though it was on and off. She would definitely need serious treatment as soon as we got back to the Empire building. But would she last that long?

Once she was standing up on shaking legs, wincing in pain, I supported her with my tail so she wouldn't fall. Then, I looked her straight in the eye and sighed.

( Visser One, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but get on my back. ) I said.

" What?" she exclaimed.

( Get on my back, ) I repeated.

Visser One seemed taken aback. " You're sure?"

( Visser One, ) I rolled my eyes. ( This is _kind of _an emergency. )

She shrugged and looked over at me before walking up to my Andalite host and hoisting herself (with the help of my very flexible tail of course) onto my back. I calculated the situation, and realized with relief… she wasn't even that heavy.

I smiled interiorly. Maybe this would be easier than I thought!

I carried Visser One all the way back to the Empire Building. When we arrived, I knelt down and waited for her to climb off my Andalite back... but nothing happened. I shook slightly, forcing her to roll gently down onto the ground below.

( Visser One? ) I asked in private thought-speech, not wanting anyone in the building to overhear. ( Hello! )

She said nothing. My blood iced up for a moment. Was she dead? That seemed impossible... But who knew? The many impacts of my running could have hurt her in places she was already wounded.

I leaned closer to her, and soon realized she was only sleeping. She must have fallen asleep on the way without my noticing.

( Huuuh... ) I sighed. ( Here we go again... )

I morphed to human (which I won't describe with utmost precision like those stupid retarded Andalites), and while the changes occurred I found myself looking down almost dreamily at my arch-rival, sleeping soundly on the rainsoaked ground, her spilt blood staining her clothes and even the unconcealed parts of her skin, which of course were much more numerous now that her clothing had been unavoidably ripped and torn by her torturers.

Yeeeah… About the dreamily thing. It isn't what you think. Really. I was just so tired from searching endlessly that my eyeballs were practically popping out of my head. And it wasn't just because of the morphing!

Fully human, and _strangely _annoyed (I wonder why), I lifted Visser One up from the muddy ground with my now-strong arms, and headed for the entrance.

As I walked closer, the main door slid open soundlessly.

I got to room number three -- my room, of course -- and decided it might be best not to leave Visser One alone with her injuries. It was pretty plain to see she was very badly hurt: Her shirt was almost completely bloodsoaked, and she had diverse cuts and bruises on her arms, face and neck. Also, there were blood patches here and there on her legs. My human morph's hands were wet with her blood.

I clumsily opened the door to the room and walked quickly over to my bed. I laid Visser One's blood ridden, sleeping body down, thinking I could change the sheets tomorrow.

I walked into the bathroom with my hands on my head. The mirror showed me things I didn't want to see: Even in my human morph I had apparent dark circles under my almost expressionless eyes. I had practically died of extreme fatigue over the last few days. And for what? To find a person I didn't even care about!

My mind is messed up.

I need help.

Maybe Iniss has a degree in Yeerk psychology I don't know about… Maybe the incredible dumbness is all just an act! … Yeah, right, dream on Visser Three… When the sun comes out tomorrow morning (which it most certainly won't), Iniss will be smart.

I examined myself in the mirror, turning myself around to see at every angle. My body had lost its usual arrogance and vigour. I was an old, sagging being. Like Alloran, except about FIFTY TIMES WORSE.

I sighed. As much as I wanted to just be tired and blame everything on my overly stressed life, I couldn't. I just couldn't, which made me angry. Frowning and frustrated, I looked back into the mirror, and, knowing Visser One wouldn't hear me, I turned away and slammed my fist as hard as I could on the opposite wall.

" What is _wrong _with me!" I yelled. " WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH!"

I let my hand fall back down, helpless, as I listened to my angered voice echoing off the walls of the bathroom. Then, feeling a sudden boredom, as if the room was too calm, too quiet, I quickly left the now-eerie place and entered my bedroom once again.

To my great relief, I soon noticed Visser One was still sleeping. She hadn't heard anything, then. I sighed and walked over to the bed. I sat down next to Visser One and looked upon her calm, momentarily innocent face and couldn't help but notice her expression: her features were strained even as she slept, her face seemed so pained, so hurt… I felt a pinch in my heart I could not yet comprehend.

Almost subconsciously I started stroking the side of her face with my hand. That flawless, beautiful face I used to look at every single day, in the same way. The familiar, hated face that managed to stay hard as a stone, never cracking, despite all the trauma this one creature had gone through in her life. I felt strange all of a sudden, but ignored the feeling as I was too tired to really ever notice.

Suddenly, as I looked on, Visser One's eyes opened. I jerked my hand away, by a learned reflex. And then, before I could say or do anything else, she screamed. She screamed so loud, I'm sure at least the Yeerks in the east side pool heard her. And her face writhed in horrible agony.

I sat on the bed with her and laid her down gently, stroking her face and her neck. I told her the pain would pass. I told her she would be okay. I told her a lot of things, and I had no clue if any of them would prove to be true. But it was the best I could do to comfort someone who had been through torture. Even if that someone just happened to be my worst enemy.

Suddenly, Visser One turned onto her stomach and clutched her head with both her hands, trembling like a leaf. The tears returned, then, as they stung her eyes and fell onto the blood-ridden sheets below her.

That's what I had figured. The Andalites had starved her. Now, although Visser One had been trained excessively during her Visser training to be able to last up to six days with no Kandrona, her many external -- and possibly even internal -- injuries obviously made it much harder for her to stand the lack of food.

I didn't know what to do. Bringing Visser One to the Yeerk Pool now was completely out of the question. The less people who knew I had rescued her from certain death, the better. I couldn't bring Visser One to the Yeerk Pool without causing an absurd commotion. It would be all over the headlines. All over the Uninet. I could just imagine the headline… _" Visser One Found Alive… by Worst Enemy Visser Three?"_

Well, I'd have to tell Iniss. It would just be cruel if I didn't… Hopefully I'll be able to tell him before his self-starvation takes its toll and I lose my pillow-fluffer.

But right now, none of it mattered. Not really… See, I'd found Visser One. I'd rescued her from a horrible death at the hands of the Andalites who were now in attack mode on our planet. And now I was trying to soothe her, calm her down, hoping she would forget the horrible pain.

And I still didn't know why.

" What? … Visser Three?"

" Yes. It's me."

Her eyes fluttered. She was barely alert, drifting in and out of consciousness.

I couldn't let her fall unconscious again, she may die. Although… Didn't I _want _her to die? Yeah. I did. _Did_. Big did. As in PAST TENSE of the word "do".

Don't question me. Please. Just don't ask.

I held out a hand to cradle her silent face as it fell, exhausted, to the side. She looked up at me with eyes gone red from both crying and the loss of blood.

" Thank you for helping me," she whispered almost inaudibly, gone far beyond her strength.

" Do you feel better?" I asked in response.

" Not really," she admitted, casting me a weak smile. " But I try to ignore it."

I smiled back, then, with my human mouth.

" You'll be better," I said softly. Then I rolled my eyes self-mockingly. " You _always _are."

She laughed, a soft, weak, yet still pleasing sound. A tear rolled down her cheek as she gazed up at me again, settling inevitable silence between us. Her gaze overcame me with utmost bliss, as I helplessly lost myself in it.

And then, at last, I understood.

" Visser One?" I said.

" Hmm?"

" There's something I've been meaning to tell you…" I went on.

" What?"

" It's that…" I blushed and turned away. " I, um… That is, I think I… um."

" Go on," Visser One prodded.

I sighed deeply.

" Never mind."

I could feel her looking at me, but I did not turn back. I was afraid that if I did, I would do something stupid. Something that could make this whole situation even worse…

_I can't believe I'm even thinking about it! _I cursed myself. _Injuries, remember?_

" Yeah," I said, sighing again. I wiped the sweat off my forehead. " Never mind."

" Okay," Visser One whispered.

That's the thing I like about Visser One: Unless it's something extreme that directly concerns her, or that could be used to mock me, she is never, ever curious about anything. She just doesn't give an Andalite's ass.

So I guess I got lucky.

Because what I was about to say, as you may have guessed, a) directly concerned Visser One, and b) could be used to mock me.

I didn't find the courage to turn back. Not yet.

" Visser Three?" Visser One asked.

" What?" I asked.

" What will we do?" she asked again. " … About you saving me?"

With a sigh I turned around and lay down next to her, on the other, still-clean side of the bed.

" I don't know," I admitted. " We'll figure something out."

She just gazed at me, still looking worried. She was right, of course. Who cared how things had mutually changed between us? We had to keep up our public reputation for as long as it took. Without that, our own personal reputations would certainly go down the drain into life in hell…

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

**---**

**Well, there it is! Chapter sixteen! … Hope you all enjoyed that. :) **

**Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter, and I hope you liked this quick update! Stay tuned for more! ;)**

**As for the climax, it can be summed up in one line of the chapter. Please have a guess at it in your review! I will reply to tell you whether or not you got it. :) Should be quite obvious. Good luck and please do review!**


	17. Into the Shadows Again

**Visser Three's Journal**

**T**

**_Chapter 17_  
Into the Shadows Again**

_**Visser One found alive… by Visser Three's Personal Assistant**_

_At four-thirty this morning, the Council received an urgent phone call from a man saying he had found Visser One. Medics immediately rushed to the scene, and sure enough, the Visser was alive._

"_I don't know how I survived," she says, sitting in a hospital room in the Empire Building's medical wing. " I escaped, and I managed to drag myself to the Empire Building, where I collapsed. That's where Iniss found me. He ultimately saved my life," she says of the caller, who was later identified as Iniss Two-Two-Six, personal assistant of rival Visser Three._

_Visser One went missing roughly two weeks ago, captured by the Andalites. According to her, no military information has reached Andalite ears. She is currently healing and resting in the hospital. Her personal assistant, T.E., was not available for comment._

_Iniss Two-Two-Six, on the other hand, was awarded the 50,000 YC reward for saving the Visser. When asked what he will do with this small fortune, he replies. " I don't care. I'm just glad she's safe."_

_This is Kildar 675 for the New Yeerk Times, reporting._

**---**

July 3rd

Dear Journal,

Yeeeeah… Lie in the newspaper much? Hehe, well, we had no choice, okay? Not like I would EVER, in my right mind, save Visser One from certain death. Alright, so I did. But does the whole Empire need to instantly know that? _Nooo_, they don't.

It was pretty easy to pull off. VERY early yesterday morning, not so long after I left you last entry, I morphed to human and carried Visser One halfway down the hall. All she needed to do was crawl the rest of the way to Iniss's room, then let out a high-pitched scream. If we were lucky, no one else would hear her. And if we were REALLY lucky, Iniss hadn't died of blowing his nose and could still "rescue" her.

It worked. At least it _worked_. Iniss heard her, and came rushing outside his room, while I crept into the shadows and waited. He called the Council. Councilor Four, to be exact. Apparently, Councilor Four had been reading WAY too many human novels, because it seems that when he answered the phone, he yelled, "Mommy, five more minutes!"

Okay, so it didn't go EXACTLY as planned. We had planned for it to end up with Visser One safe in the hospital, and for there to be NO SUSPICION of ME. Instead, it ended up with INISS becoming a local hero and instantly earning fifty-thousand Yeerk coins. But hey… it was a sacrifice I had to make… If I just keep telling myself that, maybe I'll somehow _forget _that Iniss is suddenly almost forty thousand Yeerk coins richer than me.

I can always just… take… the money from him. I keep overlooking that little detail.

But still. Why me? Why always _ME_? …

To worsen things, at the moment (which now happens to be yesterday), I was sitting in a hospital room. With Visser One.

Most of her injuries were in the healing process. They were letting her rest for a half-hour before proceeding. Her eyes were closed when I'd walked in – and still were.

I gathered up my courage, reached over and poked her. She jerked awake.

" Mmmmmmrrrrrr…" she groaned sleepily, rubbing her eyes. " Damn you, taking away my flakies…"

( No one's taking away your flakies, Visser One, ) I said. ( It's just me. )

Her eyes opened, then. " Visser Three?"

( Yes. … How are you feeling? Horrible, I hope. )

" Not so bad, _actually_," she stuck out her tongue at me. " It's going to take a couple more hours to fix all the damage, but they said I'll be okay."

She sat back on her bed and stared into space. Didn't look all that happy, really. I guess the Andalites hardcore "peed in her cornflakes", as the humans say.

( What are you having for lunch? ) I asked lamely, trying to hold up the actually CIVIL conversation we had going…

" What, are you stalking me or something?" … Never mind.

( You sub-moron, WHY would I do that? )

Visser One suddenly grinned wildly. She took a deep breath.

" Because you LOOOOOOOOOOOVE me!"

( Yeah RIGHT! ) I jumped back, repelled. ( That is NASTY! )

Wow… Very mature conversation you've got going here, Visser Three.

" Na na na na NA na!" Visser One sang, looking at me like she had a gopher stuck up her throat.

That's when I realized she was on heavy medication.

( Oooooookay, Visser One… ) I said, placing my hands on her shoulders. ( You know what? I've got something for you. )

" For me?" she giggled. Yes, GIGGLED. " Why, you SHOULDN'T have!"

" I'm beginning to think the same thing…" I muttered.

Off the shelf I took a box I had carefully hidden while Visser One was sleeping, and handed it to her. I think she opened it quickly enough…

" Oh, VISSER THREE!" she said disdainfully. I wonder why? Hehe.

See, the present just happened to be… a red and black sweater which wrote "Esplin 9466 for Visser One" on it, along with a huge picture of MY FACE. I figured if anything would piss her off, besides my face (which I'd at first considered making the whole sweater), it would be the illusion that I would be stealing her rank. Which was no lie.

The sweater was also very soft.

( Have the most horrible birthday yet, you dapsen! ) I said merrily, gloating at the look on her face.

" I can't believe you actually remembered," she said a little woozily, but angrily all the same.

( Of COURSE I remembered your birthday, ) I said. ( How could I not? It's THREE FRICKING DAYS after mine. )

" Ohh, riiiiight!" Yeah. _Click_, Visser One.

And then, as I went back to where I had been standing, Visser One started humming an INFERNAL TUNE. I massaged my temples.

_Why me? _I whimpered interiorly, rolling my eyes.

Then, just when I thought things couldn't get ANY worse, INISS walked in. More like LEAPED in, with shoes like nothing I'd ever seen.

( Iniss? What the -- )

" VISSER, guess whath?" he yelped excitedly, jumping in front of me. " I've been readingth _Shakespeareth_!"

Oh, lord.

" Oh brotherth, whereth forth arth thouth?" Iniss said dramatically, leaping around the room like the ballerina from hell.

( Iniss, where where WHERE did you learn to talk like that? ) I exclaimed, cursing myself for coming here in the first place.

_It was either this or having a "cooking date" with Ellie, _I reminded myself.

" The TAXXONTH!" Iniss squeaked happily. " I was cleaningth the Bladeth Shipeth with the Taxxonth, and he toldeth me thath he wasth a FANTH of SHAKESPEARETH!"

I just kind of stood there.

( Iniss, what the HELL. ) I said. ( Please tell me Shapesdeer or whatever his name is does not REALLY talk like that. )

Iniss nodded frantically. " Yes, yes he doeseth!"

Without replying, I grabbed Iniss by the arm and dragged him out of the room.

( WE are going to see that stupid Taxxon. ) I said murderously as I walked down the hallway. ( BYE, VISSER ONE! )

" But Visserth!" Iniss yelled as we disappeared around the corner. " Skakespeareth is my LIFETH! You cannoth taketh him awayth! Visserth, NOTH! _NOTH_! …"

---

A short while after that… that _episode_, Visser One came to see me. She was completely healed now, for it had only taken our scientists a few hours to repair the damage. The physical damage, that is… it would take a very long time to repair the emotional scars of torture. Visser One was already very emotional to begin with (that's what happens when a female tries to be a Visser), so it would be even harder. I could see that in her eyes when she walked in and sat down next to me. Of course, she didn't _want _me to see it… So she turned away. But I knew her all too well.

" Don't hide from me," I said bitterly. " I know what you're feeling."

Visser One didn't budge. " You don't know a _thing_." she responded icily.

" Then why are you here?"

I guess she had no answer to that. She turned around, and I was mildly surprised to see her large black eyes filled with tears, her face contorted into an expression of anguish. My own eyes saddened… how I hated to see her cry. I turned away, pained, afraid of my own deeper emotions for this creature I so despise.

Visser One crawled closer to me on the sofa, resting her head softly on my shoulder. She needed warmth, and comfort… bitterly I added to myself, _all because Councilor Eight isn't here to give it to her…_

Where WAS Councilor Eight, anyway? Not that I minded Visser One's head on my shoulder – just, honestly, how much of a bad person could he be? How low can you get to abandon your own MATE in such a time of need? It angered me, how much of a bad mate he was. Did he not realize Visser One needed him now, more than ever?

I had to give Councilor Two some credit though, if not Councilor Eight. He spent the entire morning with Visser One in her room. That, people, is a SACRIFICE. Now there's a caring mate.

My fingers tentatively touched Visser One's trembling arm before my own arm wrapped around her body. I held her softly, stroking her back, and saw her silently close her eyes, letting two tears slide slowly down her cheeks.

I nuzzled my face into her silky black hair, making her laugh softly. I smelled her soft fragrance and closed my eyes in the peace of it all.

She lifted up her face to look at me, gazing up with those amazing black eyes of hers. I lifted my hand and softly touched her face, tracing its shape with my fingertips. She was beautiful. Oh, how she was beautiful…

Suddenly, before I could do anything to help myself, I was kissing her! Her lips locked with mine and kissed me back. Soon, I had my arms wrapped around her waist, hers around my neck, and before I knew it, we were laying on the couch and –

Visser One pushed me back. " Esplin, no!"

I let go of the sweater button I was undoing. I sighed. " … You're right. Okay. Okay."

We pulled ourselves up and just kind of… sat on the couch. No, I mean it was very awkward. Sort of mortifying, even. The she sat THERE, I sat HERE kind of awkward.

I had a sudden urge to start whistling. I resisted.

" What do you think you're doing, kissing me?" Visser One raged.

I looked at her as if an Andalite bandit had just announced he was pregnant with my child (and yes, I did say HE). " How DARE you accuse ME of all this? Can't you at least be a BIT less of an UNCARING _ELFANGOR _and take on SOME of the responsibility?"

" I have two mates!" she shouted. " And you LEAPED onto me!"

" Oh, because I so _leaped_," I said, rolling my eyes at Visser One's exhuberant exaggerration. " You dapsen, if you weren't cuddling me and touching my chest like some slut, I may have been less inclined to --"

" _How dare you!_" Visser One yelled at the insult.

" I don't know WHY I even kissed the likes of YOU." I said, moderately disgusted. " That's gross."

Visser One scowled at me. " Visser Three, get out."

" This is MY ROOM!" I shrieked. " I LIVE HERE!"

" _Fine_," she spat. She stood up, straightened her clothes with whatever dignity she still possessed, and started to walk away. But before she could even take two steps, I reached out and pulled her back.

" LET GO, YOU CREEP!" she exclaimed.

I let her go. " Okay, dapsen, BE LIKE THAT."

She walked out of the room. But just before she left, I saw the strangest look in her eyes…

I smirked. " One… Two…"

Visser One opened the door and came running back inside.

" Three," I said, satisfied.

She ran back to me and grasped my hands. " You want to go somewhere?"

" Excuse me?" I asked, very surprised.

" Come on," Visser One said.

Too surprised to protest, I followed her out into the hall and down the shaft to the first floor. Then, we walked outside. Outside, into the rain.

I had saved Visser One's life. Me, not Iniss. But to protect our hateful relationship, I had stepped back into the shadows. Being the worst enemy I was. So why was she bringing me outside, plain as day, where anyone could see us? Was she throwing out all our efforts to pretend nothing had changed?

" Visser One, why are we here?" I asked.

She just kept walking. And soon, we were far enough away from the Empire Building that no one would have even a chance of spotting us. It was storming, and I was starting to get cold. So as we walked, I demorphed into my Andalite form.

" Ever since I was young, I've loved running in the rain," Visser One said simply, after a long silence. " I find it helps me forget my problems."

We stopped, and looked at each other for a long time. I still didn't know why she'd brought me with her. I guess I never would know. All I knew is that right now, she wasn't the only one who had problems she wanted to forget… Things she wanted to throw into the back of her mind…

I smiled like only an Andalite could.

( So, let's run in the rain, ) I said, defeated.

She smiled back. " Yeah. Let's run in the rain."

And so we ran in the rain. And I don't know about Visser One… but I know she was right. I certainly managed to forget my problems… and my confusion. At least for a while.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

---

**Thanks for reading! Please don't forget to review!!!**

**Stay tuned… for chapter 18:D At last! It's a chapter you simply CAN'T afford to miss. I mean it.**  
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	18. Rainy Days and Rainy Nights

A/N: Here it is at last! The most anticipated Visser Diaries Trilogy chapter ever. We've been talking about this chapter since Visser Three's DIARY! What happens that's so important, you ask? Hehe. Read and find out. ;)

_**Dedicated to Kharina, of course. Thanks for all your support and good advice throughout the fic -- and for your flattering impatience when it came to this chapter. (: Hope you enjoy!!**_

_**Also, to Concrete Angel. Hun, it's HERE at last:D Best friends forever:3 And thanks for betaing.**_

**_To all the Closet Fans -- enjoy. This one's for all of you._**

**Visser Three's Journal**

"When you want what you've never had, you must do what you've never done." – author unknown.

**_Chapter 18_  
Rainy Days and Rainy Nights**

Still July 3rd.

Dear Journal,

Since we were stranded in the rain, we hurried up in order to get back to the Empire Building. As I looked over at Visser One I realized she was soaking wet. As was I.

" You poor… creepy… dapsen!" Visser One exclaimed, gasping from running so much.

" You poor… engineer… lover!" I shot back, smirking.

" Oh, you're… gonna GET IT!" she screamed, laughing.

She slapped my arm. Before she could bring her hand back down to her side, I took it and we ran hand in hand the last few feet.

At last we slowed down and came to a stop in front of the wall of the building. Visser One took back her hand to then press it against the wall, gasping for breath, her wet hair plastered on the sides of her head and a radiant smile on her face.

" That… was the most fun I've had in a… very long time," she said.

" Me… too," I replied.

We both fell silent then, too exhausted to say much else. I looked at her, looked deep into her soul, at the beast behind the beauty, at the Visser One _I _knew, not the one that everyone else thought they did.

" You know," I said, " As much as I hate to admit it, if you got killed I'd probably miss you."

She smirked. " If I got killed I'd probably miss me too."

I raised an eyebrow. Then I laughed. " Ha ha. Very funny." I smiled. " Typical you."

Then, suddenly enough, I leaned in and kissed her. I don't even know what made me do it. Probably just the sudden onslaught of affection I felt at the thought of losing her. My greatest rival. My one truest enemy.

In some ways my soul mate.

To my surprise, she kissed me back. And not just because she had to, like at Councilor Four's friends' gathering, long, long ago. No… not at all like that. This time she wanted it.

As did I. Like you really didn't guess that.

I clasped both my hands on the wall each side of her head. She had her hands on my chest, her eyes closed as our kisses became more passionate.

I touched her face with my hands. I didn't need to see her mouth to know she was smiling. Nor did I need to see her eyes to know she was crying.

She pulled away abruptly. " Esplin…" she whispered in desperation.

" Shut it," I said softly enough. " Don't worry yourself. No one has to know."

She pulled me roughly against her and the kissing continued. I picked her up and carried her through the rain, up to a side door leading into the Empire Building. There was a shaft right beyond the door which would lead us to the twenty-first floor: Vissers' rooms. I pulled the door open and ran to the shaft almost subconsciously, still clinging to Visser One for dear life.

Once the shaft was in motion, I slammed her against the wall in pure passion and let her down to her feet. She groaned (well, it hurt) and grabbed my arms, looking at me with something I couldn't quite place.

The shaft stopped. The door slid open. Twenty-first floor. Before Visser One could object, I hoisted her back up onto my shoulder and carried her out into the hallway. I stopped at her room.

" _My _room?" she inquired.

" Why not?" I gasped with desire.

She leaned over and pushed in her code hurriedly. She got it wrong the first time in her rush, got angry, and slammed her foot in frustration into my ribs. I let out a muffled "YOW!" and dropped her promptly. She banged her head against the wall.

" Thanks a lot!" she gasped.

" You _kicked _me in the ribs!" I yelled, appalled. " What was I supposed to DO?"

" Take it like the Visser you are!" she spat. " You pitiful excuse for a damn warrior, freaking Andalite _arisths _have more endurance than you do."

She entered her code again and this time, thankfully, got it right. Good. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

As soon as the door slid open, I grabbed Visser One by the legs, threw her up over my shoulder and ran into the room like my life depended on it. She kissed me and stroked my face with her hands until I could no longer run in a straight line. But I didn't mind it. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders then as I ran across a final hall and reached her brilliantly maintained and vast bedroom. It was a magnificent room, containing her whirlpool hot tub, and of course her enormous, gold-covered bed. I walked over to same bed, and threw her down on it. She lay there on her back in her gold-and-black Visser uniform, and I knew that despite my hatred for her, she was the only Yeerk I could ever see myself with like this. I mean, what else _is _there? Ship slaves, scientists, and maybe a couple of Sub-Vissers. Visser One was really the only one I could relate to. And I really, really hated that fact…

Because I loved her now for different reasons than that.

" Edriss…" I whispered as I looked at her. It was the first time I had uttered her true name in longer than I could recall. We normally referred to each other by our titles, being enemies and all. But with the situation at hand I figured it wasn't necessary. It _was _a truly beautiful name. I thought about it and savoured it in my mind, beautiful and soft and exquisite. _Edriss_. Such an amazing name for a truly amazing Yeerk.

She got up, pulled down the covers and got in under them, fully dressed. She was really going to do this, I thought in sudden shock. We were really going to do this!

I rolled my eyes, more at myself than at her.

" What?" she demanded.

( I have to _demorph_, ) I said droningly. ( Wait a second. )

Edriss didn't object. She lay on her back under the sheets and stretched her arms out over her head, then left them there, relaxed. Shedding my outer clothes, I demorphed as quickly as I could, back to my Andalite form. I hate to admit it, but I was filled with anticipation. As soon as I was done, standing there with four hooves, blue fur, stalk eyes and a tail, Alloran piped up.

( Esplin. Oh for the lords' sake, no. ) he pleaded. ( Not this. Not _my _body! I'm MARRIED, you fool! )

I rolled my eyes interiorly. How embarrassing. ( Alloran. ONE, get out of my private life! And two, I'm not even _using _your body! I'm using a human morph! )

( I don't care! _Her _name is NOT Jahar! I do not think her name is Jahar! You cannot do this! )

( You've had plenty of fun with your little Jahar. For the Emperor's sake, let me have MY fun! )

( She's not even your _mate_, you retard! ) Alloran yelled hysterically. ( She hates your guts! How oh HOW did I get mixed up in such a screwed relationship…? )

( It is not screwed! ) I exclaimed. Then, because evidently I just _love _to humiliate myself, I had to add… ( It _will _be screwed soon though. )

( Esplin! ) Alloran protested, appalled. ( You are sick! And please, do not include me in this. I do NOT need to see what Yeerk Vissers do in bed, okay? I just DON'T! That's. Just. Gross. )

( Unfortunately, I cannot exclude you, ) I said, emphasizing the "unfortunately" part. ( You'll just have to ignore it. And _please_, PLEASE keep your damn comments to yourself! )

Alloran pouted, and I blocked him out as best I could as I reversed the morph back to human. I would have two hours before I would have to demorph again. That seemed like so little time… But it would have to do. There was no way I would become a nothlit.

As soon as my last human features appeared, I found I was slightly _freezing my ass off_ wearing nothing but tight morphing shorts.

" Do you not have _heating_ in this room?" I exclaimed dryly, my teeth chattering.

" Actually, yes," Visser One replied. " Do you not have _clothes_? Now get in!"

I looked at her. I never would have thought that out of the both of us, Visser One would actually be most eager. Not that I wasn't eager... ohh… are you stupid or something?!

Of course, I wasn't about to refuse her demands… I stepped to the bed, pulled up the covers and quickly got in. Visser One wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders and I kissed her passionately. This was happening. I still couldn't believe it was really happening…

The night of a lifetime.

I felt Visser One's soft hands on my chest, become dry again from the morphing. I was wearing nothing but the shorts, of course, and SHE was still fully clothed. How fair is that!

Without warning, I reached forward and pulled out her ponytail. I preferred her hair down, and it would no doubt be uncomfortable for her to lay on her back with a fricking scrunchie jabbing into the back of her head. Not that I cared or anything – I just didn't want her COMPLAINING the entire time. I watched her silky black hair fall, still damp, to the sides of her head.

Her hands massaged my ribs. It felt good. My own hands started to roam around as well as we pulled closer. Visser One leaned over and started to kiss my throat softly… Oh, the feeling, the feeling…

" Ooh…" I whispered. " Stop that…!"

" Why?" she teased.

" _Because_," I shoved her away, embarrassed. Then, microseconds later, I was back in her arms and kissing her soft face. She looked at me, and her black eyes glimmered with all the stars in the sky. I lifted her uniform top over her head, then a black tank top, and all that remained was a silk undershirt with a built-in bra. Visser One's host, for a human female, doesn't have much of a bosom. I think she is a "B-36", whatever that means, and she once told me I screamed so much like a female that I should be a "C". But in any case, her small bosom and narrow figure allows her to wear those little shirts and do them justice. The thing looked adorable on her.

" It's cute," I commented neutrally, poking her stomach to indicate the undershirt.

" I'm CUTE now, Esplin?" Visser One raised a skeptical eyebrow. " I never thought you'd be one to sweet talk…"

" NO, no the shirt, you retard! Not YOU!"

I gathered her affectionately into my arms and kissed her moist lips. She was wearing lip gloss, and I could still taste it, even now. As our kisses became more ardent, we found ourselves rolling around on the bed, our arms wrapped around one another. I was left laying on top of Visser One by the time our lips parted and we both gasped for breath.

I buried my face in her hair, the way I'd seen Councilor Eight do it so many times. It was calm and pleasing. Her hair smelled good… I was suddenly overcome with passion for her, finally able to consumate my fiery obsession with the person I still hated above all else. I quickly pulled off her undershirt and then took a bit more time with her uniform bottom, sliding it tentatively down and leaving her wearing nothing but tiny black underwear. She looked at me alarmed, surprised at my sudden aggressive reaction. I smirked at her. She smirked back and sat up to wrap her slender arms around my shoulders, and nibble my earlobe softly. I lied her down gently under me, pressing my already sweating chest against the smooth skin of her bare upper body.

I drew up the long, silky covers of her bed to warm us, for it was cold in the room despite the warmth and seduction of her body. I drew back and looked down at her. She let me gaze, but seemed… I don't know, a bit shy.

" You still want to do this?" I asked her seriously.

" … Yes. Do you?"

" … Yes."

" Well then," she smirked. " What are we waiting for?"

She reached up and pulled down my tight morphing shorts. Then, she gazed at me for a long time, with wide eyes. I didn't know what she was thinking, but she seemed a bit nervous.

" It's okay," I murmured, leaning forward to kiss her. Her skin was so soft and welcoming.

" Yeah." she agreed, nodding as if to convince herself. " Yeah."

I leaned down and kissed her stomach and her abdomen before slowly pulling off her underwear. We were both completely naked now, covered only by the warm covers of her bed.

Soon enough, Visser One and I were deep in the throes of an act we'd previously been repulsed at the thought of ever accomplishing together, willingly. During this experience, it became clear to me that Visser One and I, although in a most hateful way, were absolutely crazy about each other. We both held so much passion for each other that it almost frightened me. In a strange way, a way deeper than usual, I adored her. And despised her.

I was crazy, I realized. I was obsessed. Obsessed beyond all reason with my archenemy.

For a long time we lay in that bed, doing what we both felt we needed to do. We couldn't have resisted any longer, even if we'd tried.

" Esplin…" Visser One moaned softly as I finally pulled out of her and lay on my side, exhausted and drenched in sweat.

I gathered her into my arms and held her tightly. " Oh, Edriss…"

She closed her eyes and rested her head on the pillow, facing me. Her hair was wet, plastered to the sides of her head. I kissed her closed eyelids and drew her closer yet. I ran my hands through her hair as she caught her halting breath.

She separated from me then. Her black eyes looked through me and the lines of her face were drawn into an expression of seriousness.

" I can't believe it," she sighed.

" We finally did it," I said softly, awed. " After all that, after all those years, it finally happened."

" And you liked it didn't you, you big dapsen?" She smirked through her tears.

" Oh, and you didn't?" I smirked back. " I saw you a while ago, you know, jerking around and screaming and begging for mercy."

She frowned and slapped me. " I did not BEG FOR MERCY, you retard! If anyone was _begging for mercy _here, it was you!"

" So you do acknowledge that you _did _jerk around and scream." I smirked. " Well, at least that's a step further…"

Visser One punched me in the shoulder. I pushed her away. She shoved me. I frowned and shoved her right back.

She attempted to slap me, but I caught her hand, yanked her forward and kissed her passionately. She responded quickly, and rolled on top of me. My hands were immediately running their course along her slender back. She shivered and deepened our kiss.

Passionate once again, I suddenly threw her on her back and climbed onto her a second time. I thought I heard something fall, but I ignored it… after all, it was probably only me – knocked something over on the nightstand, no doubt. We continued, oblivious to everything but each other.

" Esplin…" Visser One mumbled from under me.

" Edriss!" I responded.

I heard a door open. What the hell! I spun around, and –

" EDRISS!" Councilor Eight yelled from the doorframe. " WHAT THE HELL!"

" Councilor Eight!" Edriss cried, throwing me off and shooting up like a board, covering herself with the now-loose bedsheets. " What are you doing here?"

" What am _I _doing here?" Councilor Eight raged, his face red from hurt and anger. " I'm your MATE! What is HE doing here? Furthermore, what is he doing in bed with YOU?"

Sensing a confrontation, I found my morphing shorts and quickly slipped them on.

" Councilor Eight, you don't understand!" Visser One panicked. " Just please, let me explain!"

" No, no Edriss, it's too late for that," Councilor Eight said bitterly. " I thought you loved me, and I guess I was proven wrong."

" Esplin and I have been through a lot together, lately," Visser One said, trying to keep her voice on a steady level. " Things have been very confusing for us. I didn't mean for this to happen, oh, please, forgive me!"

Tears came to her eyes and rolled down her red cheeks as she sat there, naked and humiliated, trying to convince her mate that she didn't mean to cheat on him, or on Councilor Two. It must not have looked very convincing.

" Edriss, I don't know if I can do that," Councilor Eight said. " See, you've betrayed me. You've broken my heart. I love you so much… how could you do this to me? How could you, considering all I've done for you? I've given you EVERYTHING, Edriss! How can you just throw it all away?"

" I didn't!" Visser One cried hysterically. " I didn't! I love you, please, don't do this!"

" What choice do I have, Edriss?" he choked, tears coming to his own eyes now. " I thought for sure you'd have realized who I am by now!"

She seemed taken aback by that. " What are you talking about?"

" It's ME, Edriss!" he yelled, gesturing to himself. " It's me, Essam! Essam Two-Nine-Three, remember me? I've been alive all this time! And I came back because despite myself, I still loved you! But now, all of that is for NOTHING! All my efforts to tell you earlier… all shot to hell now!"

WHAT? Councilor Eight was ESSAM? All this time… all this time, the annoying, macho Councilor act had only been exactly that, and he'd been Visser One's first mate, Essam, the entire time?

Visser One seemed winded. Her eyes were wide in shock, and she couldn't breathe.

" You don't love me anymore," Councilor Eight said softly, betrayed, tears leaking down his cheeks. " It's over, Edriss. You broke my heart, and I can't be with you anymore. Just know that I'll always love you, and that I'm sorry. But it's over."

Hurt and sobbing, he ran out of the room. That's when it really hit Visser One. _All _of it.

" OH MY GOD!" she screamed hysterically. " OH MY GOD! ESSAM! I'm SORRY! Please, please, _please_! Oh, Essam, COME BACK! LET ME EXPLAIN! Oh, oh, oh…!"

She sobbed loudly. I reached out to hold her, but she pushed me back.

" DON'T TOUCH ME!" she yelled angrily. " This is _all your fault!_"

I drew back and let her sulk alone. I knew better than anyone how much of a bitch Visser One could be when she felt hurt and angry, so I left her alone for a while. I even went to the bathroom to demorph and remorph in order to leave her some time to herself. Hey, I can be a sensitive guy when I want to be.

When I was back, and when she was through with wallowing in self-pity, she looked at me with huge, sad eyes and said, " Esplin, I didn't mean that. It's not all your fault. You know that, right?"

" Yeah," I said. " I know."

She came closer and let herself be cradled in my arms. I felt a now familiar longing for her, but ignored it. I looked at her, so beautiful, and kissed her burning forehead.

" You know…" I whispered in her ear, " I actually don't regret doing this with you to the point of brutal suicide. And I really am sorry about Councilor Eight."

" Me too," she said sadly. But then she laughed, in a bittersweet way. " And me neither, surprisingly enough."

I hugged her tightly. As strange as it seemed, it would actually be okay with me to stay like this forever, with my worst enemy in my arms, and the sweet smell of a burning candle nearby.

I never wanted to let her go. She was a part of me now. She'd always been a part of me…

… Not that I'd ever TELL her that, of course. DUH, Journal.

She crawled up to kiss my lips with her warm ones. I wrapped my arms around her, letting her body warm my own, gone cold from my trip to the bathroom. I gently stroked her silky black hair until she fell asleep just like that, on my chest, not bothering to get dressed again. I lay there for a long time just watching her sleep (she looks so cute when she's sleeping), but when my eyelids drooped so much I couldn't keep them open, I rolled her gently off me and tucked the covers over her shoulders. She didn't awaken.

" Good night, you dapsen," I whispered between a few soft kisses on her lips.

I demorphed, back to my Andalite form, pressed "off" on my alarm, and blew out the dim candlelight with my hand. Then, in the dark, I cuddled up close to Visser One, running my hands along her flawless body, then finally letting my arm rest around her waist. I rubbed my cheek against hers, remembering this night, and knowing I would forever. I closed my eyes, feeling and hearing the slow, steady sounds of her breathing against my collarbone, and like that I fell asleep.

And for the first time in a long while, I did not dream that horrid dream.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

---

**That is it, everyone. The long wait is finally over. :P**

**So. How was it? Questions, comments, concerns, complaints? (No flames though, but concrit is ENCOURAGED!) PLEASE don't forget to review! Love y'all!**

**Also, if you think this is too explicit to be rated T (I doubt it, but anyway), please, PLEASE tell me. I wouldn't want my story to be deleted!**

**Anyway, that was chapter 18, but the story's not over. Hehe. Not by FAR. This is only the beginning, kids, and we've still got six chapters and a whole fic to go. ;) Stay tuned... Till next time!**


	19. Me and my Grumpy

**A/N:** This A/N is mostly directed to **MsTria** – you'll notice that I didn't explain why V1 was crying in chapter 14 in this chapter. That's because this chapter originally had a much different setting (which I was blocked hardcore on), but I had writer's block so I decided to scrap the plan and write "from the heart". :P So yeah… this chapter just kind of happened. I promise I'll find room for it next chap:)

_**Dedicated to Birdie num num, whose update inspired me to write this new chapter. When I saw her update I said to myself, "Heck, Sinister, even BIRDIE'S updating! Time to get to work!" :P Hope you enjoy. **_

**_Chapter 19_  
Me and my Grumpy**

Oh, screw the DATE, I'm not in the _khaput napi_ MOOD.

Dear Journal,

" VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSERRRRRRRRR!!" Iniss cried shrilly, waking me from my belated slumber. I shot up like a board ( well – as well as an Andalite can anyway, which caused me to almost break my neck), then shot an angry look at the clock.

ONE THIRTY. PM.

Geez, Visser Three… might want to cut down on the oatmeal there buddy. That's late even for ME. And you all know me… I NEED my beauty sleep.

Not that I'm not already beautiful enough, of course.

( Iniss, what do you WANT? ) I yelled. ( I'm TRYING to sleep. Can you not go poke a stick up somebody else's nostril? Just for today? )

" But VIIIIIIIIIIIIISSERRRRR! What are you doing in VISSER ONE'S room?"

I raised an eyebrow at the image of Iniss in my mind. Visser One's room? Pfft. Why would I be in –

OH, SHIT!

It's all coming back to me now!

I looked over to the other side of the bed, and realized Visser One wasn't there. Rolling my eyes and sighing dramatically, I heaved myself along the mattress to peek down on the floor.

As expected, there was Visser One, slumped onto the ground with one of the blankets, clutching her pillow for dear life. The THING had fallen off the bed. Wonderful. And even better, she was still fast asleep.

How? How to hide her from Iniss? I mean, not to be "MEAN" or anything, but if Iniss was to figure out that I had spent the night in Visser One's room WITH Visser One… chances are the entire Empire would know the whole damn story, fake details included, by early next week. Stupid Iniss… he's like a freaking "P-Bay" guarantee: "My knowledge of Visser Three's NEW secret get-together: Please allow two business days for shipping."

I jumped off the bed in a hurry, what with Iniss still screaming "VIIIIISSEEEERRRR!!!!" like a god damn Elfangor wannabe, and practically LEAPED over to Visser One's side of the bed. I looked under the large piece of furniture and seriously considered shoving Visser One under it. But unfortunately, I was not dense enough not to realize big fat Edriss would NEVER fit.

( Stupid FLAKIES, ) I muttered to no one.

I was going to be the laughing chalk of the Yeerk Empire.

I know what you're thinking. "Visser Three, you stupid moron! Just leave him out there! He'll go away eventually."

Hahahaha… I wish, Journal. But had you and my stupid Diary actually LISTENED to my life so far, you would have realized that with Iniss, it just doesn't work that way.

… I knew the drama, romance, and wubby-dubby shit couldn't last forever. The return to complete insanity was just a pending fate.

Yes, wubby-dubby. WOULD YOU LEAVE ME _ALONE_?

" Visser!!! Why are you ABANDONING me?"

( Iniss! ) I sighed melodramatically, raising my stalk eyes to the ceiling. ( For shit sakes, I'm COMING! )

I was so angry I let go of Visser One, left her lying half-stuffed under the narrow space between the bed and the floor, and ran like the Chickens to the door.

When I opened it, I found myself standing face to face with, just as I suspected, Iniss, wearing bahama shorts and a red shirt that spelled out "SEXY" in neon green letters, and with a big bowl of creamy brown MUSH in his left hand, a strawberry Twinkie in his right (probably to lure Visser One), giant pink slippers on his feet and a pair of huge round glasses.

Man, I hate it when I'm right.

( Iniss, honestly, WHAT DO YOU WANT? ) I exclaimed, careful to only open the door as much as necessary. Iniss, being Iniss, wouldn't be smart enough to realize I was hiding something anyway.

" I want to know what you're dooooiiing!" Iniss whined.

GAH. In my anger at Iniss's incessant screaming, I had COMPLETELY forgotten to come up with a half-decent excuse for my being in Visser One's room! What to say, what to say?

( That's none of your business, ) I finally said sharply.

Iniss's eyes widened. " YOU DIDN'T."

… Okay, so maybe he's a bit smarter than I thought.

( NO! ) I lied. ( Iniss, I didn't do anything with Visser One. She's my WORST ENEMY! )

She WAS my worst enemy. It was all true.

So why had I…

… No time. No time to think about small issues.

" So, why are you HERE?" Iniss asked, trying, impossibly, to make a tough guy out of himself.

I decided to take the LAME EXCUSE approach. It was really all I had left.

( You see, Iniss, the reason why I'm in Visser One's room is because Visser One is not here, ) I said. ( In fact, she's… staying with Councilor Two for the weekend. )

" But Visser," Iniss whined. " That still doesn't explain why you're in Visser One's room."

( Hahaha, of course it doesn't, ) I laughed nervously, peeking back into the room.

The BLOOD almost DRAINED from my FACE. Why? Because STUPID VISSER ONE WAS NO LONGER ON THE FLOOR! Why lords? Why? Why always me?

I turned back to Iniss. ( Hehe. )

" Why, Visser? Why are you here? _I_ WANTED TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN VISSER ONE'S ROOM!!"

( YOU? ) I practically screamed. ( _Why_? )

" Because I wanted to look through her bra drawer," Iniss smiled shrewly.

WHAT.

THE.

SEEROW.

… But hey, let's look on the bright side: Finally, I was driving him off the subject! I smiled inwardly. But just as I was starting to celebrate…

… Visser One poked her head through the door.

Why, that little BUGGER.

" You wanted to look through my WHAT?" Visser One exclaimed, red with anger.

I turned around. ( HeHEE! … Visser One! What a _pleasant _surprise! )

" Huh?" Visser One asked boredly, having apparently slipped on her gold bathrobe. " What are you talking about, you moron, I just -"

( Do you WANT Iniss to notify the whole Empire that we slept together? ) I exclaimed privately to Visser One. She seemed to have just noticed my stupid P.A. ( Just play along, you dapsen! )

Instantly Visser One had a huge, teethy smile on her cute little face.

" – I just came IN!" she practically yelled. " Visser Three, Iniss, what are you both doing in my room? You know there's a keypad outside. Iniss… did you steal my god damn code again?"

Iniss stared at Visser One, as he always seems to do. "Y-yes, Visser One, I did."

" Well, evidently you are just a stupid pervert," Visser One said snobbishly. " Now, if you'll _excuse _me… I have business to attend to."

She walked off like the stuck-up dapsen she is, but once she was clear behind Iniss's back, she turned around and gestured at me to come along.

I discreetly waved one of my stalk eyes. She rolled her black pupils, shook her head and walked off.

( Well Iniss, ) I said stupidly. ( It's been nice catching up! I am going back to my room, bye! )

And before he could say anything, in a flash, I was gone.

---

Of course, once I caught up to Visser One, it didn't take us long to run like lunatics all the way to my room. Because, as big and grand as Visser One's room is, it still doesn't take away the fact that my room is NEXT DOOR.

Once arrived, Ellie, who was cooking in the kitchen, didn't even notice Visser One and me running into the room, sliding the door shut at maximum power behind us, and laughing like a couple of idiots. Well… laughing like a couple of idiots until our expressions became all grim and murderous.

I was GRUMPY. Visser One was GRUMPY. And I could tell, just by hearing Ellie growl in the kitchen, that she was also GRUMPY.

So that's how, fifteen minutes later, we were all set up to spend a gruesomely boring day in my room.

Visser One walked into the kitchen as Ellie stirred her pot of some curiously green dish. I dipped my spoon morbidly into my bowl of soggy cornflakes. This REALLY wasn't my morning… I heard the water run as Visser One poured herself a glass, then used the liquid to gulp down a bright red pill of some sort. She then walked across the kitchen and into the living room, muttering. The only thing I caught out of the whole thing was "Ow, my pubic area!"

Don't think I want to know.

I watched Visser One, in her enormous bathrobe, slippers and stringy hair, flop down onto a couch. Then I turned to Ellie, who was screaming at her green slop.

" Like, JESUS!" she screeched. " Will you, like, THICKEN already?"

I sighed. What a stupid, stupid day. At least INISS wasn't here…

Just then, the doorbell rang.

" Is somebody going to get that?" I asked tentatively.

" Like, Visser, NOT NOW." I think you can guess who that was.

" Well, I'M not getting it!" I protested. " I'm COMFY!"

" Well, I'm TOTALLY not -" Ellie started.

- DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG!

" ELLIE, GET THE DAMN DOOR!" I exclaimed.

" Nooooooooo!" she wailed.

" YES!"

" NO!"

" Oh, for the Emperor's sake!" Visser One exclaimed, getting up off her couch and walking the short distance to the main entrance.

I heard her open the peephole – good move, I mean it was probably Iniss anyway. But then, to my moderate surprise, I heard the door slide open.

( Who is it? ) I snapped.

" It's Councilor Two and Visser Four," Visser One griped.

( Visser FOUR? ) I exclaimed, surprised.

But before I could expect a response from Visser One, she came grouchily back into the room, followed by an equally grumpy-looking Councilor Two and Visser Four.

Wow, this day just gets better and better.

" Like, WHAT THE HELL!!" Ellie exclaimed as the green mixture started bubbling and shooting burning chunks at her. She quickly slammed the cover down onto it, growling like a bear. A girly bear, of course.

Councilor Two took Visser One in his arms and sat down with her on his lap, stroking her hair.

" You look sick," he whispered softly to her. " Are you okay?"

" I'm fine!" Visser One shot grouchily.

" Ooooookay," Councilor Two laughed. " Sorry I asked."

I looked at Visser One. She didn't look sick, what was the great dapsen talking about? If anyone looked SICK in this room, it was Visser Four, sitting on the chair, looking aimlessly up at the ceiling with eyes weighed upon by heavy eyelids.

Visser Four hadn't been out of her room since the Andalite traitor, Samilin, a.k.a. Visser Four's secret lover, died on planet Leera. This was the first time I even saw her out of bed since we'd gotten back. She was pale and upsettingly thin. She also looked quite sad.

And very grumpy.

But that was nothing new around here today, as you may have noticed…

Suddenly, Visser Four turned around and looked at me. She gestured to me with her hand, unnoticed by the two LOVEBIRDS in the corner.

I nodded impatiently. Inaudibly, she mouthed something like, "I need to…"

" You need to WHAT with me?" I whispered from the kitchen table.

She rolled her eyes and held up her right hand in the shape of a phone.

" Oh, talk!" I whispered. I had definitely understood something else.

Visser Four nodded.

I shrugged and carefully mouthed, " About what?"

She shrugged to herself and blushed slightly. I began to have that feeling in my stomach. You know the one… that feeling where you know that if you poke your nose any further into something, it will turn around and bite you in the ass?

She blushed some more. And then she mouthed something else, very quickly.

Apparently I am not very good at lip-reading, because I understood "I'm crackhead", and knowing the egoist rampagist which is Visser Four, that is MOST DEFINITELY not what she said.

" What?" I whispered urgently.

" I'm a peg net!" Visser Four seemed to reply.

" Visser Four, what the hell are you trying to say?" I exclaimed.

She sighed deeply and mouthed it again.

" You're…?" I mouthed, confused.

" Oh, never mind." Visser Four suddenly said, out loud.

Councilor Two and Visser One looked at her, than me, strangely.

" Nothing, guys," Visser Four said. Then she slunk back into her chair.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Ellie was getting so angry that I figured it was best to move out of there…

" Like, UUGH!" she yelled, kicking the cabinet. " You STUPID, like…"

… So yeah, I decided to move into the living room with the others.

Visser One had moved off Councilor Two and was now sitting next to him in the middle of the couch. I sat on the free right-hand side.

" Gah." Visser One growled.

" Grr…" I added.

" Hmph." Visser Four said.

Councilor Two just laughed.

We were all grumpy. Even Councilor Two. He was just showing it less.

" What a stupid, stupid day," I commented.

" Tell me about it…" Visser Four.

But yet we didn't do anything but sit there, the whole day, until everyone left and I was able to concentrate on writing this lousy, grumpy entry…

I just hope ALL mornings-after aren't this bad.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.

---

**LOL. Okay, I had so much fun writing this. To me it felt like we're going "back to before" if you know what I mean. "Back to before" all the drama and angst of the past chapters:P **

Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Till next time!


	20. Problems

**A/N:** This chapter is very **short**, but it's very important as we see the point of view of different characters. Also, **please don't forget to review as I'm trying to beat my Visser Three's Diary record! **Thanks for reading, everyone. (: **Four chapters to go!**

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 20  
_Problems**

_Dearest Samilin,_

_I can no longer sleep at night knowing you are no longer with me. You see, if I sleep I fear I will be tempted to just fall asleep forever, to never wake up and run back into your arms again at last in sweet death… but I know you wouldn't want that._

_I know you will never get this letter. But it comforts me to think that somewhere up there, you're looking down at me and listening to what I have to say and write down. Because you, Samilin, you alone have ever loved me like that – so much that you have sacrificed your very life for me, just me, a lonely Yeerk Visser who is worth nothing compared to you._

_I feel like a foolish child, writing love letters to a person I know I can never see, never hear, never touch again. But you see, my love, writing these letters to you is the only thing that keeps me alive…_

_Last time I wrote you, I told of my problem, and it hasn't gotten any better. I just don't feel right anymore, and it isn't only because of grief, though grief no doubt has much to do with it. I know it pains you to hear that I am ill, but I am. I don't know what's happening to me. I can hardly even get up anymore, I feel so tired. When I feed my host, I can never seem to nourish her sufficiently. I cannot bring myself to telling Fen about this, so I've resorted to Visser Three. Yes, VISSER THREE. Am I crazy? That's exactly what I thought. But, well, besides Fen, Visser Three is the only one who knows about us. Visser One might have known – even though they're worst enemies, Visser Three doesn't keep much from Visser One, and vice versa. But I'm positive Visser Three hasn't told her. Because if Visser One knew I was in love with an Andalite, I'd be dead by now. No questions asked._

_Samilin, I don't know what to do. I can't talk to Fen. I definitely can't talk to Visser One. And Visser Three appears to have a disruptive hearing problem. Oh, god, I don't know what's going to happen to me. I wish you were here, I really wish you were here so I wouldn't be so alone… _

… _If not for those cursed bandits… if not for them you might still be alive today…_

_Anyway, no time to be sorrowful. I guess I should be going now… maybe I'll try and find Visser Three. Or maybe I'll just go back to bed._

_I love you and miss you every day._

_Yours always,_

_Esaren._

_---  
_

_Hey Diary, yeah, it's me Iniss. Obviously. HEEHEEHEEHEE! Oh, that's a good one!! I rock…_

_Here is a poem for Visser One I wrote at two o'clock in the morning:_

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_You are mine_

_And not Councilor Two's_

_As I smell your perfume_

_Of sweet morning dew_

_Or at least that's what I think it smells like_

_Since I don't really know what that means…_

… _Anyway_

_As I smell your perfume_

_And walk into your room_

_I set up a couple cameras_

_Isn't that romantic-as?_

_Edriss, it is no secret_

_That you secretly love me_

_Come on, everyone knows it_

_So get off of Visser Three-mee!_

_Oh wait… scratch that, Visser Three already rhymes with me! Lords, who would have thought? I'm a POET, a true POET! I rhymed that right off the bat!_

_So the last line would be…_

_So get off of Visser Three!_

_Woohoo, I rock! I rock my sock! Hehehehe! Ohh man, Visser Three is going to be so jealous of my poetic talent… he who has NONE AT ALL! _

_It's sure to impress the hell out of him._

_See you soon!_

_Iniss 226._

_---_

_Edriss,_

_Hi. So… yeah, I heard about the thing with Visser Three. Councilor Eight's been nice enough not to tell the whole Empire, but he did tell me. _

_I just want you to know that I'm not mad… on the contrary, I was kind of relieved when he told me. See, I knew SOMETHING was going to happen between you two sometime soon. You don't see it, but I do. He's stuck to you like a Yeerk to the Kandrona – and deny it all you want, but you feel the same odd affection for him. I knew that finding you in the desert would be confusing for him… And that he might let up to his affection for you even more. I looked for you too on those cold days and nights, but somehow, I knew he would be the one to find you. No one knows you better than he does. He knows your brand of SHAMPOO, for the Emperor's sake, subtitles included!_

_Essam will come around, don't worry. He's too caught up in his own emotions to worry about yours. But I worry about yours. I know you didn't mean this to happen, and that you must be terribly confused. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Just remember that._

_I love you way too much for my own good, and so does Essam._

_Yours,_

_Fen 347. _

_---_

_Dearest Essam,_

_I suppose we have nothing left to say to each other, my love. But after all that, I feel I must apologize from the bottom of my heart to you – for what I've done and what you've seen. _

_I also suppose I have a lot of explaining to do._

_Yes, this is about you and me. But it is also, inevitably, about Visser Three. The person whom I love to hate, and who I hate to feel anything for besides that hate. But sadly, I do – and even I, whom you once saw as flawless and beautiful, cannot control it. _

_I do not feel beautiful or graceful now, not in the least. I feel dirty and disgraced – like a fool. And I am a fool for allowing someone like my worst enemy get in the way of what we had together, I guess. But really, Essam, it isn't that simple. It's complicated, in a way that no one but he and I will ever understand. I love you more than anything, Essam… but in a strange way I love him, too. Not really – I mean, how can you love someone you hope to brutally murder someday? But he and I have such a passion, such an obsession with each other. We've been together for a long, long time, fighting each other to the death. After a while, you get attached to someone like that. But I guess I carried it too far… Essam, I hope you understand that I know you're feeling betrayed by me, and you have every right to be. But I also hope you understand that I had no intention of allowing my hateful closeness to Visser Three get this far. I'm sorry, Essam, I really am. And if you never want to see me again, if that's what you really want, then I will accept it and try to move on. _

_When I was in the clutches of the Andalites, I tried so hard not to cry. But it was impossible, for they tortured me. Not physically… no, I've been trained to tough physical pain. They simply threatened me. "If you don't tell us, we will kill your mates. We know where they are." It was a lose-lose situation for me, because I didn't doubt that they did in fact know where you and Fen were, they are Andalites after all, but I couldn't tell them our military secrets. I was confused and scared. They had definitely done their research, probably without the knowledge of their Electorate, and when they correctly told me your names and ranks, and that they knew you were in the Empire Building, I panicked. What was I to do?_

_And then, they threatened Esplin. At first, I wondered why. I mean, why should I care if they blast Esplin to withering molecules and throw him into the darkness of space? But oh, was I wrong… for as they threatened him, do you know what I was thinking, deep down inside? "You can't kill Esplin, for _I _want to kill him! You can't hurt him, for _I have to do it! _You can't hate him as much as I do, he's MY enemy, not yours, mine! Mine! MINE!" And then, rose not fear… not fear, but _jealousy_. Horrible, perverted jealousy. And lords help me, Essam, I cried. Cried for fear of losing you, and also for fear of not winning, personally, my lifelong rivalry._

_I guess that's when it really hit me – in a most hateful way, I feel very strongly for Visser Three. I can't help but to think of him, and to think of what I will do next to get back at him… planning my next move… I can't imagine living without him, without arguing with him every day, without seeing his hateful Andalite face, the fire in his eyes when he looks at me, and knowing, knowing that no one, no opposition, no rival will ever equal me in his eyes. I am his match. The one he has to defeat above all else. As he is, and always has been, to me._

_I have no idea how our passion for each other took such a turn. But at least I know one thing: That I love you, Essam, always have and always will. I wish you luck if you decide to leave me forever. My heart is with you, forever, and I hope you realize that I know I made a horrible mistake. And I can't blame you if you can never look upon my face and smile with bright, shining love again. But I will always love you, just know that._

_I'm sorry._

_Sincerely,_

_Your Edriss._

---

Dear Journal,

Once I had scanned, printed and stuck this letter inside you, I quickly ran to put the original copy back into Visser One's inert, sleeping hand. As I had done with all the others. Except for Iniss's, I just kind of… ripped… that one out.

Come on, people – that last letter, especially, was worth the hassle – it could be excellent evidence against Visser One in trial someday. And despite recent developments, our rivalry still comes first. Obviously.

And of course, Iniss's "entry" (if it even deserves to be CALLED that) could someday help prove that he is certifiably insane and should be institutionalized…

I smiled interiorly at the thought of all the letters I'd found today, letters written by people I knew who had broken hearts and problems of their own.

( Sometimes it's nice to know I'm not the only one with problems… ) I whispered to no one as I walked silently out of the room.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.


	21. And How Do You Feel About That?

**A/N:** Yes, I know I didn't update in forever. :P Read the damn fic.

**Visser Three's Journal**

**_Chapter 21  
_And How Do You Feel About That?**

**Visser One**

Well then.

The chemical plant down the hall needs some refurbishing… I was walking past it and I swear I saw Mr. Loud-And-Nasal making out with a broom.

And you ask, what else is new?

Well, there _is _the fact that three friends of mine have recently died… The result? I am now the proud watchover¹ of five hundred and thirteen. Ohhhh lordies…

_Alright, Visser One, _I told myself as I often do,_ enough with morbid thoughts of grub murder and back to the matter at hand._

Yes, the matter at hand. The matter at hand which just so happened to be…

" Ahh, Visser One, there you are!"

… A visit to the psychologist.

Yes, you heard me right.

Allow me to back up and explain.

Following "The Break-Up" between Councilor Eight and myself, Councilor Two got it into his mind that I was depressed. I mean, alright so I might _look _depressed, but I look like that ALL THE TIME!

Wouldn't YOU with a flakie addiction, a worst enemy like Visser Three, seeing MR. LOUD-AND-NASAL making out with a BROOM, nine thousand things to do, and five-hundred and thirteen watchover grubs? I mean hello, that's enough to make any sane Yeerk go teetering over the edge!

But in any case, Councilor Two paid me a visit to the building psychologist… He said it would help me get my thoughts in order or something. He actually ordered me to do it ("It's for your own good, Edriss.") so I couldn't refuse…

Isn't he a wonderful mate?

Anyway, back to the disaster which is my life: I had just walked into the psychologist's office. Or, as Visser Three calls it, the "shpink".

The only furniture in the room was the psychologist's desk, two chairs, and a random table in the corner. And the psychologist, if he can count as furniture… I stepped up to the table, handed him the "psycho pass", and fell dramatically into the chair facing the desk.

The psychologist looked at me sternly. What was his issue? Maybe _he _was depressed.

" I sense that you do not want to be here, Edriss." Naaaaw, you really think so? " But at the same time, I sense that you are feeling some kind of stress."

I looked away stubbornly. He paused.

" It is important for a Visser to uphold stable mental and emotional health," the shrink said softly. " What's wrong, Edriss? Is there some sort of trouble in your life?"

" Wouldn't you like to know," I said darkly, picturing the homepage of the news site tomorrow morning – and my dark secrets written all over it.

" Yes, I would," the shrink said, leaning over. " And let me remind you that everything you say in this room remains confidential between you and I. Don't worry – if I give out the information you give me, I lose my job."

I frowned. This guy was practically a Leeran (though it _had _been obvious that I feared this session going mainstream), and it irritated me! Besides… I didn't believe him. Who would?

" Confidential my ass," I said, crossing my arms. " Yeah, I'll bet it's confidential. Yeah right. Every single time I tell someone something personal, _everyone _always ends up knowing. Can you picture how humiliating it is to have "Visser One's period is late!" or "Oh my God, Edriss farted today. Is it possible? This is a catastrophe!" floating around in the news? I mean, WHO FRICKING CARES? Even Visser Three doesn't get that much media attention and I HATE that because I HATE him and I want him to feel humiliated as well! Or better, in my place!"

The psychologist just looked at me. He took a few notes. " Uh-huh…" he said, looking genuinely interested. If it is possible for a human-hosted Yeerk who looks like he may have been raised by a tribe of elephants to look genuinely interested. Honestly, his ears must have been at least seven centimeters long. And that NOSE!

" And how do you feel about that, Edriss?" the psychologist asked. Good lords, what was this, _Dr. Phil_?

" What, about my secrets – and farts – going public?" He nodded, and I continued defiantly. " I'll tell you how I feel about that: I feel like a Yeerk version of freaking Paris Hilton, apparently being so unimportant in the Empire that the media needs to resort to broadcasting absolutely USELESS information about me to the world! Who CARES what I eat for breakfast? Who CARES what my brand of shampoo is? Who CARES if Visser Three and I hate each other, it's our life!"

" I understand perfectly, Visser One."

" Bull. It's not like anyone broadcasts _your _period date across the galaxy." I thought about that and added quickly, " Not… that you would have… periods. I hope."

The psychologist frowned. He took down some more notes.

" Why are you taking notes on me?" I asked.

" It's proper procedure," the shrink replied. " My notes will later help me diagnose you, if necessary."

I just stared. Seriously, it wasn't that bad, was it? Was Councilor Two nuts?

Or was _I_?

_You are not crazy. You are not crazy. _That's right Edriss, just keep telling yourself that… _Councilor Two was just worried about you, that's all._

" Ahem." I said, chasing some more morbid thoughts out of my mind. " Can we continue?"

" Of course," the shrink smiled. " Tell me, Edriss, you often mention Visser Three in your… your venting. How are terms between you?"

" Duh, they're horrible," I said. " Couldn't you tell in my rambling on about how much I hate him?"

" Hmm, I see," the shrink said, taking down a brand new portion of notes. " And how do you feel about that?"

" I feel that if you don't stop asking me how I feel, I will _feel _the need to harm you!" I shot, my temper starting to rise.

The unnamed psychologist simply looked at me. " Very violent indeed…"

" Look, I am not some GERBIL, okay?" I exclaimed, standing up.

" No, you are a human-hosted Yeerk visser who seems to have some moderate issues."

" EXCUSE ME? Some WHAT? Why not try running that by me again, you lame excuse for --"

But before I could finish my… insulting… sentence, I heard the door close behind me, followed by a very familiar, very annoying voice.

( Hi. Is this Doctor Ermez Four-Two-Six's office? )

Could this day get any worse? " Excuse me? Visser THREE? What in the SEEROW are YOU doing _HERE_?"

He raised an Andalite eyebrow at me, unimpressed. ( Okay, first of all, you have GOT to stop doing that. )

" Doing what?"

( That _thing _were you CAPITALIZE every second word. )

" Um… it's called EMPHASIZING, not CAPITALIZING, you idiot. This isn't a novel!"

( But if it were written, it would be CAPITALIZED! So HA! )

" But it's not, so it isn't CAPITALIZING, you dumb toad! And I can do whatever the hell I want!"

" If I may ask a question…" the shrink squeaked, holding up his notepad as if it was a shield.

Visser Three and I glared at him. He decided to take the opportunity.

" Why do you keep CAPITALIZING the word CAPITALIZE?" he asked.

We just kept on glaring.

( Oh, _shut up_. ) Visser Three said. ( You aren't any better. )

Dr. Ermez decided to just close his compassionate mouth after that. After all, it wouldn't be good for Visser Three's feelings if he simply blasted him out.

Speaking of Visser Three… " Why are you here, anyway?"

( Councilor Two sent me, ) Visser Three said. ( He said I needed help. )

" He isn't wrong," I replied calmly. " But the kind of help you need can't be found here – it can be found in a psychward."

Visser Three shot me a leery glare. He decided to ignore my comment and instead concentrate on more important details. ( Wait a second, why are _you _here? ) His face suddenly adopted an expression of mock-shock. ( Please don't tell me that the great, mighty Visser One has finally, you know, lost her handles? )

" It's marbles."

( Gone to the frogs? ) Visser Three mused, completely ignoring me.

" It's dogs."

( Don't tell me _Visser One _is not humming with a full sack! )

" It's _playing _with a full _deck_, Visser Three."

( Lights are gone but anybody's a cone! )

" Visser Three…"

( Visser One is CLOONEY, Visser One is CLOONEY! ) he started singing infernally.

At this point I decided it might all be for the better if I just shut my face. I shook my head, holding an exasperated hand to my forehead.

That was when Dr. Ermez decided to intervene.

" Vissers, please," he said softly, professionally, " you will only cloud your feelings if you continue childishly arguing like this…"

I rolled my eyes. " You think so?"

( … Visser One is CLOONEY, Visser One is CLOONEY! VISSER ONE IS CLOONEY! )

" Visser Three, shut UP!" I shrieked. " You're going to either wake up the whole Empire or send them all after you with pitchforks, so SHUT. YOUR. TRAP! Or whatever you call those thought-speak emitters!"

( Uhhh, my MIND? ) Visser Three exclaimed as if I was the stupidest thing to ever exist. ( Wow, Visser One, you really are clooney. )

" It's _looney_, you morphing moron!" I exclaimed. " You idiot! Stop quoting human expressions, and STOP referring me to a popular male human actor!"

" Like, am I interrupting anything?"

We both shut up. Nobody moved. Nobody even _breathed_… and hopefully Visser Three would be too stupid to start again.

Slowly, both Visser Three's and my head spun to face the office entrance.

" Um, ELLIE?" I exclaimed, dumbfounded.

" Like, yeeeaahh…" Ellie said, looking at me strangely.

( Ellie, what are YOU doing here? ) Visser Three

" Who, me?" Ellie asked.

( No, the _other _Ellie, ) Visser Three spat sarcastically.

Ellie just kind of giggled. Geez, how airheaded could you GET? And I thought Visser Three was bad…

" Yes, you, Ellie," I finally said.

" Like, I got like sent here by like, Councilor Two," Ellie giggled. " Like, he thought I had a problem. I was totally offended."

I frowned. " Councilor Two sent _you _here too?"

I was starting to sense something not quite right was about to take place. Why would Councilor Two send all three of us here, at the same time? I suppose Visser Three was understandable (he is completely cracker, that one), and so was I to some extent – he was worried about me. But Ellie? Yes, something was definitely, _definitely _not right…

" Would any of you like to talk about your --" the psychologist started.

( Look, guy, Ezebreath or whatever your name may be, ) Visser Three said seriously, sternly. ( I am a full Visser. Visser One is a full Visser, though in reality she is nothing but a piece of dirt. )

- SMACK!

( _OUCH_, Visser One! … Anyhow, as I was saying, we are both full Vissers. And Ellie here is an intern under our command. You, you are nothing but a shpink. So I suggest you close your mouthparts. )

Dr. Ermez did as he was told, as he was not suicidal, but I could see him struggling to keep a straight face. The poor man… trying so hard not to laugh…

( A low-ranking _shpink _like you needs not interfere into the business of high-ranking Vissers! ) Visser Three said, his temper rising.

Ermez started to snort. I saw his face go red as he struggled to keep his cool.

( You better have learned your lesson, you lowly shpink, for you will not live to hear me say it another -- )

" Snorrt… snoooooooooortt…" Ermez covered his mouth with both hands. But it was too late. He got up and ran out of the room. " HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HEHE! HA HA HA HA! Sh… SHPINK, HA HA HAAAA!!"

His echoes were still _very _audible as he ran like there was no tomorrow out the office door, down the hallway, and even as he rounded the corner. That poor psychologist. Now that he'd laughed hysterically at Visser Three, chances were he'd never, ever be seen again.

And apparently, he knew it.

But before we could even THINK about anything else, a new voice was heard in the doorframe…

" What is that infernal racket?" it snarled. " Back in my day there was none of this _laughing_ nonsense. If we laughed like that young whippersnapper, we got our faces shoved into the rainsoaked remnants of Gedd excrements, and you can be sure we never attempted to laugh again, oh no! Laughing is a bloody waste of precious oxygen anyway! Why, back in my day there --"

( YOU! ) Visser Three shouted murderously. ( Why, why, why, WHY are you here? YOU of all people! )

The Taxxon walked into the room and looked menacingly up at Visser Three. " Well who WOULDN'T come into this _god forsaken room _after hearing that infernal noise? I thought someone was croaking, or worse! Back in my day we left no man behind, oh no!"

" So, you weren't sent here by Councilor Two?" I asked.

The Taxxon looked astonished.

" Good heavens, no!" he yelped. " I'm a _Taxxon_! A Taxxon-Controller would never be seen with Councilor Two."

I sighed.

( Well, I suppose Councilor Two must have had a valid reason to send us all here, ) Visser Three said dully. ( As long as he didn't send the Taxxon, there is a valid reason. )

I rolled my eyes. " Visser Three, shut up. Taxxon, whatever your name is, come in and close the door. Visser Three… shut up."

Unfortunately, Visser Three did not shut up. ( Does anyone else hear footsteps outside? )

" Yes, there seems to be someone approaching…" I said, a little paranoid.

" Like, we're ALL GONNA DIE!" Ellie shrieked, beyond paranoia.

_Clop… clop… clop…_

( Lock the door! Lock the door! ) Visser Three shouted.

" It's a psychologist's office, you idiot!" I exclaimed. " The door doesn't lock!"

" Like, listen!" Ellie whispered urgently.

We did, and we heard a voice, getting more and more audible as it neared…

" Where, currently, is the brain stem?" it asked.

We all just kind of looked at each other.

" NO!" the voice exclaimed. " Do NOT put the brain stem in the jar. If I get back and that brain stem is in the jar, it won't be a pretty scene."

Visser Three started to whimper.

" Oh, you gigantic simp," I rolled my eyes exasperatedly. " I'll go see what it is…"

( Hope you get killed! ) Visser Three said brightly.

I sighed, opened the door, and stepped out into the hallway, where I saw…

" Eivan?!"

The male human-Controller with tousled brown hair looked back at me from his location further along in the hallway and waved slightly. " Uh-huh," he said into his phone. " No, no, the _kalhar _needs to be cooled at thirty-five _faiira_. No… Uh-huh… Yes, speak to you – NO! I told you, take the brain stem as FAR AWAY from the jar as possible! Yes. Bye."

I just kind of stood there.

" Hi, Edriss!" Eivan said, immediately smiling. " How have you been?"

" Good," I replied. " But I'm glad that isn't _my _brain stem you were speaking of."

Eivan rolled his eyes. " That's just my stupid assistant, being my stupid assistant. Whether he actually HAS a medicine and science degree, I cannot be sure. But he IS my personal assistant, so I figured I should drag him around…"

I smiled. Eivan is Visser Fourteen. He's a Visser, mostly because as a child, his guardians forced everyone with a male host body into the military. But unlike most males, Eivan's real passions are science and medicine. When he doesn't have a mission at war (which he rarely does – he gets out of most of them by sending someone else), he's in the underground Earth pool's hospital wing, doing research and treating fellow Yeerks. The medics at that wing all worship Eivan: They have a HUGE picture of him hanging on the wall entering the wing… He's pretty modest about it though. Even though he is Super-Medic.

" So, what are you doing here, anyway?" I asked. " Aren't you supposed to be on Earth?"

" Medicine," Eivan shrugged. " We ran out of _feral mahedate_ and the Yeerk who needs it is going berserk. I need to find some as quickly as possible."

I sighed. " So… you _weren't _sent here by Councilor Two. Right?"

" God no," Eivan laughed. " Unless Councilor Two was recently assigned to brain stem surgery."

" I don't think so," I confirmed. " So… that's good, I think."

" For you or for me?"

" By the looks of things, most probably for you."

The door of the psychologist's office swung open, and out swaggered Visser Three. He took a look at Eivan and crossed his arms.

( Why hello, Visser, what a surprise, ) he sneered. ( Where's the stethoscope? Ellie needs surgery to remove the part of her brain stem that makes her say "like" nonstop, Visser One needs assisted suicide – I can sign any forms you need. Also, the shpink will need a high dosage of steroids if he actually expects to outrun me forever, and I need some pills for the pain of it all. )

Eivan looked at me questioningly. I rolled my eyes.

" Are you through?" I asked the great blue dapsen.

Visser Three shrugged. ( Yep, that should be it… oh, wait, I almost forgot! ) He turned to Eivan. ( Can you schedule funeral arrangements for my personal assistant? Or do I have to see Visser Four about that? While we're on the subject, Visser Four needs -- )

" Oh Visser Three, shut the frig up already!" I snapped. " Eivan, you must be short of time, so don't let us hold you back."

Eivan shot a look at his watch. " You're probably right," he sighed. " Off to work, I suppose. It was nice seeing you, Edriss!"

" Same here," I smiled and he walked away.

( What else is new? ) Visser Three spat once he was out of sight. ( Anyone hiding around the corners with Dracon beams? )

I shot him a death look. " That'll be _me _in a second if you don't SHUT UP."

( I'm leaving, ) Visser Three said. ( If Councilor Two really wanted to see us, he would have shown up by now. No one keeps ME waiting! )

" Fine, bail," I said. " But if Councilor Two shows up with candy or something, I'm taking your share!"

Visser Three raised an eyebrow. ( I was right. Food really IS all you think about. )

I kicked him in the shin. " Get out of my face, you annoying dapsen."

He glared at me and walked away.

---

Later that night, I called Councilor Two.

- … Riiiiiiiing… riiiiiiiing…

" _Hey, this is Councilor Two… I am either busy or simply cannot answer your pending call at the moment, so please leave a message after the tone. … Drrrt." _

I took a breath. " Hi Fen. It's Edriss. I went to the psychologist's today, like you'd asked me to… but then I found out you'd sent Visser Three and Ellie, too. Look, I know you were trying to do something. There would be no reason to just send us all there at the same time."

Bzzzzzzzzzt! Bzzzzzzzzzt!

Oh, great, the doorbell was ringing. I rolled my eyes and got up to head toward the entrance.

" Well, someone's at the door, so I must go… but please call me back when you get in, okay? Bye."

I pressed "off" and pressed "open" on the door pad. The door slid open.

" Hi, Edriss."

I had to look again to make sure I wasn't mistaken. " Fen!" I said. " I just called you! … What are you doing here?"

He looked at me sheepishly. " Well… I guess I have some explaining to do."

I nodded and led him into the room, closing the door behind us. We sat on the couch and I listened as he told me the psychologist visit was all an elaborate plan to get Councilor Eight and me to talk things out – and hopefully resolve our problem.

" So… all this was just to try and get Essam and me back together?" I asked. Councilor Two nodded. " But then… why was Visser Three there?"

Councilor Two sighed. " Visser Three served two purposes. Number one, a distraction to you – no one can distract you like he can, whether you like it or not." He laughed. " Purpose number two was because Visser Three is just as involved in the problem as you and Essam are."

He took a breath. " Ellie was a distraction – as well as fuel for Visser Three's worry. The both of you might have coincidentally met up in Dr. Ermez's office… but Ellie? You see what I mean."

_But Ellie? _I smiled. That was exactly what I had thought at the time.

I looked at Councilor Two. Just looked at him for a long time. " Thank you." I said. " I mean, it's so good of you to try and do this for me. But Fen… Essam never showed up. That's why we came back."

Councilor Two sighed. " Yes, I know. That's also why I'm here. Edriss… I found Essam in his room a couple hours ago. He was nearly dead from oatmeal overdose. He was clutching a letter… I think it was written by you. I didn't read it, but it had your handwriting."

I brought my hand to my mouth in horror. I realized that despite my bitterness toward Essam for leaving me, I still felt very deeply for him… the tears trickling down my cheeks were there to prove it.

" Is…" I choked, shocked. " Is he alright?"

" I hope so," Councilor Two replied. " I sent him down to Earth. Figured if anyone could help him now, it'd be Eivan."

My eyes widened. " Is it that bad?"

The Councilor smiled sadly. " Hopefully this is just me being overprotective of my brother."

We sat in silence for a few moments, a silence I soon broke.

" I saw Eivan today…" I said. " He was getting medication. He should be back on Earth soon though, I hope."

Councilor Two sighed. " I hope so too."

He reached out and took me into his arms. " He'll be fine, Edriss. We just need to keep hoping."

" You sound like an Andalite," I laughed through my tears.

" Don't I always?" Councilor Two laughed.

Then, to get my mind off Essam, Councilor Two told me an old joke he liked. It made me laugh, and I felt better already.

Or at least I tried to make it _look _like I did…

---

_1. Watchover_, meaning the Yeerkish variant of "godmother".

---

**Well Kharina, I hope you liked that ending… and I hope everyone liked this chapter! Yes, I finally updated. :P But at least I DID update! Woohoo! Three chapters to go… ;) **


	22. The Tournament

A/N: The plot of this chapter belongs to **Ember Nickel**, winner of my newest contest. Congrats Ember:)

**Visser Three's Journal**  
by Sinister Shadow

**_Chapter 22_  
The Tournament**

Dear Journal,

Visser One got a haircut. Yes, again. Except she didn't reduce the length this time, it's already too short. Her stylist simply shortened the front part of her hair (which I believe humans call "bangs", but don't quote me on that) and added layers, and as a result Visser One's jaden hair now drapes fittingly around her face and rests on her shoulders, with parts hanging down. The first time I saw her new look, she was charging angrily toward me because I had "screwed something up, yet again!". Sigh, what a bitch… but she was wearing a white blouse and beige skirt, and with her hair the way it was and her eyelids faintly beige to match, I thought she looked like a beautiful porcelain doll.

These qualities are, shame to admit, purely physical. Even though Visser One always "enhances" her hosts with her own natural beauty, if Visser One's personality alone was incarnated into a body, it would be just about the opposite of a porcelain doll. Actually, it would probably look like what comes out of Alloran's hindquarters after a tasty meal of hearty grass…

Yeah. That was inappropriate.

Anyway, today was the oddest day ever. Why, you ask? Well, I was just in the middle of walking pointlessly around in circles – while looking my best of course – like I always do when I lack hobbies, when suddenly I was VICIOUSLY interrupted by something touching my flank.

( Eum… HELLO? ) I exclaimed, turning around.

Before I could react, a huge yellow face frowned and sneered in my own.

" Back in my day we didn't walk around like worthless nerds doing nothing productive!" the Taxxon said. " Why, if I remember well, if any foolish whippersnapper was caught ne'erdowelling like you my fine sir, they were brought to the chop right then and there!"

( Buddy, seriously, are you AKDOR in disguise? ) I said, drawing back from the hideous sight.

" Good heavens, no!" the Taxxon squeed. " But then again, if I was, I wouldn't be telling you! Why, back in my day not a soul could be trusted with fine secrets like that would be, oh no!"

I looked at him, not daring to blink.

( Are you quite through? ) I asked. ( Did you bother me just to have someone to yell at, or did you _really _have something to say? )

" Oh no, sonny…" the Taxxon said. " I just saw you spinning around like a _flumplun _and I thought I should intervene."

_Don't lash out, Visser Three… _I thought to myself. _The scum is not worth it… what does HE know about healthy posturing anyhow?_

( LEAVE ME! YOU HAVE ANGERED ME, YOU DESPICABLE, WORTHLESS BEING! ) I shouted at the Taxxon.

Not being a _complete _idiot, the Taxxon decided it would be best to leave me. Maybe he figured he would live another four hundred years. Who knows.

I walked away as well, heading toward Iniss's room. The reason? No, it wasn't because I'm suicidal, it was because he hadn't shown up that morning to do my dishes and my laundry and I wanted to know WHY. For the Emperor's sake, I had to make ELLIE do it, when she could have been off laughing girlily in her OWN room, away from PUBLIC AREAS.

We had a pretty interesting conversation though…

" Visser Three, does this shirt like _scream _'innocent'?" Ellie had asked as she wiped off a plate.

I didn't know what to say. I mean… the shirt was purple, frilly and had a flower pattern undertone.

( Um… yes. )

Long pause as Ellie stared at me.

( Was that the right answer? )

" … No."

Besides that though, nothing much had happened the whole morning besides Ellie shrieking hysterically from a papercut ( "SHUT THE HELL UP!" Visser One yelled from next door), and me wondering where in the seven hells Iniss had gone now. So after the incident with that DREADFULLY ANNOYING Taxxon, I decided to head to his room and see what was what.

To my surprise, when I opened the door (angrily and melodramatically of course), there he was – sitting on his bed doing nothing.

( YOU IDIOT! ) I shrieked.

Terror struck his face. " W-w-w-what do y-you m-m-m-mean, V-V-Visser Three?"

( I MEAN that you forgot to come to my room and do what you were hired to do! )

Iniss looked puzzled. " B-be a personal assistant?"

( THE DISHES! ) I screamed, angry as can be. ( THE LAUNDRY! THESE ARE _YOUR CHORES_! )

" P-p-p-pardon me, V-Visser, but I h-h-have a g-g-g-good reason!" Iniss squeaked.

( And that would be… ) I rolled my eyes.

" THIS!" Iniss said, showing me the New Yeerk Times. Today's edition. Even from here I could see a special editorial from the Council of Thirteen – splat on the front page. Had to be important.

( Give me that, ) I spat. ( But don't think I'm letting you off! )

Iniss quickly obeyed. Handed me the paper. I quickly read it.

---

_A special editorial from the Council of Thirteen…  
**Tactics competition – human style!**_

_EMPIRE BUILDING, YH – In an effort to learn better tactics to use within our Empire, whilst learning more about humans, our top-priority species at the moment, we, the Council of Thirteen, have issued that a tournament be held. This is a completely non-profit event, and the goal is to learn, not to win._

_The competition, idea brought to us by our very own Visser One, is to be based on a human activity called chess. It is a game they play which requires intellectual prowess and good use of tactics. We shall be hosting this tournament tonight at seven in training room C, here's hoping all come in great numbers!_

---

( Ooookayyy… ) I said aloud. ( How did I know even before they said it that it was all Visser One's idea? Do you think the title may have given it away? )

Iniss shrugged. " Well, I --"

( SHUT UP, YOU! ) I yelled. ( You are to do the dishes, the laundry, plus ALL my progress reports for ONE MONTH. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? )

" Y-Y-Yes, Visser!" Iniss squeed, looking absolutely miserable.

( GO! GO GET STARTED NOW! )

Iniss ran out of the room.

And as for me, now curious… I headed for training room C.

---

Training room C, located on the second floor of the building (aka floors and floors and floors below us), was a nice, enclosed gym with great ventilation and mats all over the floor, topped with a wide range of training equipment.

I say _was _because the event's organizers had reduced the gym to an arena, with actual floors and tables everywhere. There was even a punch bowl, for the love of the lords.

The first person I saw was Councilor Four (well, actually, Councilor Three, but he doesn't count).

" Hel-lo, Visser Three," he said, seeming to be in a great mood. Even more than usual. " So I'm guessing you heard about our event, huh?"

( Yeah. I read it out of Iniss's paper and decided to come take a look, ) I said.

" Oh alright," Councilor Four smiled.

I raised an eyebrow. ( Why are you smiling like that? … Oh, you're going to ask me to DO something, aren't you? )

" Um… yeah," Councilor Four blushed. " I was going to ask you to set up that vending machine, over there. We need food for the competitors, after all."

I looked at the vending machine. It seemed so… complicated. And decrepit, but that's besides the point.

Noticing my expression, Councilor Four sighed. " Visser Three, all you have to do is plug it in. Hook up some plugs. I have to go get some stuff. The shipment of chess boards from Earth is coming in. I have to go sign it off right now. You'll do good."

I nodded. Yeah. Uh-huh, sure.

I headed morosely over to the pile of crap which was the vending machine, and held up the two plugs. There was one outlet and an extension cord. I plugged the extension cord into the outlet and the two plugs into the cord.

That sure was difficult.

But of course, being ignorant in all things human, after I'd plugged the machine, I realized it still wasn't ON. Unfortunately, I had no idea where to go from there. Should I be looking for a switch or a huge, flashy red button? Considering there was no huge, flashy red button in sight, I supposed it would be the former… All the more difficult for me. I began tossing and turning the machine in order to find the switch, but no luck. What was it, STUPID? There had to be some way to turn this damn thing on! Wasn't that the whole point?!

_Yeah, suuuure, Councilor Four! _I growled. _'Just plug it in', YEAH RIGHT!_

I was just in the process of becoming VERY frustrated when suddenly this MAN showed up and waved to get my attention.

I turned around furiously, my face dark blue with anger.

( WHAT, ) I exclaimed, ( could you POSSIBLY want right now! )

" Well, if you don't want my help, that's fine, but…" he smacked my vending machine with his hand and it suddenly roared to life!

( What did you do? ) I demanded.

" Um… I pressed the ON button," the guy said.

( WHAT ON BUTTON? ) I shrieked. ( There is no button on this thing! I looked everywhere. )

" With all due respect, apparently not." He pointed to a square thing right in the front of the machine. It said ON.

( That's not a button, you fool, ) I said. ( It's a square. )

The guy grinned.

( WHAT? ) I yelled.

He didn't answer, but his face became more serious.

( What is your name, low-rank? ) I asked.

" Efflit 1318," he answered matter-of-factly.

( Efflit… aren't you that guy who was with Visser One that time? )

" With Visser One?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. " What are you TALKING about? I respect Visser One, but not in --"

( At the family reunion with her sister Anati, right? ) I continued, not paying attention.

" Oh. Oh, yes, that."

( Riiiight, I knew I knew you. )

Efflit frowned.

" Alright, Visser, I'll be on my --"

( Efflit, guard this machine, ) I said. ( Wouldn't want all the poor low-ranks and Visser One to be pigging out on all the food. )

He tried to protest, but I left before he could utter a word.

It was six-forty now. People were actually showing up. Visser One arrived with T.E. the vegetarian Taxxon and a HUGE bodyguard. Visser Two had sunglasses on as usual. Councilor Three was selling pencils to low-ranks at a nearby concession stand. Efflit was sitting morbidly by the vending machine. The back-in-my-day Taxxon came in, snarling as usual. Low-ranks and Sub-Vissers came in by the dozens. Engineers, oatmeal addicts, medics, scientists… even Eivan 679 was here.

Then, the tournament began. The Emperor (today a human female with long blond hair) gave a small speech, reminding us to watch our manners and not drop cherry bombs in the washroom sinks, and most importantly to have fun. Then Visser One was called on to explain the rules of chess. Iniss plotted to challenge Visser One to a chess match, Ellie wanted to face off against tons of 'cute males', Councilor Two was flashing smiles like they were on sale, and I just wanted to get the hell out of here, but nevertheless the games began. People grabbed opponents and played.

Allow me to explain the tournament layout a little. You played against one person. If you won, you moved up, and if you lost, you played for fun with the other losers. Winners played winners and moved up and up until the semifinals and finally the finals. The winner would receive a 'surprise prize', but Councilor Four, who knew what it was, was practically jumping out of his pants in excitement, so it had to be good.

I played against a random low-rank who seemed to have a brain defect. I won, of course. Then, I played against a rather attractive female. I won again. Then, a REALLY attractive female. Won again.

I saw Visser One playing against Councilor Two as I played against T.E., who had challenged me. I was thinking about my move – should I bring this pawn to d5 or the bishop all the way to the top right corner? – when suddenly Visser One stood up and screamed:

" WHOOOOHOOO!! CHECK _MATE_! THAT'S RIGHT, BUDDY, YOU _LOSE_!"

She then proceeded to pointing jokingly into the poor loser's face. I was annoyed. Her freaking elephantlike outburst had made me spill the bowl of liquor I was dipping my hoof into!

( Visser One, SHUT THE HELL UP, I'm trying to THINK here! )

I won against T.E., and proceeded to challenge Visser One.

" Sure, I'll play you, dapsen," Visser One said. " You've been lucky to get _this _far, with your absolute lack of tactics… hah hah! Brute force won't get you _anywhere _with me. But hey, a win is a win… Even though it'll be _so_ easy."

( We'll see about that… ) I said. Who knew that our rivalry could surface in something as trivial as chess?

We sat down and began to play, but it wasn't long before we were interrupted by a dorky-looking guy with a microphone. The microphone held the inscription "NYT", but for some reason someone had spray-painted an "h" at the end.

" Helloth," the guy said. " I art a reporterth from thy New Yorketh Times."

( Why are you talking like Iniss? ) I interjected.

" INISS TWO-TWO-SIXETH?" he asked. " That manth is my heroeth! He introduced Shakespeareth to me! My lifeth is no longerth thy sameth, now that thy beautiful Shakespeareth haft entered ith!"

( Ohhh, brother… ) I sighed.

Visser One rolled her eyes.

" What do thee thinketh of this eventh?" the reporter asked.

Visser One frowned. " I _thinketh _that if you do not leave me at once, I _shalt _have you executed."

The guy got the picture. He turned around and left, perfectly happy to bug someone else.

( Okay, ) I said. ( Where were we? )

I took my rook and SMOKED her bishop.

" Hey, what the hell!" Visser One exclaimed.

( Hehe. What were you saying about my lack of tactics, Visser One? )

But despite my cockiness and that AWESOME move… Visser One ended up winning the match.

She lost to Eivan 679, though, but wasn't too upset because it was Eivan 679.

The tournament lasted another couple hours, because the semifinals took forever. It wasn't cool. All the losers were PISS DRUNK, wobbling around in a corner and throwing queens and kings and chessboards at each other. One guy was so drunk he was on his back, passed out, going "HOLILOLIHOLILOLIHOLILOLI…" so freaking loud that the semifinals competitors had a really hard time concentrating. We were getting so bored that Visser One eventually just ran over and smacked him one across the head.

Finally, at eleven o'clock, the finals began. It was – get this – Eivan 679 against the freaking back-in-my-day Taxxon. The match went on until at least eleven thirty, when Eivan smoked the Taxxon's queen and got him into a corner, declaring checkmate.

He got up and grinned for the cameras, and the Taxxon walked away, snarling. Since Eivan's prize would be on the front page of the paper tomorrow, I just left. Just left. I was way too frigging tired to stay in that place for one more second.

" Like, that was FUN!" Ellie said, catching up to me. " This guy totally gave me his NUMBER! And another one said he like LOVES me! Although he was pretty, like, drunk, so --"

( Ellie? ) I said as we turned the corner.

" Like, yeah?"

( Shut up? )

" Like, FINE, Visser…" Ellie said, closing the door to my room behind her.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.


	23. Grace and Devastation

**A/N: **BEFORE-LAST CHAPTER!!! Oh my God:D

_**Dedicated to Pharrell's Girl.**_

**Visser Three's Journal**

_**Chapter 23  
**_**Grace and Devastation**

July 26th

Dear Journal,

I was dreaming of a large room, a waiting room of some sort. The walls were black all over. I remember looking around and seeing Ellie, my intern, as if all of a sudden. She was sitting on a bench, a white bench, contrasting deeply with the darkness of the walls. She pushed away her red hair from her forehead, then saw me and smiled.

" Like, hello Visser!" she said in a typical, yet somehow faraway voice.

( Hi Ellie, ) Dream-Me replied.

Suddenly, Iniss appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing a colorful thinking cap and quite abruptly had buck teeth. He was crying. Bawling.

( What's wrong, Iniss? ) I asked.

" I can't find any water!" he sobbed.

( Water? ) I asked increduously.

" Yeah, I need water to fill up my bottle!" he exclaimed. Only then did I notice a transparent red, empty bottle in his right hand. The bottle was cracked to no end, seemed about to shatter.

_Haha, don't worry. It's not going to last very long anyway._

Huh? What was… Oh, wait a minute. That was Visser One's voice. Where was she? … I spun around in all directions, but didn't see her anywhere. The voice sounded far away, as if coming from another room...

_You're such an idiot…_

( Yeah, I know. ) I muttered, my voice filled with undiluted hatred.

Ellie and Iniss both looked surprised.

" Who are you talking to, Visser Three?" Ellie asked, for once without her usual "like".

I pointed to the wall, utterly confused. ( Visser One. Didn't you hear her? )

" Visser One?" Ellie repeated, as if lost.

_It's not going to last very long…_

" Visser!" Iniss pulled on my fur and repeated, " I need some water to fill up my bottle!"

I looked at him and saw Ellie, from the corner of my eye, eyeing me strangely. Her eyes glimmered red…

My eyes shot open.

( Oh, not again… ) I growled. The dream had been coming back a lot lately. I looked at my alarm clock: Seven fifty.

I told Councilor Four about my dream once, had I told you about that? Well, assuming I haven't yet, a couple weeks ago I went over to visit him… I told him about the dream, and the first thing he asked me was:

" Did someone you know die or something?"

( Uh… not that I know of, ) I'd answered. ( Why the hell would it matter? It's a freaking dream. )

" Well… Visser One says that dreams can be symbolic in the human culture. She explained it to me and it kind of makes sense. She gave me a whole document on dream interpretation once."

( Yes, it's one of Alloran's interests as well, ) I snarled. ( Please tell me you don't believe that crap! )

" It makes SENSE, Visser Three. Our subconscious CAN play tricks on us."

( Yeah, well, how the hell does my dream meant someone died if NO ONE DIED, huh? )

" I don't know… The color scheme in your dream is what's intriguing," Councilor Four said. " Black symbolizes mourning, and white can symbolize death as well. The contrast of colors in your dream means you're confused."

( Confused about what, Dear Miss Fortuneteller? ) I snorted.

" Okay, well you know what? If you want to be like that…"

And it just went on. Councilor Four said something about Ellie's red eyes at one point… I jumped up at that, asking what it meant. But Councilor Four didn't know – he simply agreed that it was creepy.

Whatever. Dreams meaning anything or not, I hope someday the stupid dream will make SENSE at last so that I can stop waking up at seven o'clock in the morning!

Then, of course, there was Visser One. I told _her _about the dream a short while ago after a huge fight that had ended… unexpectedly. Yeah, Alloran would like to make a very inappropriate comment now, but I will not let him.

I told her about the dream, and to tell you the truth she was a lot more freaked out by the simple fact that SHE was in MY dream. She said she was cursed now, and quite frankly I had to agree. But the real cursed person here was me, of course. Me and my freaky dreams in which Iniss suddenly develops bucked teeth.

" And Councilor Four thinks that it means someone close to me has died," I whispered nonchalently.

" Yeah well… don't listen to everything Councilor Four tells you."

" You don't know SHIT about Councilor Four. He's often right."

" Still," Visser One shrugged. " Has anyone close to you died? I didn't think so, since you have NO friends."

" Perhaps one of my siblings died…" I said.

" Hopefully the lesser," we both said at once.

" Whatever…" I said. " It's not like I care or anything. It's just a fricking dream, for Akdor's sake."

" Riiight…"

" Shut up, you!"

Yeeah… You probably don't want to know what that led to. Again. Alloran didn't want to know either, but unfortunately for him, he had no choice.

These are the only two I've told about my dream so far. I would tell Iniss, but he'd probably get all "What are bucked teeth?" on me. I would tell Ellie, but I think she'd have nightmares of her own.

Hmm… I was thinking too much, and had a lot on my mind. What I needed was to cool down. To de-stress.

My solution? HAVE AN ARGUMENT WITH VISSER ONE!

_Oh, now you're contradicting yourself… _I thought.

But still I went. I hated her waaaay too much to stay away.

---

When I got to Visser One's room, I found something I didn't expect.

First of all, allow me to share this with you, Journal: For a while, Visser One and I have been talking about becoming spawn mates. Nobody would know except for us and our third party (whom Visser One wishes to be Councilor Two, the idea of which makes me shudder like an Andalite on _redin_). This idea especially appeals to me because of our relationship… I mean, let's face it – we both want to kill each other, why not do it SIMULTANEOUSLY? And what better way than reproduction?

We've been talking about this for a couple of weeks. I don't know when and how I'm actually going to ask her to be my spawn mate. She already knows, but the idea of actually being her _mate _kind of grosses me out… and makes me unbelievably nervous at the same time. I'm not the type of guy to have mates, Journal. I'll probably never even ask her, even though no one else would know and our ceremony would be extremely private…

I would know. _I would know._

Maybe I'll just wait till I'm three hundred and ninety-nine years old…

Journal, don't you EVER let slip any of this stuff to Visser One or ANYONE else. It's CONFIDENTIAL!

Anyway, back to the point.

I got to Visser One's room and found the door left ajar. At first, I thought it was strange, but then again maybe she'd heard me coming.

I pushed open the door. I heard voices, even from outside. As soon as I stepped passed the threshold, I noticed Visser One. She saw me, too, and her face immediately went red from anger…

" YOU!" she screamed. " What the HELL are you doing here?"

( Heh, ) I chuckled. ( Teaches you not to lock your door, dapsen. )

" Visser Three, GET OUT!" she yelled, stepping toward me.

( Hey, watch your tone with me! ) I snapped.

" YEAH RIGHT! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!" Visser One screamed.

I was getting angry. No one freaking talked to me like that.

I stepped forward and smacked her in the face. She fell onto the floor, clutching her jaw. And she SHRIEKED.

No kidding, she just started SCREAMING and SCREAMING.

" GET OUT!"

( Visser One, did you take your pill this morning?! ) I exclaimed, backing away.

" GET THE FRIG OUT OF MY _ROOM_!" Visser One practically shrieked.

( Visser One, take your damn pill! ) I yelled.

" I WANT YOU TO _GET OUT_! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!"

" Like, Visser, what's going on?" Ellie asked shrilly, alarmed. I turned around and saw her poke her head through the doorway, eyes wide.

Visser One burst into tears. She fell dramatically onto the floor and started sobbing like a three-year-old human who didn't get enough caramel on her sundae.

T.E. came running (about time), holding a telecom and shouting into it.

" What are you talking about? What could possibly take so long?" the Taxxon shouted into the receiver. " Yeah, shipping my ass, just get her medication over here, now! What do you mean, TWO HOURS? If you don't have her meds here within twenty minutes, I'll see to it that she fires you!"

Yeah, GO Mr. Taxxon! Hanging up, T.E. looked at Ellie and me.

" Hello, Visser Three," he greeted me glumly, looking down as his poor mistress, wailing and wailing and wailing on the soft carpet.

( Oh, don't make such a big deal out of this, would you? ) I said, looking scornfully at Visser One. ( She's probably just pissed off because you didn't give her her flakie this morning. )

" But I DID!" T.E. panicked. " What should I do? I'm calling Councilor Two!"

( Are you now? ) I asked sarcastically.

But T.E. was already talking. " Hello? Councilor Two? … Yeah, this is T.E. Could you come over here and give me a hand? … Well, see, that's the problem. Visser One ran out of medication and… yes. Okay, thank you Councilor."

( Let me guess. He's on his way to save his beloved _damsel in distress_… ) I rolled my eyes. Visser One was such a clichéd case of FREAKING DEVIL IN DISGUISE OF INNOCENT FEMALE.

There's a reason everything bad happens to Visser One, people. It's not because she's "so gorgeous and famous and powerful that it's a freakin' CURSE", it's because she's just CURSED. In general. This pathetic creature SUCKS AT LIFE.

Okay, now that I'm done ranting…

Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door. By this time, I had settled down into a corner of the room, watching the scene gleefully. Ellie was attempting to help T.E. calm Visser One down. They succeeded, and now Visser One just looked sick: staring into space, her eyes puffy and red, laying motionless on the carpet.

Having nothing else to do, I was the one who opened the door and let Councilor Two inside.

The odd excuse for a Yeerk immediately entered the room and kneeled down next to Visser One. He popped a pill into her mouth but she couldn't swallow it.

" Come on Edriss!" Councilor Two said. He shoved the pill into her throat and washed it down with water. Almost immediately, Visser One coughed and choked, but the pill was making its way through her system.

Councilor Two picked her up and carried her to her room. I heard his footsteps, and T.E.'s, following him. I followed them at a distance, too curious for my own good. T.E. and the Councilor retreated into a second room, and I listened in…

" What were you thinking?" Councilor Two raged. " For the Emperor's sake, I know you're smarter than that! She could have _died_, T.E.! It's a good thing I had that emergency pill…"

" I… I thought she had an extra bottle…" said a very guilt-ridden T.E.

" Her hormones don't produce all on their own, T.E.… Had she fallen out of that host… Her condition is very dangerous, and it's up to you to double-check…"

But I was no longer listening.

Councilor Two didn't know what he was talking about. Visser One had a _hormonal imbalance_… meaning that there _were _hormones to unbalance.

" _Her hormones don't produce all on their own…" _What the hell did that mean?

" Without the supplements, she can't stick to her host's brain. She can't even eat properly. One week without those pills, T.E., and she would have been dead."

This wasn't real. Councilor Two must have been exaggerating, there was no way…

… And suddenly, it dawned on me. The too-thin slime coat. The pills she had always taken, which she said were for migraines. Her sister Anati's overexcessive Yeerk hormones.

I thought of the broken red bottle. The one Iniss always held in my dream.

Oh, lords.

I heard silence… then the sound of the doorknob turning.

All of a sudden, Councilor Two was standing there. I could have killed him. I felt betrayed by this person who called me his friend…

He looked at me. " Visser Three? What's going on? Are you…"

( Visser One is sterile? )

Long silence. Councilor Two seemed not to know what to say. He blushed a little and seemed embarrassed, like he wanted to disappear through some hole in the ground. Well, guess what Councilor? This is not a fictional piece. You won't get gulped up by a stray plothole, so you're just going to have to face me.

" I… thought you knew," Councilor Two mumbled.

I looked away.

( Whatever, the pills fix it right? ) I asked indifferently.

" The pills control her skin and digestive hormones, but they don't fix her reproduction hormones. There still is no medication for that."

There was a short pause as we looked at each other.

( Well, it serves her right for being such a bitch… ) I said bitterly, but my heart wasn't in it.

" Visser Three…"

( What?! ) I exclaimed, looking straight at him.

" I'm sorry, I thought you…"

( Yeah, I'll bet you're sorry. ) I said. ( Why would you be sorry? )

" Because I know how…"

( You know what? ) I yelled, on my last nerve. ( I don't need a psychologist, alright? So why don't you just SHUT UP? )

I walked away before he could arrest me for insubordination.

_Visser One sterile… Visser One sterile… _The thought ran and ran through my head. It seemed impossible. Not likely. Not Visser One… Not _my_ Visser One, who nothing could ever touch…

I know her too well to believe this bullshit. Her mates would have left her long ago…

… Gah, why does it bother me so much? Why must I keep thinking of this?

It just seemed that everyone knew already… EXCEPT FOR ME.

And I know everything about her. _Everything_. Why did I ignore something so important and so crucial for so long? Of course, Visser One was probably always ashamed and didn't want her worst enemy of all people to know… but still, don't I usually manage to find things out for myself and laugh at her miseries in the comfort of my own room?

It bothered me, it really did. I hated the fact that it bothered me, but it did. It DID.

_How could she have chatted so casually about it? About being spawn mates when SHE KNEW she couldn't?_

How? How could she do this to me, that DAPSEN? Was it all just an elaborate plan to PISS ME OFF?

As I went to bed, Journal, I can tell you that I just wanted to kill someone. Not cry… I don't cry. But I can tell you that I've never, ever, _ever _hated Visser One quite so much. Ever.

I haven't spoken to her in five days.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.


	24. Ellie's Graduation

**A/N:** Yeah, guys, this is the last chapter. :) The LAST CHAPTER! I can't believe I'm done… It seems like just yesterday, I was finishing Visser Three's Diary! Just goes to show how much FUN I had writing this!!

Overall, I'm very happy with this story, and I hope you enjoyed it too. Thanks to all of you for reading, and as a gift I give you this chapter – one of my personal favorites in the Trilogy so far. Here's hoping Visser Three's Notebook will be just as good as this one:)

_**Dedicated to all my readers, because I couldn't pick just one. You have no idea how much of an impact you guys are having on my writing career by being such loyal fans and giving such helpful reviews. I hope you all stick around, because writing this trilogy would not be the same without every single one of you laughing and crying with me. I love all of you guys! **_

**Visser Three's Journal**

_**Chapter 24  
**_**Ellie's Graduation**

_((( Six months later… )))_

January 23rd

Dear Journal,

OH MY GOD! JOURNAL! WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?

Um… in Iniss's pants pocket, apparently. That stupid thief! He stole Diary once, too! What a jerk!

So yeah, yeah, I know it's been a loooong while since I wrote – got to hand that somewhat to those idiotic Andalite bandits though too, ruining my life again… I've been really, really busy on Earth TRYING to deal with those retards. I mean, a couple weeks ago I swear they went mad. I was in the middle of organizing Yeerk Fest – 3000, an ingenious plot in which I pretended to be some human named Pony – or was it Bony? – to attempt to infest all of Earth's greatest leaders. But unfortunately, I guess the bandits had become infatuated with that Swedish bald man over there or whatever, because they came that night as ELEPHANTS and THE THINGS WITH THE HORNS and STOMPED all over my party! You can believe I was _awfully pissed…_

But I SWEAR, I looked for you at least once a day!

Yeah. It's Iniss's birthday in exactly a month from now. Oh, joy. You know, I think I'm going to get him a pay cut sheet and an added note which will say, "TAKE THAT! Thanks so very much for stealing my personal belongings, you incompetent fool!"

Or do you think that's too generous of me?

Whatever. In any case, today, I had the entire day off. The reasoning behind this? Do I need a reason to take a day off now? I mean, yeah, it's been six months, but still. Hello, things have changed, but not quite THAT much.

Still, actually, today there _was _a reason…

" Like, Visser?" Ellie asked nervously. She stepped back and spread her arms. " Do you think I look totally too girlish in this dress?"

( Ellie, ) I said, ( you _always _look too girlish. In everything. )

A long pause.

( Was that the right answer? ) I asked.

" Like, no way."

Yeah… on second thought, I guess things haven't even changed as much as I initially speculated.

Ellie twirled around uncomfortably in her bright pink dress, looked at herself in the mirror, and sighed.

" Why can't I look like _Visser One_?" she mourned. " She must have this stuff like, so easy."

( Ellie, you'd be surprised how long Visser One spends in front of the mirror each morning. She is too full of herself for her own good. )

For some reason, Ellie smiled at that.

( You look just _fine_, Ellie. ) I said. ( It's just a ceremony, not the Empire Day ball. )

Which was coming up, by the way.

" Like, you think?" Ellie asked.

( Sure, why not, ) I shrugged.

" Like, YAY, Visser, I totally LOVE you!" she giggled and swung her arms around me.

I pushed her away, repelled. ( Okay, NO HUGGING. ) I yelled, frowning. ( You cannot expect to become a Visser by acting in such a childish manner! )

She blushed. " Like, sorry, Visser."

I glared at her but found myself completely ignored as she returned to her grooming. Her hair, this time. She brought a lethal-looking iron to her head.

( ELLIE. What the SEEROW are you doing? ) I asked.

" Like, curling my hair," Ellie said.

( Ellie, it's JUST A CEREMONY. )

" Like, JUST a ceremony?!" she shrieked. " This is so totally the most important day of my LIFE!"

I rolled my eyes. Just then, the doorbell rang.

_Saved by the bell, _I thought. Hell, I'm even getting better with my human pop culture references. I no longer say "Kill two nerds with one phone", of that you can be sure. Visser One quickly brought it upon herself to correct that "before it drove her insane".

I galloped madly to answer the door. Opening it, I found myself standing face to face with Councilor Four and Iniss. Why they were together, I guess no one will ever know.

They were both wearing fancy suits. Well, Councilor Four was anyway, clad in a tux that appeared to have cost him approximately a million Yeerk coins. His hair was also slicked back, that incredible show-off…

As for Iniss, he just THOUGHT his suit looked fancy. It really didn't. It just looked like he was trying to make a statement by dressing like a colorful clown. Well, at least it was colorful.

" Visser," Iniss said excitedly, " I can't believe we got invited to the ceremony! I can't wait to go!"

( Correction, Iniss, WE got invited, ) I said, pointing at Councilor Four and myself. ( You're just coming because I can't trust you alone with the stove. )

Iniss looked down.

( Okay. Why are you just STANDING there? ) I asked them. ( Either you come in, _now_, or I shut the door and return to my many important tasks. )

Needless to say, they didn't need to be told twice. They walked into the room and I shut the door behind them.

" So, Visser Three," Councilor Four said. Finally, someone intelligent. " Are you ready?"

( Why wouldn't I be? ) I asked, indifferent.

" Well… Ellie's been here for more than a year…" he said. " You can't tell me you're not going to miss her just a little bit."

( Oh yes, ) I said sarcastically. ( Because I am so going to _miss _the window-shattering sound which is her laughter. )

I rolled my eyes. I mean, Councilor Four is my best friend and all, but shouldn't he have caught on by now that making me feel positive emotions for anyone but him is a lost cause? Not everyone is as increasingly lucky as he is, to have me as a friend…

" Visser Three, you know it's going to be annoying, having only Iniss to do all the chores…" Councilor Four said, taking a different approach. He brought his hands to his face in mock horror. " YOU might even be forced to HELP OUT! Gods forbid!"

( You know, you're absolutely right, ) I said, eyes wide. ( It just wouldn't be fair to force all that work on Iniss. Especially considering he's getting a pay cut. )

" I'm WHAT?" Iniss exclaimed.

( … So maybe I'll hire a maid! ) I exclaimed. ( That'll work! )

Councilor Four shoved his forehead down into his hand, defeated. Iniss looked like he was about to cry at the news of getting a pay cut (Serves him right!). I could hear Ellie singing loudly ("LA LA LAAA LA LAAAA…!") from all the way over here.

It all just seemed so NORMAL. So ordinary, you know? I mean, aren't _all _my entries like this?

… Have things really changed so little in six fricking months?

Soon, they would change. Today was Ellie's last day as my intern. In one week, she'll be shipped over to the training base, where she'll stay for another six months, and from there Visser One will decide where to place her.

Visser One'll go easy on Ellie when that time comes, but seriously, can you PICTURE Ellie at a training base? Girly Ellie? Isn't that the funniest thing EVER?

Speaking of Ellie, here she came, down the hallway to meet us – red hair curled, high heels, all meticulously made up… She looked like a freaking science grad, not a future Visser!

She's still only twenty, though. Who knows, maybe she'll outgrow the whole girly thing…

Eventually…

Possibly…

Somehow I doubt it…

( Hurry up, Ellie, do you WANT to miss your own ceremony? ) I shouted.

" Like, I'm COMING, Visser." Ellie said.

Councilor Four looked at his watch.

" We'd better go," he said. " It starts in twenty-five minutes, and Ellie has to be fifteen minutes early."

I nodded, and we left, shutting the door behind us. The four of us set off for the seventh floor, where the main auditorium was located. Sometimes, we Vissers had seminars there. Mostly along the lines of "How to Handle Subordinates". Today, however, circumstances were different. It was the yearly Yeerk Empire Military Graduation Ceremony. Usually, I don't go, since only Visser One and the Council need to be present every year, but this year was different since Ellie was my intern.

We took the shaft to get down to the auditorium. Ellie looked nervous the whole way. Yeerks today had it rough. When I was a young Yeerk, it was kind of impossible to have a decent internship and ceremony, main reason being that we were cruising in ships and orbiting the Hork-Bajir home world.

No, I am not ANCIENT, thank you very much.

We got out of the shaft and started off toward the auditorium, which was pretty much on the other end of the floor. About halfway there, Iniss started crying.

He ran forward and practically threw himself onto Ellie. " ELLIEEEE! I DON'T WA-WA-WA-WANT YOU TO GOHOHOHOHOHHH!"

Ellie hugged Iniss back. Eww.

" Like, it's okay Iniss!" she smiled. " I'll totally come back and visit you guys, I promise."

I guess that made Iniss feel a little better, because he stopped all-out bawling and proceeded to excruciating sniffling.

" Y-y-you will?" he asked, inhaling dryly.

" Like, _duh_," Ellie said.

( Oh, Iniss, calm down at last, ) I sighed. ( One you see Visser One you'll forget all about crying. )

" VISSER ONE is going to be there?" Iniss immediately beamed.

( See, I told you, ) I said.

Before we even knew it, we had arrived. Councilor Four quickly opened the door and motioned for Ellie to enter first. What an exhausting gentleman. Of course, Iniss and I weren't as lucky. The door, however, boosted my speed a little by whacking me in the hindquarters, so I suppose I shouldn't complain.

As soon as we got inside, Councilor Four ushered Ellie into a side door and quickly went to take his place at the Council area. I walked over to general seating, where, of course, there was a reserved area for myself and other Vissers in the front.

I stood next to the row of seats right behind the booth where Visser One was feverishly getting the interns' paperwork ready. I got myself comfortable and leaned forward to pull on her jet black ponytail.

" What the…" she turned around and raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. " Oh, it's you. Thrilled."

( Hello, Visser One, ) I said brightly, amused.

" Hello, Visser Three…" Visser One replied dully, probably wondering exactly how much oatmeal I had eaten that morning.

( Just one bowl, ) I answered before she could ask. I put on an expression of mock sincerity. ( I swear, oh great Visser! )

She rolled her eyes. " You had better not distract me during the ceremony, you dapsen, or I will personally have you executed."

( What? But I _live _for distracting you! ) I gloated.

Visser One frowned.

Just then, the Emperor came up on stage. Today, he was in the guise of a Hork-Bajir.

" I'd like to welcome all of you to this very special ceremony," he spoke into the microphone. " In which all of this year's military interns will collect their certificate of completion, allowing them to proceed to the next step of their careers. To each of them, I give my warmest congratulations."

( Wow, this is fake… ) I said.

" Shut up, you!" Visser One hissed.

" Now, I'd like to invite Visser One to say a few words, and to present our interns with their reports and certificates." The Emperor smiled.

Everyone cheered as he left the stage, leaving Visser One to her duty. Still at her booth, she shook her head frantically, looking over her paperwork to make sure everything was perfect. Finally, she stood up, bringing the messy, unorganized pile along with her.

( You suck at life, ) I told her privately, smirking.

She turned around to blatantly glare at me. I burst out laughing.

Visser One stepped onto the stage and everyone applauded again. Except for me, of course. I would have loudly booed her if it wasn't for the Emperor standing _right there_.

" First and foremost," Visser One said, " My congratulations to all of this year's interns."

" She has a _very _nice microphone voice…" Iniss swooned, in the seat nest to where I was standing. " It's so… alto."

( Iniss, need I say SHUT. UP? ) I exclaimed.

Visser One continued her little speech. " You are one step closer to reaching your goal. It's not an easy road, but you are past your first obstacle, even though much harder trials face you yet. I'd like to wish all of you good luck on the road ahead."

She flipped through her paperwork.

" Very well," she said. " Once I call out your name, please come and collect your certificate. Anren 453."

A male human-Controller in a suit came onto the stage, greeted by warm applause. Visser One handed him his documents, shook his hand, and off he went. Visser One called a few more names, and each intern cheerfully came to receive his documents and handshake.

NORM was called. Remember him, Journal? Well, he graduated, too. Apparently, he has great leadership skills.

Norm had a hard time stopping, he ran onto the stage so fast. He bumped into Visser One, who WIPED OUT on her butt on the floor. Ohh, Journal, I simply LOVED Norm at that moment…

" Oh my lords, Visser One, Norm is so SORRY!" the gigantic man yelled. " Let Norm help you up."

He took Visser One's hand and lifted the very lobster-red Yeerk onto her feet. She smiled and handed him his papers.

More names, more names… it seemed to last forever. Then, finally, it was Ellie's turn. Visser One smiled as she called her name.

" Elliss 342."

Ellie came hopping onto the stage. She looked so incredibly HAPPY, I had to grin. Visser One looked cheerful too. It was probably because in many ways, Ellie reminded her of herself at that time in her life. Of how happy _she _was to get her completion certificate.

Ellie received her certificate and report, and Visser One just flat out gave her a hug. Then, Ellie came down the stage stairs as Visser One continued roll call. She came to join Iniss and myself.

" That was like, so cool!" Ellie laughed shrilly. " Like, I totally can't believe I graduated!"

( To tell you the truth, I can't believe it either, ) I muttered.

" Like, what, Visser Three?" Ellie beamed.

I laughed. ( Oh… nothing. )

We sat there as Visser One finished her ceremony, and as I am writing this, I can't get over the fact that this is already the last page of you, Journal! What am I to do now, now that I've finished you and will be forced to stow you away on my shelf with Diary?

Perhaps someday I shall take you both out and read you again, to see what my life has come to from the very beginning until… until now.

And I suppose I shall buy another Diary, another Journal. What shall I call it? Hmm… I guess I'll have to sleep on that one.

Anyhow, I don't have much room left, but I MUST tell you what happened next.

Visser One was just giving her closing speech when it happened. When he came into the room. We hadn't seen him for months, no one had. Not since he was admitted to the hospital and put into therapy for a long while.

He opened the doors of the auditorium and walked inside, and the first thing he said was, " Am I late?"

And I shall never, EVER forget Visser One's expression when she saw him. She stopped talking and went red, red as a tomato. Her mouth hung open. Oh, if only someone had taken a candid shot of THAT one!

He came inside and everything went quiet. Councilor Four stood up, amazed.

" _Councilor Eight?_" he exclaimed.

" What, did you really think I'd be gone forever?" he sat down. Visser One continued her speech, but less eagerly, more on edge.

Our eyes met and I grinned at her troubles. She glared.

I guess things don't ever completely change. It's impossible to foresee where time will bring me, bring my life, and as I finish you, Journal, as I complete the final page, I am more aware of that fact than I am most of the time. Where will I be when I finish my next diary? And after that? Maybe a fourth, a _fifth _diary? Will I keep writing until I am four hundred years old?

I guess I'll have to wait and see. And as I write these last sentences, all I have left is to think. To think and to wonder… where our lives will go from here.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.


End file.
